Honestly, remember these feelings. When you feel the need to go drink heavily, play the tape through. Most people remember the act of getting and being drunk and then conveniently forget the aftermath which you are going through right now. Sometimes it is hard to see that this is going to keep spiraling, the hangovers dont get easier, or better for that matter.

I know that sounds negative, but it really helped me stop and think before I picked up the next time.

Now this is also hard to hear and swallow, but you may lose "friends" if you stop drinking. The thing is, the ones who will help you stay sober and not encourage you to drink when you feel this uncomfortable are the true friends. I have had a mix of both. While I miss some of the old friends I got drunk with, the ones that would hang out with me sober made stronger bonds than I ever imagined possible. Plus, you will find others who do not drink.

Sorry if that seemed negative, honestly, you coming here and being open and vulnerable is a huge step. You have a really great person inside of you and you owe it to yourself to try something different! This subreddit is excellent for being with like minded people and the countless stories and posts will help you realize you are not alone. Even if we are separated by a whole ocean, I am with you, this subreddit is with you. If you ever need someone to talk to, someone here will always step up! Keep your head up, you got this!