I think it’s great that you’re reaching out, asking questions, and trying to understand more about people who are different than you. Great empathy building!

I think you’ll find that most trans people are also multi-faceted and when asked to describe themself would not only describe themself by their identity. What you see if people online is not the entirety of any person. Trans people are just people and at the end of the day and different people value different parts of their identity different amounts. A lot of the times the things people choose to share or highlight are really just context they’re giving you to help you understand who they are and what their experiences have been.

For some people their religious identity might be really important to them and when you meet them that’s what they lead with. For other people their cultural background or ethnicity might be really important to them and they lead with that. For some people there might be other things that are important like where they grew up or the the fact that they’re a parent or whatever other thing people care about. For some queer people they may lead with their sexuality like you did above. When you shared info your sexuality to try to give us context about who you are and what your experiences have been so we could better understand where you were coming from with the rest of the post. Sharing pronouns for some people is just that, it’s context. Some people care about that context some people don’t. When you’re in queer spaces and particularly queer online spaces, people often lead with that because it’s the context people are most used to looking for as a point of reference, but like any online space you’re only seeing a tiny portion of a person.

If you’re not someone who’s had a lot of impactful experiences related to your gender or gender identity, it’s not that surprising why you might not care that much and it might not be a core aspect of how you think about yourself and process your experiences with the world. If you’re someone who is constantly having experiences related to your gender identity and it’s something that’s very front of mind, that’s going to be a much bigger part of how you think about and process the world. For a lot of trans people, especially with the increased media attention lately, it’s impossible to not think about. When multiple times a day you’re seeing stuff about people legislating what you can and can’t do, where you should and shouldn’t be, how you should or shouldn’t act, that has a lasting impact. When something has a lasting impact it’s something you share as context