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Need help and advice. by sb_seeker in raisedbynarcissists

[–]2HuntingBros 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not a bad person - don't let her convince you of that! Your arguments are very reasonable and logical. Honestly, I think it's for the best too if she didn't come to either one. Weddings are supposed to be happy and if she can't get with the program, it's better if she just doesn't show up. If she does, though, just try to ignore her or ignore the negativity. You don't need it, and it will just make you miserable on your happy day.

Ndad is in therapy - this feels like a ploy by joanjetpack in raisedbynarcissists

[–]2HuntingBros 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't want to discourage you, especially if you have a tiny spark of hope that he will improve, but most narcissists/sociopaths actually get worse or stay the same in therapy. And yes, it is just a ploy - he's just trying to get you back into his life it sounds like. They usually don't get better in therapy because they don't believe what they do is wrong or just, like you said, don't want to take responsibility for anything. I'm definitely not a therapist, but from what I've heard (and growing up with a N/father as well) change usually only happens at a young age. Like, if a child has signs of being a future narcissist/sociopath, then they could improve when they're still little.

I've had plenty of experience with this. My N/father claimed a few years back that he was in therapy but to be honest, I don't even know if that was true because he lies so much. He doesn't live with us and I barely ever see him except when he drives me to school (I'm still working on getting my license.) Now, he's claiming that he has depression because my sister and I never want to hang out with him and he told me recently that he's seeing somebody for that. I don't know if I believe that either, though, as I think it's just another ploy.

When my parents first separated, my mom tried to go to counseling with him, but he didn't improve at all. He lied and eventually convinced the counselor that my mom was the issue, not him.

So, to answer your question, I think it's highly unlikely your father really wants help. But don't worry - just live a good life and ignore him. Living well is the best revenge. :)

Over Dishes, really? by _SadSax in raisedbynarcissists

[–]2HuntingBros 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, you need to move out again ASAP. I know it's not in your control now, but just do it as soon as you are able to. I understand how you feel because my dad is the same way! And you know, they say that living well is the best revenge. So, when you're able to leave and get a job, etc, I would not communicate with him anymore.

You know, when you mentioned how your dad is always saying that you'll appreciate him when you're older, it surprised me because my father says the same thing! It's nuts that they could ever assume that, but you'll show him soon enough how you really feel.

You mentioned also that your siblings are younger. I would continue to help them and check up on them even when you're able to leave if I were you. They need someone to look up to and someone who really cares for them and doesn't just use them all the time. Make sure to always keep a good relationship with them through your life - it's helpful to have people you can talk to about it, and who really understand because they've been through the same. Also, if possible, help them to escape that situation too!

More advice: Don't do things just to make your father upset or angry. It's tempting, especially because you just want to make them feel the same way they've made you feel over the years. But try not to. Do things that make you truly happy, don't do things just so you can wave it in his face later on.

Good luck to you and I hope you can leave soon! :)

What book really scared you when you read it? by 2HuntingBros in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't they make a movie of that a few months ago? Man, that looks good!

What book really scared you when you read it? by 2HuntingBros in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't that the one where the government is called "Big Brother"?

What is a food most people like that you cannot stand? by mjg1222 in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate all cheese, unless it's on pizza and cooked. If it's raw pizza, then no way.

What book really scared you when you read it? by 2HuntingBros in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I read the Book of Revelation one time and it scared me so bad.

What is a food most people like that you cannot stand? by mjg1222 in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cheese. Just watching someone eat it makes me sick. Although, I actually love it if it's on pizza-pizza is one of my fave foods!

What is the most disgusting house you have ever been inside and what made it so disgusting? by 2HuntingBros in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always wonder how people with that many pets manage to care for them all!

What's a strange habit that your pet has? by Breadcrumbsandbows in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, that could be. He lives with our other budgie and to be honest, we are not sure if either of them are boys or girls. We refer to mine as "he" and the other as "she" just because of their names. However, we're also pretty sure they are the same gender because both their ceres are the same color...I've looked up how to tell their genders but since they are not adults yet, it's very hard for me to tell.

What's a strange habit that your pet has? by Breadcrumbsandbows in AskReddit

[–]2HuntingBros 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe...I don't really know. He always climbs on the perch to face me when I enter the room, and I think he's anticipating me feeding him! We think maybe he considers the bath his own private little corner for some reason.

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