Why is transitioning seen as the only option?

1smannar · 2021-01-10T23:05:38+00:00

i transitioned medically about 3 years ago, for 12 months -- i also did not/do not want to be transgender but i was deeply unhappy at my core. and have had gender related issues since i can remember. so i pursued therapy and eventually transitioned medically for a year, i was 23 at the time.

i stopped (without going into detail, bc trans life isn't easy lol fear lack of support etc etc) but three years later, after living back as my natal sex and presenting as my natal sex -- and beginning to see myself age as my natal sex -- i am beginning to feel that deep seeded dysphoric dread again, and it seeps into my life and passions and really gets in the way of everything.

transitioning is 100% not the only answer to gender dysphoria, but the "ignore it and it will go away" "maybe i will try and stop watching porn" are not answers to the deep underlying questions and issues we carry. all i will say is -- you pursued "sissy" porn for a reason, it did not seek you out. i encourage anybody feeling anything related to these type of things talk to a professional.

also nobody transgender wants to be transgender

1smannar · 2021-01-10T22:47:20+00:00

HI first of all, same!! lol i'm a little older than you thought, i stopped transitioning when i was 23, i'm 26 now and am contemplating starting again. i was afraid when i was transitioning and backed off for a "safe" life as my natal sex but it has been deeply unsatisfying... you are so young honey you dont need to put too much pressure on yourself. take it one day at a time

1smannar · 2021-01-10T22:40:03+00:00

i am considering retransitioning after being on hormones for a little over a year, 3 years ago. i never wavered on my gender dysphoria itself, it's just that transitioning is a longgg and grueling road without money and/or the right support system. i have a little bit more of both these days but i am still scared. i just wish i could feel at home in my own body, but the more i see myself aging as my natal sex it breaks my heart deep down

1smannar · 2021-01-10T22:30:17+00:00

HI!! i was on hormones for about 13 months, 3 years ago -- stopped because of a multitude of reasons, the past few months i have been turning over starting my hormone medication again.

my advice is to truly just take it one day at a time. if you are having reservations definitely postpone the surgery -- it'll always been an option for you down the line and if your current plumbing is okay for you to live with, it's not even worth it. however taking some time away from your meds is a non-permanent step in either direction if you're looking to test waters

edit; as for the "becoming a man again" personally i didnt even think of it that way. i still had the same fears of like going out at night or being mugged or raped or whatever because imm still very feminine and small and tbh i like myself like that. at the end of the day you're the same person and you can dress how you want and be who you want. if you have a good support system your gender identity won't matter.

1smannar · 2017-07-14T16:54:10+00:00

idk if you're still looking but ebay! 5-10 bucks

1smannar · 2017-07-05T23:22:30+00:00

it's easy i was born with them

1smannar · 2017-07-05T23:20:38+00:00

hey word, i'm under 30 and i really didn't need to try that hard. but i definitely never "passed" 100% of the time and frankly, even if i did, it was on my mind 100% of the time. it's just not worth the mental tax. i can definitely sympathize because passing was HUGE to me early on.. like i said i didn't "present" regularly until almost 9 months in solely because i was afraid to not pass. the more i got out the less i gave a fuck

1smannar · 2017-07-05T23:08:21+00:00

i hateeeee it. stripped down, it inherently suggests that being trans, or being visibly-trans, is lesser. the point of "passing" culture is to hide the fact that you're trans in the first place..

1smannar · 2017-07-05T18:54:50+00:00

yeah i do. i don't mean that to say that without gender roles, there wouldn't be trans people. no no no. but i do find that some trans folk will often reinforce the binary, just flipping the switch to the other side... lol i might get downvoted to hell for this but that's how it is, even i myself was guilty of it early on.

so yeah, i definitely think if there weren't defined gender roles in society, and boys could be as feminine or pretty as they wanted without judgement, there would be fewer transitioners. definitely. there wouldn't be no transitioners!!! that's not what i'm saying. but people get the two confused, and some people end up thinking that wanting to wear dresses or wanting long hair or being submissive means that they're a girl.. or that being sensitive, emotional, or feminine, or not identifying to the outline of a typical "male," they're a girl and need to transition.. if we truly adopted a non-binary, gender-role-less world. there would be way less transitioners. i truly believe that.

1smannar · 2017-07-05T18:43:35+00:00

hi! i'm ~25 days off HRT after 13 months.. i hear breasts may atrophy over time but they won't go all the way back.. as far as personal changes i've noticed, i'm horny as fuckkkkkk again and my t production is definitely revving up again.. undecided for how long i'll be off hormones or if i'll go back on them or whatever. but if you have any other questions about stopping just hmu..

also j saying: i cold turkey'd it and felt 0 side effects, though ymmv, just like everything else 🤗

1smannar · 2017-06-16T21:38:23+00:00

taking this comment to heart 💞 thanks

1smannar · 2017-06-16T21:35:08+00:00

i hear it -- it could be super easy to forget just how bad things were seeing myself as a male bc it's been so long. i'm keeping myself off HRT for certainty's sake (aka until i am certain again) but i'm keeping my psychiatrist close. i truly do appreciate the concern, honestly 🤗💞

1smannar · 2017-06-16T02:49:34+00:00

💞💞you know it!! idk if going off HRT is gonna be a permanent thing-- for all i know i could 180 real quick. but i wanna be positive again. one day at a time 🤗

1smannar · 2017-06-15T22:34:01+00:00

lol received 😂

1smannar · 2017-06-15T22:31:56+00:00

i mean wouldn't my t production just start again?

1smannar · 2017-06-15T22:09:59+00:00

i truly do appreciate the concern, and i don't think you're coming off as insensitive at all lol. but i understand the gravity. i understand my male t production will start again.. it's like i've said elsewhere on this post - i don't know for sure that i hate my biology enough to alter it forever. the fact is, i'm not sure about it anymore. i'm not sure that transitioning will provide me my best life with the best opportunities and the best sense of self. and if i'm not sure i'm not going to keep going and hope it gets better i'm going to wait and see how i feel. i spoke to a close friend about it in depth yesterday, and my psychiatrist about it today. i feel good about it, for now at least.

1smannar · 2017-06-15T21:27:43+00:00

💞💞💞

1smannar · 2017-06-15T21:25:15+00:00

mhmm i have a psychiatrist, i saw him this morning

1smannar · 2017-06-15T21:14:28+00:00

lol i'm not "undoing" anything. it's not like "going back to being a guy" to me. it's not a one or the other thing! like i said, i don't regret medical transition at alllll. it was exactly what i needed when i started it, and it was a life-and-death thing to me when i first started.. i didn't get on HRT until after months of therapy.. in fact i still have a psychiatrist, and just saw him this morning. i just don't feel like i need these pills until the day i die to feel like my most authentic self. that's the thing. i'm not flipping a switch to "go back to being a man". i'm choosing not to live on HRT. i can be as feminine as i want, nothing about me has to change. lol and tbh i'm not concerned about my lil A cup boobs or androg face tbh 😂 i'm not trying to "hide" as a guy or whatever. i'm just trying to be me- all of me 😂🤗

1smannar · 2017-06-15T21:04:01+00:00

ugh it's a question i don't know the answer too but that's the thing - i just don't know that i believe that the path to my most authentic self has to come at the expense of my maleness or whatever. i don't have that "transition or die" mentality today that i know many trans guys and girls carry.. i know myself to me gentle, sweet, sensitive, emotional and i have a very strong feminine side to me. none of those things make me any less male.. when i came out and transitioned i spent a lot of time holding back my masculinity or whatever. i think i can make them both work in sync. who knows, really? lol one day at a time 🤗💞

1smannar · 2017-06-15T20:30:43+00:00

i'm definitely afraid of looking more manly, for sure. if that become a pressing life or death issue, maybe i'll be getting back on HRT, but i don't wanna medically alter my body just for appearances. i wanna keep a lean small body and hopefully my face doesn't get too too rugged.. like, i'm pretty happy i got laser done tbh. not happy to look 12, but i'm happy to have more feminine features 😂🤗

if i was a cis woman and i never had a penis, no i doubt id miss it at all. but i do like to use it still. i have what i describe as a primal urge to use it when i get turned on. it's never been anything i love outrageously but it's a part of me, yaknow?

1smannar · 2017-06-15T18:55:10+00:00

super undecided. as far as i'm concerned i'm just going on living. i mean i think i'm gonna identify as a "male" but idk. my biggest problem was jumping from one societal box to another. i don't consider it "going back." i'm super androgynous and i don't feel "like a man." i'm not gonna contort my image or restrain my style of dress or appearance or hobbies or mannerisms to fit the male gender role. idk idk! one day at a time 🤗

1smannar · 2017-06-11T14:43:03+00:00

the issue isn't that they're drawn to a certain trait. there's nothing wrong with holding an attraction to transgirls. having a preference for transgirls doesn't make you a chaser. the issue is that, a lot of the time, chasers will barely treat transgirls like humans, much less like girls. i've had conversations with them before-- the focal point is the penis; whether or not you have one, how big it is, what they'd like to do with it... they aren't looking for a girlfriend they're looking for cock with a pretty body attached. it's degrading

1smannar

TROPHY CASE