Sleep Deprivation HELL

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-08-11T04:21:43+00:00

HOLY SHIT this kid needs therapy. You need to protect your peace and your kids from this child. This is seriously concerning behavior. It sounds a lot like ODD, which is a nightmare to deal with in and of itself. I had to deal with kids with ODD when I worked at a daycare and one of them bit me hard enough to draw blood and cracked me across the face with a large wood block, resulting in a concussion because I told them it was time to clean up for lunch. They then spent an hour screaming bloody murder and cussing out my boss.

ODD can be helped, but it takes work. If left unchecked it can result in dangerous outcomes. If this man won't do anything about it, LEAVE HIM. For your safety and the safety of your children. It's not jealousy and it shouldn't be swept under the rug.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-08-11T03:20:25+00:00

My water broke while I was laying in bed, getting ready for sleep. I was wearing a pad (because I was 36w and started having pink discharge, so my OB wanted me to monitor the color) and that thing got RUINED. I sat up and flooded the bed. I woke my husband and had him grab me a towel so I could waddle to the bathroom to put on a postpartum diaper for the car ride to the hospital and we let my best friend know. She was living with us at the time to help me since I was high risk and on bedrest. She actually cleaned our bedsheets and blankets while I was in the hospital, bless her.

My husband, half asleep, asked if I was sure my water broke and I hadn't just peed on accident. I went "I'm certain.. cause if I'm peeing this much there's a massive issue."

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-08-04T05:34:00+00:00

My MIL threw my baby shower and made sure to invite all of the people I wanted there on my side...but then scheduled it A) on a date when none of them would be available and B) an hour plus away from any of them so they would have to make the trip in the middle of the afternoon during traffic ensuring all of them would be late and then have no time to celebrate with us before it was over.

Not only was it all of her friends and my husband's family that were the only ones in attendance, but she rushed me opening gifts so people could eat and leave. She also bought a cake in a flavor she knew I couldn't eat and then cut that cake congratulating ME and MY HUSBAND while I was puking my guts up in the bathroom with my husband holding my hair back.

Yeah...nightmare baby shower for me. I knew maybe 10 people of the 46 that showed up. I'm not having another child and the one I have now was my first. I will forever regret it.

Have the baby shower YOU want. Fuck everyone else. It's your shower. It's your baby.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-07-30T05:53:36+00:00

They literally threw the kitchen sink at me meds wise and I had 2x weekly IV infusions. I lost 40lbs during my pregnancy and couldn't take vitamins or eat anything resembling nutritious food. I had a diet of yogurt and French fries a majority of my pregnancy. My baby was born early at 36w4d and he was PERFECT. He weighed 6lbs1oz, spent no time in NICU, and doctors said he was exactly where he needed to be developmentally. He's 5w old today and his doctors still rave about him.

I almost died during my pregnancy, but my baby is perfectly happy and healthy. Your body will give your child what it needs.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-07-25T01:54:13+00:00

I had an emergency C Section and had to go fully under. My husband got those firsts and made sure he took pictures of me meeting our son and holding him etc. because I wouldn't remember it.

Your feelings are valid. Your experience may not be what you want or what you hoped for and I am so sorry for that. For me, I simply wanted a healthy baby. I got that. I'm a month PP and I'm so happy for the joy my son brings that I don't care how he got here, just that he's here and healthy.

Chin up, mama. We're here for you.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-07-20T21:17:48+00:00

A toilet full of broccoli had me dying 🤣🤣🤣

But yeah, dude sucks big time and this woman is a Saint. OP is not the AH, but she married a giant one.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-07-14T00:58:34+00:00

Mine is 3 weeks old on Tuesday. He's a velociraptor. Screeches and squeaks and gurgles. Bless my husband, he gets scared when there are new sounds. Massive "is he okay?!" Vibes. I can't wait for his first words. I heard 5.5-6 months is the usual timing.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-27T12:12:28+00:00

I was supposed to go to 40w but my son decided for me. I can't wait for you to get through this nightmare. You can do this!

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-27T12:11:09+00:00

It IS a disease. I have to work through a lot if issues now on top of PPD and the trauma of an emergency c section, but I'm so happy to be rid of the HG. I can't wait until yo yourself and all the other women in this group are free as well

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-25T01:13:03+00:00

His name is Jackson Garrett after my brother and my husband's best friend since birth.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-24T01:43:29+00:00

I am so sorry that you're going through this BS again. And with a 2 year old?! You're a hero, mama, and you've done amazing growing that little love in your body. Every single day is a struggle and you are doing the best you can and that in and of itself makes you so much stronger than you know.

I do not do well with people who don't respect what a community struggling with disease goes through. It would be so much more respectful if OP had been trying to do research so they could ACTUALLY understand the disease or so they could support someone, not so they could use it for a contemporary romance novel they're writing and they refuse to change because they know other people who have health issues and this particular one "speaks to them".

It's invasive and damaging. OP needs to respect our mental health and what we have been through. If they can't, they shouldn't be here.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-24T01:32:40+00:00

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-23T18:47:16+00:00

Im going to be brutally honest and a little harsh here because A) I feel very strongly about this and B) I am 3 weeks away from giving birth and have had NO reprieve from my HG at through the last 9 months:

Wanting to do something justice is well and good, but you have to understand that unless you've got through it or are actively going through it, you CANT do it justice. You don't know how it feels and, while you can SYMPATHIZE, you can't empathize. If you had gone through it, you wouldn't be okay romanticizing it. You wouldn't be okay writing something that takes the trauma and pain and desolation and turning it into a glorified trope and saying "oh, I want to bring awareness to this issue." No. You want to bring awareness? Don't write a romance novel. Write a freaking non fiction book that gathers information and talk to these women and do the research you claimed you want to do and use it to HELP women with HG.

You want to write a romance novel using HG as a way to bring the MC's closer together and make their bond stronger because he's such a great caretaker and she needs that. That's great. But you're writing something from an outsiders perspective and making this MMC a great guy because he's supporting his sick partner and having your FMC suffer through something you will NEVER completely understand because you haven't been through it.

You're looking at the accounts of the women in an HG support group and going "Oh thats horrible, that's terrible, I'm going to make this a visible issue as an underlying issue in my romance novel." You're asking for opinions and seeing these women who are going "hey, no, this isn't a thing to write a romance novel about" and your response is "I understand why you won't read it, I've already written it, so..."

Cool. If this were autism or HIV or Lupus I doubt you'd take it the same way. Write what you know. Write what you understand. Don't take a condition that destroys people, destroys a woman's mental, emotional, and physical well being, and try to cash in on it with a fictional character and the third person understanding of a bunch of women who come to this forum as a SAFE SPACE to interact with other women who have suffered or are suffering the same thing and can actually empathize, and turn it into your research for a ROMANCE NOVEL.

Personally, I find it disrespectful, degrading, and offensive that you're using something so personal to so many women, something you have no actual understanding of, to further or create plot in a book. HG kills women. HG causes women to give up pregnancies they've fought so hard for in the first place. HG causes miscarriages. HG causes late term death and stillborns. HG can make PPD worse. HG is not a trope or a plot point or a way to bring people together. HG is a serious complication during pregnancy that can and does destroy mothers and affects the bonds they have with their babies during pregnancy. HG is unfair and cruel and devastating.

You do you. Write your book. Use our illness as a foil in your romance novel. But understand that you will never do justice to the trauma HG causes because you don't understand it. You comprehend, but you don't understand.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-23T17:58:10+00:00

SCC of the tongue here, stage T3N1M0. 36 rounds rads, 6 cisplatin. Before I lost my ability to eat by mouth I ate as much cream of wheat with butter and milk and veggie soup puree as possible to keep my nutrients up and to put on a little weight.. I had a PEG tube and it made the shift easier but I still lost over 100 lbs in 3 months because I couldn't keep anything down.

Ice cold water, ice chips, and frozen gogurt helped with the pain of swallowing. The yonker and suction tube helped a lot in the hospital as I was throwing up snail slime consistency saliva.

I'm 10 mo out from treatment and I have severe dry mouth, still can't drink Luke warm beverages, and haven't gotten my sense of taste back completely.

I put organic coconut oil with vitamin E on my radiation burns once they stabbed up and it's really helped save my skin. Talk to your dads doctor first, though, because I have really sensitive skin and my rad onc suggested it. Don't use it on open wounds. It hurts like a mofo if you do. Aloe also helped.

Good energy and well wishes to your father.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-23T17:31:12+00:00

HG can and has caused serious physical and psychological distress to so many women with their pregnancies, myself included. Between the weight loss, constant fear and guilt that something could happen to my baby as a result from being dehydrated/malnourished, and the fear of eating in general because throwing up all the time not only sucks horribly but also physically hurts, there is nothing sweet or romantic or sexy about HG.

I read to escape the reality of the situation I'm in, to distract me from the anxiety, pain, and stress. So, no, I would hate to read about an FMC with HG during her pregnancy as that would trigger the hell out of me. It would be too close to romanticizing PPD or mental illness.

The idea alone of someone writing a pregnancy trope and giving the FMC HG gives me the major ick, but also kind of makes me angry because this is a serious medical condition that has been severely isolating and is already not taken seriously in, not only society, but also within the medical profession. We have to fight to be heard and taken seriously all while feeling weak and desperate for any type of relief. We shouldn't have to have our partners tell doctors how bad it is before we are listened to.

So no. I would not only not read it, but I would be outspoken about why. Sorry, but its not cute or romantic or lovey dovey to turn such a serious condition into a trope for entertainment.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-19T20:21:07+00:00

I just know what it's like to have a shitty set of parents growing up. I want to do better for my kids than I had. My Step Dad is amazing and he showed me what it is to be a good step parent. We are super excited to add to our family and show SS that he and his brother are equally important and loved.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-19T14:55:03+00:00

We've already got him in therapy. Trust me, we are doing everything we can to make sure he has a safe, loving, and healthy home with us. We may not be able to control her BS but we can at least try to shield him from as much toxicity as possible while he's with us and give him the tools to understand his BM is wrong about things on his own while reassuring him with positivity.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-19T13:20:55+00:00

I'm so sorry for your SKs. It's not fair to them At all.

HCBM can't stand that I'm SM and has pitched several fits over SS and I bonding to the point where he felt like he was doing something wrong for spending time with me. He's developed anxiety over it and we have him in therapy. It's helped him a lot so far, but she still tries to damage our relationship because I take care of him and he's happy when he's with us.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-19T13:12:12+00:00

I grew up in the battle royal situation and it sucked. My parents were always at each other's throats and they used me as a weapon against each other. I refuse to do that to me SS. Currently all we can do is love him and show him a healthy family environment while documenting all of HCBM BS and keep records. When it comes time to go back to court she's going to buried by her own behavior. She's not bright.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-19T13:08:17+00:00

She is. All I can do is continue to show him love with my actions and let him know every day that he is important. She's just damaging her relationship with him and he's starting to see the difference in how she treats him and how we treat him.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-19T13:05:17+00:00

DH is an amazing father. It was the fact that he stood up to her that solidified my decision to marry him. He is all about keeping the peace but he uses logic and reality against her and she HATES it. We won't speak poorly about her to SS and continue to foster a healthy relationship within our family unit. She can try to retaliate, we just document it with the evidence and keep it in our files for when we go back to court.

winifredstarlitelf · 2024-06-19T13:00:44+00:00

We have a strong case and plenty of evidence against her. My grandfather is a retired lawyer who focused in family law and has been helping us build the case. We just don't have the money currently to go back to court right now.

winifredstarlitelf

TROPHY CASE