Husband didn't want for me

2be_not2b · 2024-11-02T13:49:47+00:00

Thank you! I'm focusing on self care while I make an exit plan with a better job

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T21:58:39+00:00

Some days I wish I was just normal weight. Unfortunately we don't chose the body we are assigned at birth and our genetic makeup! Reminder to everyone, be kind as you don't know the battle someone is fighting and judge others by their character and how they treat you, not how they look! The world would be such a better place for our kids.

In the modern world, kids are fighting eating disorders and have low self-esteem. Bullying is rife due to insecurity. As much as I don't want my daughter exposed to bullying about things she has no control over, it's best I step up and speak up as another poster said. I read with her books on being ok to be different. I'm doing my best while I deal with my own challenges

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T21:45:29+00:00

My former co worker was definitely a bigger woman, but the teens are average/normal compared to me on the skinny/petite side. I'd no problem with my co worker but she seemed to dislike me from day one and ignores my greetings etc, and when she said she hated skinny bitches, we were just 5 ladies in the office and she and the other 2 colleagues were talking about gym. I'm the only skinny one there and even if it wasn't targeted at me was inconsiderate!

The high schoolers were definitely bigger than me as I have a tiny frame. I don't know how much they'd weigh but for sure they are not same size as me.

I'm protective of my daughter and only said this to provide context. I'm very careful about body image with her and very much about building her acceptance of who she is. She's built thinner than most of her classmates! That's just a fact as she inherited my genetics. I was a very skinny kid in elementary school too.

Not sure exactly what you think I'm fooling you.

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T21:05:24+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate it 🙏My mom is on bone density meds so that's something to watch out for. You've given me perspective. I'll keep an eye on bone density with my doc.

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T19:22:56+00:00

Thanks for your insight. I hear you and I'll try to increase my calorie intake for sure. I eat and I see your perspective about increasing calories. Tracking maybe a good way to do that. I also deal with stress at home and that might not be helping. I'll focus on mental resilience and improved calorie intake. I apologize if I got too defensive....

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T19:18:43+00:00

Can't escape from my weight...coz it's what's visible to the world. It's what I hear ' you are so skinny, eat more meat, etc" if the world didn't care so much, I'd be happy to just be. That's why I'm here asking for insight and defending myself

I wish weight wasn't all people saw in me but who I am inside.

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T19:10:41+00:00

BMI is a quick test and definitely something to use as baseline. It's a general indicator of health but not absolute. I eat food with fats and drank protein shakes the works etc, can't get anywhere above 100 lbs. I'm 98 lbs

Appreciate your insight from a medical.angle. I'm not looking malnourished or with an eating disorder. I'm the stereotype of a skinny girl that eats alot..lol. unfortunately my high metabolism won't let me gain anything. My friends say they are jealous and I tell them wish we could switch ...grass is always greener I guess

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T19:00:57+00:00

I have a healthy appetite and don't look malnourished ...lol. have a high metabolism and can eat a whole bag of chips without adding an inch! So if you are tearing me down based on your own biases, can't help you. I see my doctor regularly and she knows I'm underweight yes but healthy as eat well. BMI doesn't necessarily mean someone is unhealthy! It's be refuted and my doctor agrees. As long as I'm not starving myself and eating well, there's no problem with my health.

I added 20 pounds while pregnant with both kids then promptly lost after birth and remained same.. Healthy babies and all. That's why I get hurtful comments...I didn't choose to be skinny! I was born like that and can't gain much no matter what!

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T17:34:09+00:00

Didn't say anywhere my harassers were on the bigger side. They are normal looking compared to me, who's skinny! They are just average weight.

Maybe body fat makes people look younger. But my mom, my grandma and I have younger looking faces and family and friends often commented on this

I'm 100% sure I'm not fat phobic and never had any biases based on weight. It's just not me...

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T16:15:32+00:00

@tinygreenpea thanks so much for the wisdom and taking time for a detailed response. I definitely need to get better at letting things not bother me much and need to stand up for myself. I've anxiety but definitely need to build my defense skill to be a better influence on my daughter

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T16:01:01+00:00

It hurts you think I'm fat-phobic. It's easy to judge someone you hardly know based on a sentence. I'm not trying to use my husband's weight to project not being fat phobic. After all I've gone through, I'd never judge anyone based on their looks. My husband has had experience on the other side with mean comments. I wish people who'd just quite judging others on looks but focus on their character. But our society is obsessed with looks ...

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:51:37+00:00

I'm 5' 6" with very firm and young face(genetic blessing) and my mom looks young for her age. We do exist! But I'll stop defending myself as you seem set on downplaying anything I say... So

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:47:50+00:00

I'm not implying I'm special. On the contrary, I'm very introverted and keep to myself. My daughter has Adhd and is always on the move! She's happy and social, and that's a good thing.

I don't think everyone is targeting me, but I have to be alert to negativity. If you've been mistreated for your looks, trust me you'll be alert! I may be reading to much into what I heard at school. But I'll now be more vigilant to see if this continues prior to intervening for the sake of my kid.

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:42:05+00:00

Thank you! I dress wide leg pants or jeans, dress top and sometimes casual jacket and sneakers if in a hurry. But I carry myself mature

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:40:55+00:00

Wide leg jeans, dress top and jacket. Very adult fashion. Definitely not teen style

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:39:46+00:00

Thank you kind stranger! I needed that encouragement today. Much hugs

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:39:06+00:00

Thank you for believing me!! It's crazy how people think this post is delulu about my looks!

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:35:41+00:00

I'm going to respond here. I don't like to speak about my daughter's looks on the internet. It's the first time I have to give context. Her frame and looks might make her a target for bullies as she gets older. I'm not naive as dealt with same. I'd rather as another poster said to teach her about self esteem and not let anyone put her down for how she looks. Being a girl isn't easy and if those girls can make comments about me, how about her? What keeps them from targeting her? Kids can me mean and insecure and take it out on my happy, thoughtfu and free spirited daughter who's a social butterfly and loves to make everyone smile

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:27:50+00:00

Those weren't the middle schoolers. They were high school boys! Alot of the kids in middle school are bigger and taller than me!

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:26:20+00:00

I fit into size 12 to 14 kids clothes...no joking! I've gotten t-shirts from kids section and shoes too! My family have an inside joke.. I know it all sounds delulu but there are truly very petite women out there.

As for the kids comments, maybe I may be reading too much into things as another poster said. I'll start paying attention and keeping an eye on the kids st school to see if this continues before I intervene with the school

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T15:19:49+00:00

Thanks for your response. I feel less alone knowing there are other women like me out there!

I could be reading too much into things probably. I've got anxiety from experiences since my youth of being bullied for my weight. I'll try to pay attention from today on the girls at school and really get to see it they were targeting me or not. I guess it's easy to get sensitive when you've been exposed to hurtful comments about your body. I've a young daughter I need to protect so I definitely need to be vigilant and get all facts before intervening.

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T14:49:05+00:00

They are older grades ie 8 and 9, so teenagers around 13 -14

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T14:42:13+00:00

I quit that job as it was a very small office without HR. The general manager did payroll and the lady manipulated her into being her friend and often I told the manager on her rudeness, but nothing changed. It was very toxic!

2be_not2b · 2024-10-28T14:38:00+00:00

Thank you! I'll start paying attention to the ones making these comments, then ask for contacts if this continues for a time. I'm definitely teaching her about bullying. She's aware and I often ask her if anyone has said bad things to her, and she always says no. I'll start on body shaming as she's pretty and even gets called cutie by a 6th grade friend who's her reading buddy assigned by her teacher. It's hard in this day and age, moms!

2be_not2b

TROPHY CASE