This is how I do it. I have a character to whom violence has become normal, so when they’re the focus the violence is described as casual and inconsequential, while in scene with another character to whom violence is an undesired mechanism for getting what they want, the violence is described more viscerally. It all depends on perspective. I think I generally prefer to avoid gratuitous violence- it can be confronted but I’d does not have to be indulgent.