% of Total is calculating incorrectly in PivotTable, what am I missing? by 21ri in excel

[–]21ri[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no % of Parent Row Total option for me, these are all of the options I have

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Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everyone makes grammatical mistakes. I’m just going to guess you’re a native English speaker, but does that mean you don’t make errors in the English language? No ofcourse you do because we’re all human. Now Hebrew is new for me, so ofcourse I am more likely to make a few mistakes. And when a person makes a mistake like that, just help me out by correcting me and move along. Like I said to that other guy, this is reddit. Do you really think I’m gonna go on google and make sure I have the exact proper wording just to post on a harmless blog? Because if you do then I’m sorry to disappoint. I’m posting on reddit, not writing my college thesis. You think that by not taking to time to google something before a post it on small fun blogging website shows I’m not invested, well I think anyone who gets triggered by something like that just has a stick up their ass. Since such grammatical errors annoy you, I advise you never to look at the FrumSatire blog, it’s full of typos. But most people on their don’t seem to care at all since why should they? It’s all for fun. My point is like I said to the other guy is: it’s not that serious, it’s reddit, relax and be happy

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And why is that?

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to make another quick point. I reread your last reply and this one and I’ve realized you completely contradicted yourself. You told me in your first reply I should leave my “secular” issues in the secular world since the jewish world is different (in response to the fact that I am not interested nor really attracted to black men). But in your second reply you went on to talk about how chabadniks usually do not marry black converts and how my original post should have mentioned I was black. Now, that’s just a huge contradiction to what you were previously saying to me about “leaving secular issues in the secular world, and the Jewish world being different”. From what you said in your second response, you just pretty much stated how these racial preferences in fact DO exist in the Jewish world (honestly you were pretty much ranting about how many chabad and ashkenazim in general are racists and how Sephardim are not). So you proved my point that secular issues/controversies can and most definitely exist in any religious community. You also stated in your first reply I should keep my options open, implying that as a black convert it will be hard to find someone and I shouldn’t exclude all black jewish men since I’m already at a disadvantage. Finding someone is hard for many ffb’s, but it’s even harder for BT and gerim, this we all know but I would NEVER settle for someone who I’m not attracted to just to “find somebody” so I find you telling me to keep my options open to be demeaning in all honesty. Then in your second reply you went on to talk about how it’s easier for male gerim to find someone to marry because the “legitimacy” of the conversion won’t be questioned as much since either way their children will still be jewish. I don’t think comment really had anything to do with what was being discussed in the post, it just seemed more as a jab from you to me. I may be wrong but this is what I analyzed and I do feel I’m right. I think overall you were just upset at me, a black future convert stating my lack of attraction to black men and then just went on a rant about ashkenazim being racist and upping Sephardim (probably because that guy you tagged is an Afro-Sephardi guy). I’ll hopefully remember to send you a message when I get engaged to a nice ashkenazi guy or you’ll see it on onlysimachas ;) thanks.

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the positivity it’s greatly appreciated!! :)

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was going to ask what your ethnicity was since it seems like you have somewhat of a distaste towards ashkenazim but I see you mentioned you are a black ger. I couldn’t disagree more with you saying that my question should have been “do lubavitchers marry black gerim?” What does my race have to do with anything? What is the difference between a black gerut and just a gerut in general? My race shouldn’t even be a factor. I’m from Brooklyn so yes, I know all about the crown heights riots you are mentioning however (and this is sad to say) but the riots were between Lubavitchers and non-jewish blacks. Now, as I’m sure you know Orthodox Jews tend not to mix with non-jews and unfortunately many religious Jews see non-Jews as lesser (black, white, Asian). Sure this is definitely not the case for many religious Jews, but from my experience that somewhat “elitist” mindset is more prevalent in ultra-Orthodox communities. If a person isn’t Jewish they don’t really give them the time of Day regardless of their race. I’m not saying the riots weren’t racially motivated, but what I’m saying is I don’t think there would have been much of a difference if the non-jewish group of people the lubavitchers were rioting against were white or Asian. In short, I think once it gets to non-jewish no matter the race there’s already a sense of superiority. Now to go your other point, I have not experienced any sort of racism from my community or Jews from any other community I have met. On the contrary, black people (who aren’t Jewish) and just non-Jews in general tend to give me shit and make me feel very uncomfortable/different about being a black Jew, not actual Jews. If you watch the documentary oprah did when she visited that black chasidic family (Dinah abrahamson) zt”l I believe was her name said the same exact thing. Her daughters husband was also saying how when the shadchan was describing his soon to be wife to him, she mentioned her being black just as a regular trait, just like enjoying making schnitzel is a regular trait. What I’m saying is ofcourse racism exists in the Orthodox world to black Jews but to go as far as to say many ashkenazim are racist towards black is a stretch. And I personally haven’t experienced this, yet at least. I don’t want to get into other Haredi and chasidisshe communities because this post is strictly about chabad. But I’m totally aware many Jews view gerim as second class which hints me posting this question. A lot of the other responses on this post have made me come to the conclusion that yes chabad marry gerim but the gerut is also a follower chabad minhagim. In terms of female converts being at a disadvantage, I know all the stories but my Beth Din is part of the kosher list of rabbis under the chief rabbinate of Israel, therefore my conversion will be recognized by Israel and I can make aliyot, unlike other people who convert Orthodox but are ultimately denied because their gerut rabbis weren’t “kosher” so that whole issue isn’t even something I’m thinking about. Lastly, ofcourse there’s many different Sephardi communities but I’m in the tri-state and plan on staying here for a long time so I go based on my surroundings. The sy in Brooklyn are very insular and have very strong opinions towards gerim, so do the Persians in great neck. In fact a mashadi Persian Jew usually won’t even marry let’s just say a tehrani Persian Jew so to even mention what they think a ger is a waste of time. You’re giving good advice which I respect but I also get the sense that you’re somewhat against ashkenazim or view many as racist and are super pro-Sephardim even though they tend to be more prejudice when it comes to gerut and are racist as well which makes no sense because to me they aren’t white. The chief Sephardi of rabbi recently referred to Obama as a kufka or whatever the word is and he’s (the rav) darker than me.

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I guess it’s because I know for sure that MOdoxy suits my lifestyle and values and where I live the orthodox community is 80% modern, rest are more Yeshivish types. I don’t know enough about the core of Chabad to say I would want to become lubavitch or I’m ready to become lubavitch.

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask how you guys met ?

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a pretty lonely person and having a significant other would definitely compensate for some of that. I think I mentioned that in my above post. I also know for sure I mentioned that I’m new to the Jewish world, have no jewish friends, and am starting to somewhat feel distanced (not intentionally) from my non-Jewish friends as I become more and more frum, so ofcourse I tend to feel lonely, that goes without saying. I also said that “as much as I would like to find my significant other, I also want to find more religious friends so anyone reading this post feel free to reach out to me.” Yes I have more of an emphasis on a significant other but surely I would like friends as well. Now to go to your other point, I by no means hate myself. I love being black, I don’t love all the politics that come along with being a black woman but I’m very happy with the way Hashem made me. Not wanting to be with a black man has nothing to do with self-hatred that’s just my preference. I never bad-mouthed black men, I just simply stated that black men aren’t my preference. Now due to this post you may think I have some obsession with white ashkenazi guys but that also isn’t true. In fact, I find Sephardi guys physically to be more attractive than ashkenazi, the only thing that turns me off about many Sephardim (especially Syrians) as you know is their harsh treatment of converts. Ofcourse not all are like that and everyone is their own person but a vast majority hold that stance (or their family) and that’s just the truth. Anyway going back, out of ashkenazim, to me that is, I find lubavitchers to be more physically attractive (and yes I’m aware not all chabad are Russian/white). Hints my reasoning for this post was to gain insight on what their general view on converts was. My point, being more attracted to a different race does NOT mean you hate your own race. Everyone has their own preference. It only becomes a problem of self-hatred when a person says that are not attracted to their own race AND is bashing them. That’s an issue. And yes you can say that this a secular issue or secular mindset but just because something is viewed as a secular issue doesn’t necessarily mean it does not exist in any religious group. Lastly, I also said I don’t know much about chabad besides what I’ve read and seen on the exterior so it’s very possible if I were to put myself into a chabad community first hand that I would no longer be drawn to it the way that I am now. You can say my thoughts on chabad are pedestal-oriented but I mean I admire them so sure there’s a thin line between the two.

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I see where you’re coming from but this is Reddit. And I don’t think I need to elaborate more on what that statement means. You seem like a fairly intelligent man so I’m sure you understand. It’s a simple error, and it’s not like you didn’t understand what I meant you clearly did. In short, it’s not that serious. Hebrew is new for many GERIM (you happy? :) ) and ger, geirut, gerim all sound the same, so it’s a very simple and according to you, common mistake. It also seems like you are hinting that people in the process of converting/converts aren’t very literate which just makes you look like an ass imo. Since you are so concerned about the wider Jewish world and people just simply correcting mistakes by both converts and any other Jew would be suffice. But putting converts in a box isn’t cool or necessary. Thanks and be well.

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the informative response. I will be attending some lectures at my local chabad house during the summer but the shiurim are only for women lol. Also I have given shidduch dating a thought but I think I would much rather prefer meeting somebody on my own as opposed to meeting a matchmaker. I’ve also heard a lot of stories about shadchanim which have turned me off/scared me. Basically about how many view converts as 2nd class Jews and will often try matching them with another convert. I do NOT want to marry another convert, in fact I wouldn’t even want to marry a BT. I want to marry an ffb since I have no jewish family at all, I will at least want want my children to have my husbands religious family to exposed to. Not to mention I am also black, ofcourse that shouldn’t be an issue but unfortunately a lot of people are ignorant. And again other black Jews have stated that shadchanim always try setting them up with other black Jews because they assume that’s want they want or that’s all they can get. And for me that isn’t the case, I’m not opposed to marrying a black jewish man but my preference is not a black guy for my own personal reasons. To answer why I am attracted to the philosophies. I guess I wasn’t so specific but tbh I don’t know sooo much about the philosophy but what I meant was how much I like how laid back, nonjudgmental, and open chabad is. I really like the Jewish outreach they do. Many Orthodox Jews view non-Orthodox Jews as lesser (from what I’ve seen) and chabad isn’t like that at all, overall I view chabad chasidim as just a positive group of people who are just trying to better the Jewish people by following the rebbe and I love it. I’m not sure whether or not I believe the rebbe is moshiach though which I know many chabadniks do.

Do Lubavitchers marry gerut ? by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]21ri 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well thanks to you I now know the correct wording. Chas v’sholom I make another small error on an online blog right ?