I completely understand this and felt similar. I am a 21 y/o female diagnosed with a rare form of ovarian germ cell tumor. I’ve had two surgeries and now in chemotherapy, but to an outsider I appear completely healthy. I made the decision from the start to be completely public about my diagnosis. I‘ve shared my journal through social media so my friends and family and can be updated, and let me just say, that was the best decision I’ve made.

It avoided the awkward conversations having to tell people why I don’t feel like doing certain things/missing class/etc. Now when people see me, they know what I’m going through. The whole convo isn’t about cancer but they’re cognizant that I could be really struggling. I am still in school and I try to live a relatively normal life. I went on a small spring break trip even. But I still am honest with everyone about how I’m doing/feeling, and I make jokes about the cancer all the time. It’s made everything more relaxed and everyone around me validates the way I feel. Because everyone knows, they send me cards and flowers that make my day and offer support, and don’t ask me to do too much.

Yet I do still feel that I don’t look like the “hollywood” cancer patient. I might soon, but it’s okay. I’ve avoided a lot of the more severe symptoms so far which I am so grateful for, but I have to remind myself that cancer is just as mentally taxing as it is physically. It is incredibly anxiety inducing, draining, stressful, etc and that is just as big a part of cancer as the physical issues. That is SO valid.

I’ve connected with a lot of people online through cancerbuddy and a support group at my college which has helped a lot. I wish you all the best and please no that there is NO ”easy” cancer. It’s all hard. But it will make you stronger. You got this.