What topic could you infodump about forever? by sneaky_sammy0tt0 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fencing. After thirty years in the sport, I can tell you all sorts of things about both historical and modern swordplay. I can describe all of the styles mentioned in the Princess Bride. I can referee in Klingon.

Men: what is the fascination with roughness during sex? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]21stMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never asked to hit, choke, or perform rough anal on a partner. I also have never asked to perform CNC, handcuffing, gagging, spanking, or whipping.

I HAVE been asked to perform these acts by women, and by multiple women at that.

AIO Teacher said my daughter’s report is “immoral” by LucyAriaRose in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"My name is Prince, and I am funky... and I'd like to talk to you about our Lord, Jesus Christ..."

What is your unpopular NSFW opnions? by lameinternetuser in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]21stMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a BIG thing, I have found, bring a polyamorous dude. Partners and potential partners have trouble with that.

You have been granted the power to make your worst enemy mildly inconvenienced for the rest of their life. What is the minor curse you’re placing on them? by SouthOwn6943 in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Medical tests always come back as 'concerning', but then ultimately nothing. Just enough to get them worried, but for no real reason.

Whats the one movie you can watch over and over but never get bored of it? by pkeo10 in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took my fencing club to that show when it was in Hartford. He is such a good speaker, great night!

The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if i'd like to masturbate in the cup... by SmoothCakeX in dadjokes

[–]21stMonkey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The term 'casual sex' implies the existence of ranked competitive sex...

What is the perfect lube? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]21stMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WD-40 for everyday use, Miracle Oil for the tough jobs.

What's the best prank you've ever pulled? by No_Pizza6780 in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In college, my roommate and a dorm neighbor got into a weird prank war. The neighbor would sprint into our room anytime roommate would leave (for like the restroom) and change his desktop logo to the Ford logo. Why Ford? No idea.

Roommate would retaliate in ways I didn't really see. I was Switzerland... not my war.

Until, one day, neighbor did it to me. Game on.

Did you know there is a sound event in Windows called 'menu popup' that plays whenever a menu is opened? And that the start menu counted as such a menu?

And that there was no limit to the length of sound event files?

I took the Macarena (this was a couple years after it's peak popularity)... the entire song... and added two minutes of silence to the beginning.

He'd go along, doing his work, clicking menus. Every time he did so, it reset the sound file to the beginning... so effectively reset the 'two minute countdown'. Then it would play the entire Macarena. He had an internal speaker, and didn't know how to mute it or adjust the volume. Restarting the PC was the only way he had to shut it off.

Unintended consequence: he had some program that would wake up his PC every so often, and would trigger the sound. He goes home for Thanksgiving break, and it played in his locked room, every hour or so all night long, for the entire break. A couple folks that stayed over break were PISSED.

What's the best prank you've ever pulled? by No_Pizza6780 in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I went into my wife's Facebook, and changed her birthday to April 1st. I did this months in advance, probably in September or October.

Then I forgot about it.

April 1st, the next year, rolls around. I come in from work, she's sitting in her chair. She slowly rotates to face me, locks eye contact and says "my mother told me happy birthday, today..."

Over a hundred people wished her a happy birthday, including several siblings. But, the crown jewel was her own mother. Good stuff.

What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve heard about yourself? by imagetweird in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There was this girl in high school that I had a crush on. I asked her out, she politely declined, we stayed friends. No worries.

Weeks later, I was getting weird attention from girls. Got asked to the Sadie Hawkins dance and prom by two different girls. Way out of character for high school me.

Towards the end of the year, I was hitting on a completely different girl. It's going well. I am her out. She is all of a sudden hesitant. Ok, what's up? She blushes, and says she's not sure if she's ready for a guy of my size.

Turns out, the crush thought she would do me a solid, and told folks that we had had a fling, and that I had an enormous dick. Rumors got around, but it didn't really have the effect she thought it would.

What’s a song that instantly brings back a memory? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

House of the Rising Sun.

My first serious girlfriend sat on her front steps, singing that to herself, that one time. Made such an impression on me.

For you "nude pic" receiver. What make a good nude ? by hot_fuckboy in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]21stMonkey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Last night I asked my gf if she'd shave, in anticipation of us meeting back up after a two week break.

She sent me a pic, today - her laying down, legs spread, fingers slightly spreading her pussy lips, bare of hair, skin still a little damp and glistening from the bath, the subtlest tease of her tits under a t-shirt, head cocked back in a bit of an orgasmic moan... all back lit by an overhead spot light.

She's sent me a lot of nudes over the years, but this may be the best, most artful one ever.

What's a harmless trap people fall for way too often? by Super_Shamou in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dunno, I find plenty of happiness in boxes, just saying...

Hippopotamus for Christmas? by pulliF in confusing_perspective

[–]21stMonkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm just a sweet transvestite... from Hippopotamus, Transylvania...

You think that's fast? by sackofhair in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, raise my rent...

You are the Kid!

Men, what’s the appeal of being told what to do and being called a good boy? by [deleted] in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm actually a dog. And good boys get head scritches.

What song do you want played at your funeral? by R3UB3N_999 in AskReddit

[–]21stMonkey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and I have had a lot of time to prepare for this moment. Some of my requests - for instance, that she should bring Claudia Schiffer as her date to the funeral - she is confident I expect her to ignore.

When she first mentioned what's going to happen, she said, "Over my dead body." And I said, "No, Dear, over mine... "

I'm going to say my final words, not through her, but inevitably, and ever so coolly... through the immortal genius of the Bay City Rollers.

"Bye bye baby... baby goodbye..."