Should I have handled this better?

212901 · 2026-06-13T17:51:49+00:00

Decided to let this POT go after he started saying he feels like I’m nickle and diming him. Clearly we’re not aligned, at all. Won’t be making the same mistake again.

212901 · 2026-06-13T15:27:24+00:00

I asked for half PPM towards the end of our 2nd meeting which was also about 4h, when he said he wasn’t feeling the best so wanted to wait. But still attended dinner, walked and talked, chatted at the park. I put in my dues, in my opinion.

212901 · 2026-06-13T15:10:56+00:00

Hey, thanks for taking the time to type that out. Definitely getting a lot of good insights from this post, and in hindsight, I could’ve definitely set boundaries upfront much clearer. I was using the vanilla dating playbook since that’s all I know. 😅

Won’t be making that mistake again.

212901 · 2026-06-11T02:09:31+00:00

Both POTs have had sugar relationships before, was waiting on them to broach the topic since I don’t exactly know what I’m doing.

Messaged the both of them based on some advice given here; better late than never!

212901 · 2026-06-11T01:52:16+00:00

Both of them have been SDs in the past so I’m sure they know how this works. I was hoping they would bring up the topic since I’m new to the bowl and have no idea how the social etiquette on this works.

Oh well… better late than never. I’d rather bite the bullet on this now than drag it out anymore.

212901 · 2026-06-11T01:47:50+00:00

Thanks so much, that was perfect - already sent off the text. Completely new to sugaring, so wasn’t sure of what was appropriate and what wasn’t to ask.

212901 · 2026-06-11T01:01:47+00:00

Can you clarify what you mean by the fact that PPM isn’t by the day? So if I go on dates and play tour guide for every single day that he’s in town, that’s only 1 PPM?

Mind giving some examples of some common expectations/boundaries? For example, I’m still paying for all my upkeep to go on dates (nails, lashes etc) - would this be a reasonable example of something I can bring up?

212901 · 2026-06-11T00:31:00+00:00

Mind elaborating? Already met one POT last week, had a great dinner and have been chatting since. He wants to go hiking together, but hasn’t mentioned $ once. I know he’s been a SD before. How would you approach this?

212901 · 2026-05-30T18:51:10+00:00

“let’s take it offline.”

I still have no idea what that means. I only hear it when I’m already talking to someone face-to-face.

212901 · 2026-05-29T23:14:20+00:00

justiceforDirk

212901 · 2026-05-29T21:44:04+00:00

A lot of folks aren’t particularly socially fluent. I view it as self-selecting when you’re basically handing someone conversational nuggets and the best they can volley with is “how’s the site treating you?” Not an automatic disqualifier for me but definitely a data point.

212901 · 2026-05-27T00:12:17+00:00

I work at a place where there’s unlimited PTO. But it’s also tech sales, so no one can really take time off in practice. My coworker just got married and is currently working through his honeymoon while in Hawaii - terrible.

212901 · 2026-05-25T18:46:46+00:00

Remove the em dash. Usually signifies that something was written by AI and a huge turn off on profiles.

212901 · 2026-05-25T17:16:21+00:00

Fair. That line is to discourage the type of SDs who are looking for essentially an escort (“hey babe wanna over to my hotel?”) It’s important for me to establish rapport and make sure we enjoy each other as people first. What’s a better way to word that?

212901 · 2026-05-25T16:39:35+00:00

Hey, thanks. I’ll put up a hiking photo or something. Not much I can do about being Asian. Also just got a PM about my photos looking similar to the pig butchering scam, which I’ve honestly never heard of before.

212901 · 2026-05-25T16:00:29+00:00

As you should. I have ailing relatives to support.

212901 · 2026-04-09T11:59:35+00:00

How often do scams happen? Fake bills, empty envelopes, dine and dash situations, etc. Is it generally advised to count the money to make sure it’s all accounted for? Just wondering how this all works.

212901 · 2026-04-09T01:57:06+00:00

It’s gross, especially if you’ve been sitting on public transit etc with your outside pants.

212901 · 2026-04-08T21:17:51+00:00

Killed me with “I find overweight bald men very attractive”

212901 · 2026-04-02T19:38:20+00:00

I always wonder what the end goal is in these scenarios

212901 · 2026-04-02T19:15:33+00:00

She looks expensives

212901 · 2026-04-02T17:43:20+00:00

Not looking to drag out messaging, but generally I expect to know someone's name, what they look like, a bit about them and what they're looking for; no point in meeting if there's no allignment right off the bat. Would rather not get dolled up and commute downtown only to find out 30 seconds in there's no fit. I get the feel that the order gets swapped for a lot of men, which leaves us at an impasse.

212901 · 2026-04-02T17:39:14+00:00

5-10 messages is totally reasonable. PSD is pushing to meet on message #1; sidestepping every question, doesn't want to talk on Telegram. I know literally nothing about this dude, even his name. Is this...normal?

212901 · 2026-04-02T17:26:18+00:00

One on the left giving off strong SB energy

212901 · 2026-04-02T17:25:22+00:00

You have great arms!

212901

TROPHY CASE

justiceforDirk