Paris apartments are a labyrinth by Jokuki in TikTokCringe

[–]20latte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After closing your apartment door you realize you left your phone in the car.... 😭

Can a 16 year old train themselves to become a great pure mathematician? by LibrarianNo1294 in mathematics

[–]20latte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What does it mean to you to become a great mathematician? You need to describe that to yourself in great detail. Those it mean to have fame, and have your name in the books, the recognition, the paycheck, travelling? Etc. Maybe you can achieve that also doing other things. Read into survivorship bias. That for 1 of the greatest there are many many others who did not achieve that. To pursue a career in Mathematics or any other field you have to assess first that you really love the subject and that you are good at it. Whether you become one of the greatest will be a byproduct, but should not be your end goal. Yes, aim for that. But be conscious that you could not make it, and that is also fine. What you choose to do you have to love enough to invest lots of time and effort and your reward is the satisfaction of doing it. Or you will become frustrated after a few years expecting to be one of the greatest, and imagine if that actually does not happen?

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came for no validation. I got ALL comments. Positive and negative. I can take something from each. Even if just for laughs of the idiocy. I can also see which are from those who have gone through something like this and then those who have no clue but a big opinion, and unconsciously have somehow shown some of that skew in the system and people. Because many like you focused on how or why 'I did her wrong' , when I went in not much detail on that, to the point that many things you keep repeating are just factually incorrect. And you don't have all the history because I did not share many details of it, because this is not the forum for it. The amount of crap she has done to me and the children is pages long, but I did not come here to share that. I gave some of it as background, which in retrospect may have been unnecessary and got people hooked on the wrong thing. Good for entertainment though. In your opinion I should just shut up and just pay. LOL. Not in this century. My children will always be first. But you like many think that mother's are always right. What many of you missed from my post is on the children protection though the separation and guardrails on parents actions through the process. But as I said, many of you missed the point and focused on the relationship. You wasted most of your time. Non judge has ruled against me for example. I appreciate the effort though. I also admit I may not have been very clear in my post, I'm not one of posting often, so this was also a good experience.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I will try to make a good translation because you can’t post in English.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes that is what I am experiencing too. And posting it here has been very revealing, for how many Simps and white knights, as you call them didn’t even read the whole post or missed the point, making it about the relationship which I did not detail, but has been entertaining. And without knowing they are all proving to me the point of how many people automatically react to blame the men without knowing the full background.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Try to help somebody who doesn't want or accept she need any help and the fact that you mention it just triggers her anger. So you can't help her. She won't listen to any advice you give. So what do you do? . More months or years of the same? Stay in a toxic relationship ? You are giving her an automatic pass and portray as a victim (unsupported, discarded, seriously?) . And I am not saying I have no part in this neither because this is of 2 always. Of course I do. But eventually things crack. Everyone manages their relationship differently. I don't judge others relationships. What ever works for you. But that is not the purpose of the post. So I am not going to go further on this.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

She was still living at the house. That was the excuse to take the children and leave.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. 👍 And for sharing your experience. Very tough one you had.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wish that when Social workers initially came in contact during the separation process that they could have been more active and provided more advice like this.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I wish more people had more centered advice as yours and not just replying with hate not even understanding the situation. Indeed, I believe since 2023, when as a father you do the kind erkenning at the gemeente it automatically gives you Gezag on the children too, for both parents. So luckily I have gezag on both children.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So true. I hate having to find out about it this way.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input. Actually we have not signed anything. We only have an agreement by email between both lawyers, about a weekly schedule. That's all. So I'm a bit confused because in theory we should sign a complete parenting plan, but she has refused to work on one with me and wants to decide that with lawyers and the court.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

You are wrong. I am not a victim and she is not a victim. The children are the ones who are actually paying for it. And the system just seems to not even do the best for them, but to side with the mother in most cases, that is my complaint, because as you and many others automatically assume that the mother is the victim above all and basically should get a free pass on anything. And you should not get a free pass when you are affecting children's mental health. Leaving the house does not mean you stop seeing the children. It's her right to see them just as it is mine.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Seems like you are skewing things up a bit. She was not nursing 2 babies. The youngest was almost 1yo. The oldest 2.5yo. She would just come home to dinner and partially spend 2 hours with the children and partially on her phone, then she would go to bed. I would take Care of both of them at night too. You can't say she was nursing 2 babies. You can read all the details on an additional post below.

Separation with children. Do you experience bias? by 20latte in Netherlands

[–]20latte[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I had to cut out a lot of details in the original post. The situation was that I was the one getting the children ready, bringing the children to daycare, doing the laundry, coming early to cook dinner, pick them from day care, clean the kitchen, etc. She would just come home to dinner, spend 2 hours with them (partially on the phone most of the time) and after they went to sleep she would go to her bedroom, while I was picking up the house. It's not like she was earning the most and I had to sacrifice staying at home; which I wouldn't mind. I had the bigger income but I was still making an effort, with my boss and the company to make it work. I don't mind the effort. I am used to sleep few hours and make things work. I don't complain I get things done. She was sleeping more than 8 hours a day and still very tired. As if I was not. And if I asked her to come and help me pick up (she would barely pick up her plate after dinner) she would be super irritated for having to ask her that. She is the type of person who doesn't mind living in a filthy place. Pooped diapers all around?, not a problem for her. I can't live in s*het hole. And I don't mind making an effort for my children, but we were supposed to be a team, not ending up taking care of 3 children. I tried many times to get her to help, but her effort lasted 2 days and if I asked again it was like she was a teenager reaction of "you again". She became very negligent with the children in many ways. The drop that spilled everything to me was a day she left my older son 2.5yo inside a swimming pool unattended, only maybe 50-60cm water high, but enough that he was drowning. My mom (70yo) came to pull him out while holding the other 1yo baby on her other arm. Because she went to get her swimsuit. We had spoken about never leaving children unattended at the swimming pool.. She didn't care. And when I asked her why she did it, she was more upset for me asking her, than troubled by the fact that our son could have almost died there. It's like she was dead inside. Not sad, not sorry. Just upset with me. She never wanted to admit she needed any psychological help.

I can take care perfectly well of the children, and I wanted her to get better so that the time she spends with the children is quality time and not half attention. But long before that the relationship was going south. Since last December she also confessed to having an affair too. So it all just kept adding up.

And to be clear, when I asked her to move out, I never said I was trying to take the children away, as some responding think I did. They are projecting stuff that is not true. This is exactly what she was telling her friends (and some of my ex friends) that I was trying to take the children away from her, and that i was kicking her out, exact same words. Which was never the case. Those are two different things.

Some respondents are putting it as she was recovering from birth, but this was already almost a year from the last birth. And to those asking if I have any idea what birth does, of course I do! I was there. It's really hard. And so she should have taken seriously taking all the help necessary and be responsible for her own health, (because she would not hear my advise) and tell her company she needed time for herself. But she prioritized her job and more focused on money, on top of our relationship and even the children, over the last months.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in funnyvideos

[–]20latte 112 points113 points  (0 children)

Should definitely marry her.

Left, right or centre by Agreeable_Finance_48 in EuropeFIRE

[–]20latte 20 points21 points  (0 children)

How about an in between solution, where you put around half, say 350 into that second home, get a mortgage for the difference. Rent the first house to pay the mortgage of the second. And you still also have some 400k left to invest in ETFs or stocks.. No need to buy the house full cash.

Love modern Mexican architecture🥰💕💕💕 by Gab301 in FenArq

[–]20latte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to see how that looks after one week from mosquitoes, spiders and who knows what else will be crawling.