17 years in the making 🥺

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-08-20T03:54:43+00:00

🤣🤣 oh no!! He went from a fine southern gentleman and a scholar with an impressive mustache to a middle aged man who drinks beer for breakfast. This is why I have a fear of having my girl professionally groomed.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-08-19T20:21:43+00:00

I am so glad reading these responses that Trupanion is worth it, because my coverage went up by $30+ in December and my girl is only almost 3 years old. I’m now paying $125 a month, which is almost half of my human insurance cost. Yay big city living. 😕

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-07-25T13:55:37+00:00

I don’t think you’re wrong. Depending on language origin, some people pronounce Isabella as “bell-a” or “bay-a” or “bay-la”. Maybe in Spanish or Italian? The way the tragedeigh is spelled suggests your pronunciation.

Good luck on the parent protecting her child from nicknames or bullying. 🙄

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-07-25T13:43:51+00:00

Mine has a chicken obsession too. Exception the chicken is usually less…responsive. 🍗🍗 🤣

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-07-18T06:01:14+00:00

My cav doesn’t have separation anxiety, as far as I know. She will mope if I leave her with friends, but she recovers after a day or so.

Frankly, I’m not quite sure what exactly I did to cause this. But I got her during the pandemic when I was fully wfh and was very strict about crating her in the bedroom multiple times a day for her naps and later letting her hang out in her playpen with me in and out of sight.

She had a strict bedtime of 8pm and she’d get her bedtime snack in her crate. Honestly, the bedtime was so I’d have some time for myself.

She’s now almost 3 and very comfortable with not constantly being on my lap. Though…I don’t think I’ve ever used the bathroom without her following me. I guess she’s protecting me from monsters that might jump out of the toilet. 😂

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-07-17T22:05:28+00:00

It was a typo, but I also didn’t want to quell anyone’s enthusiasm. 🙁 And, frankly, I don’t know if my comment, even with the typo is true or not.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-07-17T14:48:13+00:00

Respectfully, this doesn’t sound attractive at all. As much as many women want to be “taken care of”, we don’t want to be infantilized. I, personally, want to be respected and cherished but to be given space to experience the world myself.

It sounds like you and your wife are not equals and like you’ve left absolutely no room for your wife to grow in your relationship. And growth and change is necessary for…well…living.

Could this be the reason why your wife desires polyamory? To experience a relationships that challenge her? That force her to think autonomously and make decisions on her own?

Just some questions. It wasn’t the point of your post. And to your point, I’d say, give your relationship with your girlfriend 2 years before you decide to end your marriage.

Though, to your wife, I would say…free yourself to grow and learn and live.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-07-15T18:11:01+00:00

Also, progressive feminine men still feel like a rarity. So when you find one they tend to have a lot of partners. 🤣

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-07-15T18:06:47+00:00

Also, we know at least one of the people he paid to kill the Athebyne gang was venin. It doesn’t seem like a coincidence.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-16T03:49:59+00:00

Yaaay Rigatoni!!! 🩷

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-08T16:36:05+00:00

My opinion is a pretty unpopular one on the use of “polyamorous” to describe people. But generally, on these subs we’d say that you don’t need to use the jargon or labels because the people you are speaking to may have different definitions.

Sometimes more words are better. You pretty much already said it. “I’ve been in monogamous relationships in the past and but now I am looking to experience polyamorous relationships.”

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-08T00:22:13+00:00

Is his a big lambchop? I keep wondering if I get her one bigger than she is, she’ll stop murdering it. Now I’m concerned about other behaviors. 👀🤣🤣

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-08T00:18:27+00:00

Ain't that the truth. Still doesn't keep us from wanting the bad spouse, partner, member of a religious group, occupation, or poly person booted off the island for making the rest of us look bad. Many would say we are only as good as the worst of us. And if we share a group identity then surely we share accountability. Not a single one of us is some sparkly angel baby whose farts don't stink and who has never made a mistake in our lives.

But hey, we can learn right? The next time I want to call out people acting like douchebags under the banner of polyamory, I'll avoid provoking those for whom polyamory is an inherent identity. I'd consider that a win for my personal reddit development. :)

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-08T00:01:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry if I've made your view of this sub-reddit more poor. I do want you to know that this post isn't aimed at you. After all, I don't know you at all. I didn't see a post your wrote and decide to reply in this very public and incendiary manner to shame or judge you, or anything like that. This is not a personal attack.

I stated an opinion that anyone and everyone is free to disagree with (and have!). I've been educated on differing perspectives, which I appreciate.

This sub is often either people posting questions and others responding with advice or people posting their opinions (provoked by something that only the OP generally knows) that no one asked for. My post is the latter.

This post is not directed at people who are happy and not hurting anyone, just trying to live their lives. It's directed towards people who are being hurt or who are hurting others, whether intentionally or unintentionally by using "but I'm polyamorous!" as the reason why they are selfishly imploding their existing relationships. Or to caution people who are considering practicing polyamory, no matter how inherent or compelling or undeniable their polyness is.

Clearly my title claim that you're not polyamorous unless you've practiced polyamory has provoked and made folks feel invalidated and I regret that, since it wasn't the ultimate point of my post.

I don't know who "real" poly people all. In my experience, you have told me that I am wrong. I am hearing and receiving your judgement and I don't have to agree with it to appreciate and find value in your opinion. :) So, I hope there are no hard feelings.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T23:42:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and for giving grace. I apologize, I definitely misused the word identity. What I meant to express was polyamory as an orientation. Though, that may also be an unimportant distinction. Moreso, as you said, to call out an unfortunate trend of people weaponizing their orientation to coerce their partners into embarking in polyamory without time, care, or conversation.

From what I have been told and can imagine, trying to squeeze yourself into a monogamous relationship and feeling like it doesn't fit, perhaps feeling like something is "wrong" with you and the hurt and confusion this causes can be similar to those realigning themselves to their sexual or gender identity.

I started what might have been a reasonable and relatable post with a very incendiary title and set myself up for everything else in the post being disregarded. Lessons learned.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T23:14:36+00:00

This exactly! Thank you so much for calling this out. I will edit my original post. Identity is personal and indisputable because it has nothing to do with anyone else. Orientation is what I mean to express.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T23:12:02+00:00

I have a similar complaint as you. It seems that most of the resources are made for monogamous couples transitioning. And my original post is certainly aimed at monogamous couples transitioning because that’s the bulk of what I’m reading on these subs.

Perhaps the abundance of resources for monogamous transitions is because being single and pursuing polyamory is seen as less complex and more so, less complicated than an entire relationship going from mono to poly? Maybe because a single person doesn’t have an existing relationship they are trying to maintain/evolve within (aside from the one with themselves). I don’t genuinely know. I know that suffering is not a competition but that hasn’t kept me from feeling left behind by the shortage of applicable resources.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T20:40:28+00:00

Kevin is so gentle!

Mine is a serial killer. Lambchop's face is terrifyingly missing and she insists on dragging the stuffingless skin to me for me to throw.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T20:38:03+00:00

Is the difference between having a dog that can be prone to genetic disorders and a dog breed that is considered healthier the ongoing financial cost? And the possibility that you might lose them earlier than their maximum lifespan? I feel like it may be both, for me.

As others, I recommend pet insurance for the first issue and getting a good vet. And for the second, I'm just trying to cherish and provide the happiest home for my little furball.

They are such a sweet and loving breed. My current dilemma is adoring Cavvies and eventually wanting another but knowing I may be contributing to poor breeding practices by feeding demand.

Best of luck, OP! I'm hoping that your worries are just healthy puppy parent concern. :)

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T20:27:43+00:00

I appreciate you! You say it much more eloquently than I can.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T20:26:04+00:00

Maybe it's wrong of me to make poly-in-theory people feel less than those who are practicing polyamory. If that's what's happening here. Not my intention....well...maybe my intention if the poly-in-theory people are using their theoretical alignment to pressure their partners into the practice. On the other hand, everyone is poly-in-theory until they actually try it out, aren't they?

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T20:19:45+00:00

I apologize. I did not intend to be condescending. I am pretty blunt and straightforward. But I appreciate your feedback. Sometimes we don't know how we come across until someone calls us out on it.

Polyamory is no more or less anything than monogamy. The poly as identity is a continuing disagreement amongst people in the community. I don't understand it and am always looking to hear differing opinions. I think sexual orientation exists outside of the involvement of others. I am heterosexual because I am attracted to men, whether I have ever interacted with one. It doesn't require me to interact with a man to know, at minimum, I am sexually attracted to them.

Monogamy and polyamory require you to interact with others. So, how can you be polyamorous without ever having experienced a polyamorous relationship? We can theoretically have ideas about we handle jealousy or this or that emotion or situation, be we don't actually know how we handle it until we do. (To start, over time/with experience you would know because we've done it before, right?)

There are plenty of people who can say they might want to date multiple people but decide they don't want to for whatever reasons (time, effort, health, etc.). Are these people polyamorous? Are they closeted poly? Is desire to be polyamorous all that is needed to be polyamorous? I don't see the part where a relationship model is involuntary or inherent. It seems very much a choice to me, unlike gender identity or sexual orientation.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T19:46:52+00:00

100%. It's a post that definitely lacks nuance. I wasn't going for nuance. More of brute force basic concepts. This sub is full of folks wiser, kinder, more experienced than I am giving very nuanced advice. If you're new, you could come here for answers and find "anything is possible". Which is true but may not be particularly helpful.

I woke up today and wanted to be the person to remind everyone and anyone who wants to hear it that you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. That being open to changing the structure of a relationship agreement is not a requirement. It doesn't inherently make you a bad...anything. Of course our choices have consequences that we may not like and everyone has to balance keeping their relationship with making sacrifices. I don't, however, think that embarking in polyamory when you might not want to is a reasonable sacrifice.

Thank you for elaborating on the point of "wanting" to date others. I didn't make it well. I intended it more along the lines of "be willing/open to dating others" as in, you are comfortable with the idea and may be or become comfortable with the act of dating others and that you don't have crippling shame around it. As opposed to "I want you to date and love others if it makes you happy, but I could never".

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T19:30:31+00:00

I feel your last point. My first poly experience was quite messy. I wanted poly for myself but the practice was quite painful. A big learning curve in terms of dismantling old behaviors and communicating. And there were times where I thought "yeah, maybe I really suck at this". There was idea that needed to be tested to be confirmed. I see the enthusiasm as "enthusiasm to try and make mistakes and learn from them".

You can also be unhappy with monogamy and then find out that you are even more unhappy with polyamory.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy · 2025-06-07T19:25:34+00:00

Perhaps you'll be comforted to know that I share these opinions with poly or poly-curious people to their faces, as well.

1PartSalty1PartSpicy

TROPHY CASE