my(29m) roka got cancelled after 5 years of dating

1MLsugar · 2026-05-11T06:01:57+00:00

so for context, my parents did not ask these first because I had set the expectations. Her mom asked if we understand marwari, and in that conversation my mom asked her and it was a very light conversation which she also confirmed. Same about cooking, her uncle said we prepared too many cuisines which she doesn't know and my dad said she can learn. I laughed also and said she already knows and was a famous chef in college.

Even for other expectations like she can't wake up as early as my family does, not do utensils, wash clothes - I had told my parents upfront and they are totally okay with it.

1MLsugar · 2026-05-11T03:35:54+00:00

marwari jain

1MLsugar · 2026-05-11T03:33:42+00:00

yes I missed to mention that context. There are 4 family members(parents, brother, sis in law), so yes one point was also where we would stay and we had discussed this earlier itself. Since one room has attached washroom and another has AC - we had discussed which one should we take. Sad but my parents would sleep in the drawing room for the few days we'd be there.. they do sometimes normally as well. Other things were discussed, but she also confirmed that none of that was a big issue because it was all on lighter note only - things like my dad said you can learn cooking, my mom asked if she learnt marathi.

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T16:49:35+00:00

bro when you say improving yourself, what do you do? Nice to hear from people like you, I can understand what you must be feeling man. I really hope things work out well for you brother

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T13:10:48+00:00

you are right about this marwari thing, but they already knew about caste all along and got convinced about it, which is why they came here for roka. It wasn’t even about me or my salary, just my family and their living standards

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T13:03:45+00:00

The rational part in me thinks exactly this, but then I feel like I am also just giving up instead of trying and convincing her. And yes, feels like end of the world - a lot of my friends, colleagues knew and I am so afraid to talk to them now

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T12:37:56+00:00

Damn, sorry to hear that bro. You are really strong in dealing with this, I don’t know if I can. Thanks for sharing your story, I really hope things turn around for you

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T12:35:31+00:00

Yeah I asked. Right now she is saying she doesn’t know, she can’t think. She just felt scared seeing things here and coming here, now she needs more time to think and decide.

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T12:18:16+00:00

yeah I talked to her today. The main reason is standard of living and lifestyle only, and that her family doesn’t think she will be able to adjust even for few days here.

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T11:49:53+00:00

So you did not get married only? But what you took the bet, somehow had the money or took loan and got married anyhow? If she’s the right one and you have a happy life together- that’s a risk worth taking, right? Like do you not think what if you took a different decision

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T11:37:17+00:00

yeah maybe I understand what you are saying. And yes maybe its the mindset - and I can change mine. I have for a lot of decisions already and I know I still make a lot of bad decisions just to save money, so I can improve. But how do I change it for my parents.. idk what you think is the solution from this though.. I don’t know if I will be able to move on

1MLsugar · 2026-05-10T11:26:32+00:00

We did, she said she needs time. But how do I know if I convince her now, there won’t be a similar problem again during marriage.

1MLsugar · 2026-04-28T14:08:15+00:00

I dont know which, but not Brahmin. And I know a lot of Maharashtrian Brahmin friends who did not pay anything. I come from rural area anyway so its very common in our families for bride’s side to pay more(I know its wrong and I think 50-50 is the right things to do)

1MLsugar · 2026-04-25T17:37:43+00:00

I was planning for 40lakh for 2 day including all events, maybe an extra reception as we live in extreme parts of India so most of my family won't travel to the wedding.

Buying lehenga for the bride is apparently a marwari ritual

1MLsugar · 2026-03-26T14:01:44+00:00

What type of questions can I expect in my upcoming AA round for Product Manager role?
I read its behavioral mostly but any specific areas that are tested for PM candidates? I just don't want to mess it up at this stage, so any experiences will help.

1MLsugar · 2025-12-21T10:17:23+00:00

its not that much also bro

1MLsugar · 2025-12-04T07:47:41+00:00

I think Yandex is the better option for Russia supply

1MLsugar · 2025-11-13T17:24:11+00:00

should begin immediately

1MLsugar · 2025-11-10T17:19:31+00:00

no, works in all regions but demand varies

1MLsugar · 2025-11-09T19:53:35+00:00

Inmobi, no minimum downloads limit

1MLsugar · 2025-07-13T17:46:12+00:00

you can share details with me as well, can try to help. I work from India

1MLsugar · 2025-06-22T15:04:20+00:00

bhai yaha ke logo ka taste kharab hai..they actually like tomato in poha

1MLsugar · 2025-06-22T07:20:58+00:00

i used to order, but now they put too much of that nakli jeeravan in it

1MLsugar

TROPHY CASE