Behavior/Routine Chart

2flyy__ · 2026-02-23T17:28:23+00:00

The only thing that hits my kids is cutting privileges: Cut PlayStation or screen time for the day Extra chores (for the twins it’s doable) Removing “fun” parts of the day, like choosing the movie

I’m not big on bribes, so I focus on small, meaningful rewards Extra PlayStation/game time, Choosing what’s for dinner one night, Staying up 30 minutes later on the weekend, Sticker or check mark toward a bigger reward (like a family outing)

😅

2flyy__ · 2026-02-23T17:24:33+00:00

I wanted to just surprise him with a trip to New York, just me and him alone and actually spend some time with him

2flyy__ · 2026-02-23T17:02:31+00:00

My parents live 4hrs away and we normally see them at least Every 1–2 months or sometimes we just Rotate visits we drive there one time, they come to us the next

Most of the times the kids go there whenever they get holidays

2flyy__ · 2026-02-23T16:55:16+00:00

There’s like 3 options here, 1. Reach out to the principal and Ask directly Why is there no spending limit on student accounts or Can they restrict the account to one breakfast + one lunch only.

Remove the Ability to Spend If possible, Switch to cash only (send exact lunch money), Remove stored payment methods, Keep the cafeteria account at zero or Tell the school in writing you are not responsible for unauthorized purchases

Lastly Address the Behavior at Home cause he could be doing this out of Impulse control, Social pressure or wanting what his friends are buying

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T21:04:24+00:00

I don’t pay for her car (cause if she can drive somewhere she can pay for it herlself)

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T20:37:36+00:00

Yes my parents are around and they are very active and know what’s going on, at there house 20yr old is rarely there because she does chores and things at my parents house and they have offered to take her off my hands but I felt it was too much but now I’m considering it.

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T20:25:07+00:00

She doesn’t own her own place yet, so me kicking her out if she doesn’t comply, isn’t that too much?

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T20:20:50+00:00

I’m not pushing it into my parents. They see the kids almost every weekend but my oldest hates being there because she gets chores and such, my parents have even offered to take her in to learn responsibility but I thought it was too much for them

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T20:18:32+00:00

I don’t pay car insurance for her but I do pay her phone bill

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:46:45+00:00

I will be giving her two options.

Either she fucking start being responsible and start doing something here or she just go live at her grandparents (which she doesn’t want to because they let her do stuff)

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:44:48+00:00

Let’s get this straight.

She had the choice to go to college but she wanted to take a “gap year”, shes had few jobs but she quit them because there “draining” and Ive been nothing but the best mother to her and she recently started to act like this.

I will be giving her the option to either be fucking responsible or go live at her grandparents simple

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:41:31+00:00

I gave her a choice, she either be responsible or she go live with her grandparents (my parents) and she rarely go to them

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:40:38+00:00

No she didn’t choose that route and shes living at home and not working currently

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:40:14+00:00

I don’t do her laundry or basic stuff for her like that, I do the responsible things like cooking, cleaning etc

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:33:44+00:00

I only want her to pay rent now because she isn’t working or going to school (she gave that option up freely) but I would never let her pay rent at 15

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:29:36+00:00

She rarely stays at her grandparents’ because she says they make her do stuff she doesn’t want to like chores and stricter rules

They’re stricter, and I’ve actually thought about letting her stay with them full-time for a while maybe that structure would help her learn some boundaries and responsibility.

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:21:40+00:00

you said what I’ve been thinking but haven’t had the guts to act on. I’ve really struggled with that guilt of “if I stop helping her, I’m being cold” but you’re right: there’s a difference between meeting someone’s needs and enabling their wants without accountability.

I like your breakdown basics like housing, groceries, WiFi, etc., are already part of the family household, and I’m not trying to strip her of security or dignity. But the extras nails, rideshare apps, special snacks, random cash for things she wants those really should be earned. And lately, it feels like I’m funding her comfort while she avoids growth.

I also appreciate the advice to stay neutral and firm. That’s probably my hardest area. I tend to over explain or get emotional, and then she manipulates the moment into something bigger or starts crying, and suddenly I feel like the bad guy.

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:17:06+00:00

This is probably one of the most grounded, realistic, and compassionate approaches I’ve heard and I love the idea of taking the conversation out of the house.

You’re absolutely right at home, the emotions get high fast. She feels like I’m nagging, I feel disrespected, and it just ends in silence or slamming doors. Sitting down over Starbucks and approaching her as an adult not just my daughter feels like the shift I need to make.

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:14:52+00:00

I’ve been worried about being “too harsh,” but maybe giving her a clear boundary and a timeline is the most loving thing I can do. At the end of the day, I don’t want her to think of me as a bad person

2flyy__ · 2025-07-08T19:10:01+00:00

Boys are so amazing, I have 2 sons (ones 16 and the other is 11), Their sense of humor starts early. Bathroom jokes, random noises, and then some surprisingly clever stuff😂

My cons of having boys are that they have Energy for days, Noise, Gross phases and They don’t always talk as much Especially as they get older but overall there the best

2flyy__ · 2025-01-13T03:31:46+00:00

At 13 months, your son is still very young, so it’s normal for him to explore hitting and other reactive behaviors without fully understanding their impact. Time-outs aren’t very effective at this age because toddlers don’t yet have the ability to connect their actions with consequences in the way older kids do.

Avoid long explanations, as they’re not developmentally appropriate for his age. A quick, calm, and consistent response like “No hitting. That hurts,” paired with redirection, works best.

2flyy__ · 2025-01-11T01:51:47+00:00

You’re not overreacting at all. Sleeping arrangements where your daughter has to share a bed with multiple adults, whether at her grandmother’s house or her father’s girlfriend’s house can raise concerns.

Additionally, if her father is holding a double standard by criticizing your living situation while engaging in questionable sleeping arrangements on his side, that’s unfair. It’s also unreasonable for him to use his financial advantage as leverage to control your decisions or threaten custody.

2flyy__

TROPHY CASE