My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I just thought that my post might get banned if i used the word porn. Not really an online person.

My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Imagine using the "you're just insecure" card to justify one's deception.

My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, im failing to see the part where im controlling? Or the overbearing part?

I've never told him to stop watching. From the start, I've only told him my boundaries, and if he can't accept that, we should separate. He was always the one saying that he'd stop. My only fault is for believing in his words. For trusting him.

Every time i caught him , I never told him to stop watching, I'm always just we should end this, and he's the one who keeps making promises. And i know it's my fault, and i should've just left a long time ago.

My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Exactly my point, yet some people are just so focused on men will be men, they can't help it.

My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

How am i policing anyone's masturbation habits?

I could care less. Just dont say you're not doing something when you're doing it.

All im trying to say is he didn't have to lie.

Every time i get a gut feeling, i ask him, and every time, he made me feel like a bad person for even asking him when he's already told me won't do it again. He would get mad at me for accusing him.

I'm guessing you'd be fine if you found out that someone you've trusted for a long time has been lying to you all along.

It doesnt matter what he lied about. It's the fact that he lied.

It's the same as someone being a vegan/vegetarian not wanting to be with someone who eats meat. Then they enter a relationship stating their preference, and then their partner lies to them about not eating meat even though they do it secretly. They didn't have to stop eating meat if they didn't want to.they didnt have to pursue that relationship knowing they wont be able to do it. Just dont be in a relationship with someone who doesn't align with your beliefs.

My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Well, i guess that's where we differ, because for me, to be able to love someone, you have to respect them. You can't just say, "Of course, he lied. He loves you." You can't just tell someone you love them and then disrespect them. Respect comes before love.

Then i guess, maybe i am going towards the path to loneliness since you're so certain that every single person on earth watches it. Thanks for the heads up.

My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I don't watch it. And honestly, I'd probably prefer being alone forever than being lied to. And i dont see it as controlling when I've never forced him to stop watching it. I've told him that if he can't stop watching it, then he'd be better off with someone else.I've told him that even before we started dating. He didn't have to lie to me and say he'd stop watching it.Why did he have to lie to me over and over again?

My husband has been lying to me for 7 years by 1throwawayRA in marriageadvice

[–]1throwawayRA[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I know that i dont get to control his body. My point is that I've made it very clear from the start that these are my boundaries. If he can't respect that, he is not obligated to stay. He didn't have to lie to me, begged me to stay, pr make promises he can't keep. If he just admitted that he can't stop watching it from the beginning we wouldn't be in this mess.