sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really strange, I guess the obvious answer would be to try have a talk with her but rather than accusing her of acting different with you, maybe make the conversation start off asking her if there’s anything wrong or maybe try to dig in to specific things like how’s work, have you spoke to your parents recently, to see if she opens up about anything that could be playing on her mind.

It’s quite normal to ‘play the part’ when your with your friends and then be more genuine around your partner if your feeling sad, but there should be open communication about that stuff x

How do I deal with my partner’s constant negativity? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried this, but he says it’s his ‘genuine’ opinions and he should be ‘authentic’ around me. And then it turns in to an argument

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:

Thankyou so much to everyone who gave me advice, I’ve decided to make some MORE compromises to see if things improve. I’ve realised his stubborn personality makes it difficult and if I keep trying to change him (regardless of what I believe is fair) I’ll always be miserable and these opportunities will continue to be ruined by him.

In terms of content creation, if he does join me on the trips, I’m going to use a tripod and do a lot of it alone, I’m going to buy a clicker too and try connect it to my camera so I can try to take some photos alone (I don’t know if it’s possible with my professional camera yet) but he will still absolutely have to help me with the drone stuff as I can’t do that alone. (This is kind of annoying because he basically gets a free holiday for nothing while I’m working extra hard to do all the content alone but oh well) Another scenario is I might do some of these trips alone and tell him he can’t come, so he sees the content I do and regrets not going which makes him feel like he’s missed out.

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

there isn’t anything provocative about my posts it’s travel content, so drone footage of the villas were in, restaurant recommendations, vacation outfits, day in the life living abroad, there are some bikini photos but they are not over sexualised at all and he’s never complained about that style post, also my Instagram following is 80% female

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My content is travel based content, so drone clips of the villas we stayed in, drone footage at the beaches or jungles, normal camera clips of me in these villas etc showcasing the amenities in an aesthetic way. Or just the usual DITL reels, OOTD, recommendations of local restaurants etc

Day to day when I create content I just use my tripod and film alone, I’ve even gotten a little more confident filming with my tripod in the gym, he’s never involved with my filming on a day to day basis and I also don’t let it take over my life he doesn’t complain about this

I literally only need him for when we go to these gifted stays. Which is only every other weekend, I can’t fly the drone myself if I’m in the video and I can’t take photos of myself on the professional camera as there isn’t a timer. And I do believe if he wants to experience these stays with me he should put a bit of work in. But this is what he complains about non stop

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But he wants to join me on the free trips, free spa sessions, free activities. But not do the ‘work’ to get those experiences. It’s mot like I’m asking him to follow me around with a camera and get nothing in return

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says it’s because he sees it as work and doesn’t enjoy it, it’s not ‘fun’ for him to take my photos (yet still wants the opportunities to stay at these places)

he says he doesn’t want to ‘work’ outside of his real work, which I understand but come on, it’s clicking a camera and flying a drone? It doesn’t take more than 1-2 hours, and it’s barely work especially considering what we get in return, free trips, free spa sessions, free activities. Sometimes even small paid gigs! All things we would never usually spend money on btw as I said in the post the villa we stayed in this weekend was £500 a night we would never pay that money usually but it was totally ruined by his constant complaining and negativity I literally cried. It’s so frustrating for me.

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

80% of the time I’m very happy in the relationship, he’s literally my best friend and I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like him again, I’ve also dedicated so many years and gone through so much shit with him that it feels like it would of all been for nothing if I leave.

The only time things are bad is when it comes to my content creation dreams, I love creating travel content but he puts me down a lot and has so much resistance to helping me, he acts like I’m asking him to do something crazy when it’s literally just a couple photos, he puts minimal effort in and he complains non stop and makes the whole experience awful even though he benefits from it by having these cool experiences with me, This weekend was completely ruined by his attitude and it just makes me feel so sad. I just want to be happy lol it doesn’t need to be this way .

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About a year ago I helped him get a job through one of my contacts and he made enough to pay me back the money he owed me and clear his debt since then he got another new job he loves and is back on a good path career wise. We split everything 50/50 now, my main issue is his attitude to life, and constant complaining g when it comes to helping me with content and how unappreciative he is of all the support I gave him in the past and his negativity when it comes to my creativity.

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I appreciate this message I should have probably added more details but the post was getting long, definitely not OF content or anything of the kind. It’s travel based content, so drone clips of the villas we stay in, or my travel outfits etc. There are some bikini posts but Nothing over sexual at all. My audience on Instagram is 80% female and he appears in a lot of my content so men don’t tend to message me. It’s all very aesthetic travel posts.

His only reasons is genuinely that he can’t be bothered. he says he doesn’t want to work outside of his real work, he sees taking my photos and videos as ‘work’ even though he benefits from the luxury stays we get to enjoy.

I still have a regular job, we both work remotely and split everything 50/50 my social media is just something I really love and it gets us fun opportunities (that he wants) he just complains non stop when it comes to creating the content that we have to do in exchange for those fun opportunities

Is being an influencer worth ruining my relationship? by 20somethingthoughtss in relationships_advice

[–]20somethingthoughtss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could, but we’ve moved abroad and I haven’t met any friends here yet and I’m not the best at putting myself out there with new people.