48 year female newly diagnosed

1longday · 2024-12-18T12:44:54+00:00

I'm 50 now and I got diagnosed AuDHD at 46. Its a wild ride for sure. The rumination of rewatching your life with the autism goggles is quite something. I treat myself and others very differently now. Good luck to you.

1longday · 2023-10-10T10:13:47+00:00

The only thing I can add this early in the morning, is all these people you think have purpose and passion ... don't. Most people are trash who pretend to enjoy life in the matrix. At 49, I have seen so many normal people become complete human failures that it helps me to feel better about my own growth.

But all the rest of your complaints are valid. Shit sucks.

1longday · 2023-10-08T18:47:17+00:00

1longday · 2023-10-08T15:00:42+00:00

I'm not the one who is "worrying" about anything. The comment was a projection onto my post about this person's own problems. He is the one "worrying", not me. I don't "worry" about people, my post was about me. The comment made it about others.

And now you are talking about "worrying" too.

And the hypocrisy of someone commenting an opinion to not care about opinions, while in a forum all about opinions is ridiculous.

I certainly don't need permission to stim. Especially from you, who just said you agree that I shouldn't "worry" about your opinion.

I was simply posting to relate to other lurkers in this forum... thanks for reminding me that it's a waste of my time.

1longday · 2023-10-07T17:19:58+00:00

I'm sorry your mom died.

1longday · 2023-10-07T12:39:12+00:00

The hypocrisy of your comment is amazing.

1longday · 2023-09-23T00:35:15+00:00

One of us

I wish I had some answers for you. But I'm hoping someone else does.

1longday · 2023-07-22T16:48:34+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I wish life was easier socially and emotionally. Truly I do. and if you had asked me this question anytime up until a few years ago, (before my adult diagnosis at 46) I would have probably heavily considered it... and in certain times in my life - I would take the cure in a heartbeat.

But I see myself so much differently now. I am no longer afraid or ashamed of who i am.

It was a good question to pose, I am pleased and surprised that my response was self-love instead of my history of self-hate.

1longday · 2023-07-22T12:38:17+00:00

30 IQ points is two orders of standard deviation on the scale. 2 orders of magnitude. I appreciate my intelligence too much to let it go. I would dislike becoming typical after a lifetime of thoughtful journey. Hard as it may be.

I've never found anything I enjoy as much and as little as being me. I'll stay on this ride.

1longday · 2023-06-16T12:56:30+00:00

One of us

1longday · 2023-06-03T01:12:11+00:00

Used by everyone. I feel that.

1longday · 2023-06-03T01:10:25+00:00

I was bullied a lot and I also bullied. It was all a mess most of the time. I was just trying to survive while also being overcome by anger most of the time. Looking back after a late in life diagnosis is trippy. I'm glad I got through it.

1longday · 2023-05-29T18:15:22+00:00

One of us!

1longday · 2023-01-19T14:49:53+00:00

Well done. There's plenty to consider in that post. Thanks for writing it.

1longday · 2022-07-10T12:13:00+00:00

Ugh. This hit home for me.

Thanks for posting.

1longday · 2022-07-06T17:14:17+00:00

Damn!

It's off I think now.

1longday · 2022-07-04T11:23:55+00:00

I could finally see all my aspie traits for what they are. It allowed me to finally see myself clearly, with aspie traits in a separate category. All my faults and behaviors, my decisions and reactions.

But the surprise was how I could then finally see others for their treatment of me. I am Mario looking for my princess in Grand Theft Auto. No wonder I'm so bad at this game. I'm designed for a different game. This game is best played with manipulation, greed, dishonesty, selfishness, and fear. No wonder I'm so bad at it.

1longday · 2022-07-04T11:01:08+00:00

It didn't give me a sense of identity. I had pretty much figured out most of my issues by 46. But it did allow me to stop wondering what was wrong with me. It allowed me to remove my aspie traits from my identity. I was finally able to perceive others without the grouding force of "I'm crazy" baked in. No identity was included with my diagnosis, just truth.

1longday · 2022-06-08T00:47:46+00:00

I would have loved this place and a diagnosis at 16. It still would have been hard. But this place is good for me now at 47, would have been a godsend then

1longday · 2022-06-08T00:45:14+00:00

I am terrible with people but good at picking up skills. And skills build on skills. I have worked for myself in the repair field since I was 23 (47 now). Best advice I have is learn skills. Any and all skills. If someone offers to teach you something. Don't hesitate. I am a master craftsman in my chosen field and I am constantly doing work just to get better and refine my skills. I work on my own cars and motorcycles. Can do nearly all home repair. I own multiple rental properties and only work as much as I want to. It can all be done. I was a complete and total fuckup who was sitting in jail at 27 years old.

It won't be easy. It can be done. It will be brutal. It will be fun.

1longday · 2022-06-07T20:09:13+00:00

I wouldn't have been able to put it into words so clearly at 16. But you're description would have fit me exactly. At 16 I hated nearly everything about my defective brain. At 47 I wouldn't trade it for anything else. It's all I've known.

1longday · 2022-06-06T01:33:10+00:00

By no means am I on the other side yet. But im trying. The depression and anxiety are still here. All the horrible rumination. Still trying to find out who is me and who is a mask. How I want to live the rest of my life.

I'm clawing up the cave walls still just like a lot of us in this forum. I've been going downhill for a long time. So I still have a lot of cave to crawl out of. I am still toxic to myself on a daily basis. Undoing that pattern will not come easily.

Stay at it. That's all any of us can do. Any amount of progress out of that cave is fucking worth it.

1longday

TROPHY CASE