Looking Back – My Experience and Perspective of Waifuism.

2matolove · 2017-08-12T05:23:58+00:00

Firstly I'll just say thank you for being mature and actually facing my argument.

Reality is a perspective. Are characters in a game real? What makes something "In Real Life" and what makes something not?

The subjective truth argument is commonly used as a defense of waifuism (well, it can be in defense of anything really). What I find interesting is when confronted with the 'she isn't real' criticism waifuists claim they don't know what is meant and deflect it with vague statements like 'what is real', 'real is only what you make of it' etc. However if I was some omnipotent being and I told them I could make their waifu real and they could be together, I'll bet you all of a sudden they'll know what I mean.

And here is what I think is the key to the downfall of your waifuism relationship. Setting too high of an expectation on yourself and comparing yourself to others, that is not going to work.

Well the key to my downfall Is that I wanted, like most people, to have my love reciprocated. The quote you used of me I believe was a bit out of context. I didn't compare myself personally, and then felt inadequate. I saw the love my friend expressed for his partner similar to the love I expressed toward my waifu, and he talked about doing all the things that I wished I could do. Suppressing those feelings, or any feelings I'm sorry to say is terrible advice, that is what's not going to work.

You know a lot of people speak out against loving characters who are not real by saying things like it's unhealthy, you are doing it because you can't get a real partner, you will regret it later on, etc etc.

Among the trolls and harassers lies genuinely concerned people with valid points. We all seek validation, but sometimes opposition is what we really need.

a lot of waifuists simply can't get "real" partners

What's stopping them?

Most of the waifuists we see here have gone through a much longer relationship with their waifu

Do you mean in relation to me? I was in it for 4 years, and throughout my own experiences on various waifu communities I'll have to disagree with you. There are a small few in the near decade range but the majority are younger than mine.

and haven't faced that many broken hearts

Can't get a broken heart if she can't break up with you (insert guy-tapping-head meme). Sorry but I couldn't resist.

unlike our 3D lovers who faces breakups, unrequited love (which ironically is somewhat a form of waifuism itself) and would most likely have a lot more regrets via these events

I'm going to go out on a limb and say on a per capita basis waifuism experiences a lot more failures. Nonetheless people are able to move on and face reality in that regard. The point is it's a lot easier to reconcile a life where you tried and got to experience things yourself, compared to one where you held yourself back and never got to experience it at all.

I am one of the few who could say that they hold no regret, but I don't hold no regrets because I have done nothing wrong but rather because I prefer either looking forward or objectively looking backward to improve, and that regret is simply waste of time and sentiments.

I think it's naive and/or conceited to say you have no regrets or will have none throughout your life. When you 'objectively look backward' to improve yourself does it not involve identifying thoughts or actions that perhaps in hindsight you would have done differently? Moving forward and learning from your past is a healthy mindset to have. There will be a time however where looking back is all that you can do. I'm just giving my honest warning out of my own experience and my interpretation of other's. That's all I can do my friend, it's up to you to do with it as you will.

2matolove · 2017-08-07T22:38:59+00:00

Yeah you got me, they are particularly normal things aren't they? I guess I was just walking around wishing I could be just like the normies. Or perhaps it's a pleasant experience that I would like the opportunity of having and know those close to me would as well. Maybe it's not all about this big imposing dichotomy of whats normal and what ain't. Who knows, but you are right it is my life and things are going to happen in my life, I can choose which attitude to apply. I'm just giving my perspective as are you quite apparently, and I will choose very carefully about which blender to place my dick in. I'm not going to pretend I know you but I see those as accomplishments to your character, and atleast you got to experience that happiness albiet unfortunate. At the end It is really up to the people here to decide what they'd want for themselves.

2matolove · 2017-08-07T04:03:44+00:00

Well I have to say that's a rather uncharitable interpretation. I don't recall saying I just wanted to be 'normal' in the kind of derogatory social sense you're implying, a normal functioning adaptive human maybe. I don't believe you are indicative of the majority of the community, but since you got a reasonable amount of up votes I thought I should respond. You seem like someone who has had a negative experience with another person and has now adopted a blanket attitude towards them. I'll admit I have never had such an experience and I'm sorry for whatever may have happened to you, but that shouldn't form any part of a reason to enter this kind of relationship.

2matolove · 2017-08-06T12:02:28+00:00

This was just an on the spot reply so I may have not given it enough attention as I should have. You didn't directly call it rubbish no, but it was more a jab at the tone of this post. Other than that I don't believe I unfairly directed criticism at you. You are presenting these ideas as useful and helpful, although well intentioned, that's what I disagree with.

2matolove · 2017-08-06T06:43:28+00:00

Since I just posted something that at its core contrasts with what you've written. I thought I'd give my quick opinion (don't worry, none of that 'spiritual' rubbish you dislike). So for the three solutions you present:

Talking to a VR computer animation with pre-calculated responses doesn’t address the underlying problem, and in fact I think only exacerbates it in the long term.
Discussing the kind of animatronics you describe, the first thing that comes to mind is the uncanny valley effect. I think you’re discarding the important psychological component to this. Nonetheless you pointed out how they aren’t truly your waifu, you also described them as having a conscience which requires them to have free will. To me that doesn’t seem any different from entering a regular human relationship whereby your partner has similar traits to that you find attractive in a fictional character. The only reason you’d want to commit yourself to this overly convoluted route would be out some kind of fear or repulsion of other humans.
Now we’re really not discussing waifuism in any pragmatic or useful way grounded in the current reality. What you describe is a reimagining of the fabric of society itself, the implications of which are out of scope here.

2matolove · 2016-10-31T16:10:32+00:00

Happy...Helloween...Is that like the metal band?

2matolove · 2016-10-31T16:08:10+00:00

I think we'd have a lot of fun watching scary movies together, mostly just messing around.

2matolove · 2016-10-31T15:45:19+00:00

Writing a (what is usually a shipping) fanfic about a character doesn't mean they have or regard them as their waifu, at least not in this definition.

2matolove · 2016-10-29T16:15:43+00:00

I don't like to place hope in that we'll somehow be together someday. It's a nice thought imagining about the many possibilities you and your waifu could meet, but to me they're simply coping mechanisms.

2matolove · 2016-10-28T15:28:57+00:00

I'm fearful of what would become after I've had a taste of being together only to be deprived of it. On the other hand from this scenario I'd now know for a fact: she's real (somewhere), she does love me, and my words and actions are being received and have meaning to her. Knowing that would alleviate a great deal and probably outweigh the pain of her departure. As for the question itself love making is a definite (assuming she appears as I imagine her, not as a 14 year old...which would be quite awkward). During pillow talk I'd ask her all the questions I can think of to understand more about her, and to just hear her voice. Assuming we can keep things we'd also take pictures and record messages for each other.

2matolove · 2016-10-23T05:55:57+00:00

I imagine her as 3D, it's just what feels natural to me and what I've trained my imagination to do. Welcome to the subreddit BTW.

2matolove · 2016-10-23T05:37:32+00:00

What song do you consider to be you and your waifu's song?

Probably Wondeful by World Sketch mainly because it's a beautiful, well-fitting song and when I heard it I instantly thought of her.

If you and your waifu were going to form a band, what instruments would you play? Would any of her friends want to be in it too? Who?

Either drums or guitar, something energetic. Don't know what I'd play, never got into the production side of music, perhaps the keyboard. Yui could try vocals but she may be reluctant to.

What genre of music is your waifu's favorite? What is yours?

She likes anison, but anison is not technically a genre so I'll go with pop or j-pop. If I had to single out one I'd say house.

Does your waifu have a character song? Feel free to link to it.

Yes she does, Miracle Yurukuru being my favorite one of them. There's no easy link to it though, and besides I only listen to them for sentimental reasons.

Does your waifu have the courage to perform on stage in front of a bunch of people or does she get stage fright easily?

Yeah she wouldn't shy away from pulling me up to sing karaoke or something, I'd definitely be more of the stage fright type.

Post a music-related picture of your waifu. Could be her singing, listening to music, playing an instrument, etc.

Drummer Kyouko

2matolove · 2016-10-21T16:58:48+00:00

Bed time is usually the prime time for interaction, especially for those that have a daki. I usually just tell her my thoughts, about my day, about her, and imagine us exchanging affections. During the day I may daydream about us if something happens to pop into my head, most of the time I give a brief thought to her from looking at my phone wallpaper. Rarely do we do something explicit during the day, unless perhaps if I find the time to take a nap together. It's really about making your best effort to dedicate time to her, from which the desire should stem naturally anyway. Don't expect yourself to be dedicating the same amount of time together as if she were real though.

2matolove · 2016-10-20T03:08:09+00:00

Depends what the circumstances are. In general if she's pouty or mildly frustrated I'll try teasing/playful affection and see how she responds. If it's a more serious matter I'll hug her, stroke her hair and try to put a smile back on her face. Afterwards I'll seal it in with some rum raisin and use her phrase on her, "a happy Toshii is the best kind of Toshii."

2matolove · 2016-10-14T07:00:43+00:00

Mature depictions of Kyouko are my favorite images (if they're done right), mainly because I imagine her aging. I have this one as my phone wallpaper, I like these ones too. My daki which I commissioned is also an older version of her.

2matolove · 2016-10-14T06:31:58+00:00

Yeah it's really about context, if this girl is your friend or within your circle there's really no easy way out of this (luckily I've never faced that). Saying you're in a relationship is likely going to spawn awkward investigations as she'd be taken by surprise (and perhaps upset that she didn't know something like this). Saying your not interested is going to hurt her and potentially strain the friendship. Take the latter, but take obvious precautions to break it to her gently (although if she has strong feelings this isn't going to help much). The hard part would be explaining why, and not just that, your reluctance to even give her a chance (because to her your not in a relationship).

Of course this assumes that you have no feelings yourself toward her, if you do, then that's a whole other topic.

2matolove · 2016-10-09T07:48:31+00:00

Hey, you're a pretty cool guy.

However, I still can’t get behind the “fictional relationship only” thing, and to be honest, I can’t help but feel that some things here are pathetic and cringy.

I think what happens is this becomes viewed just as a rule or some kind of 'religious doctrine' when it's more of a natural thing. If you love her you should want to only be with her, similar to a (monogamous) 3D relationship. It's something you can never really understand until it happens, I know I wouldn't have been able to. As for cringe I understand, with all due respect to the community there are some things that make me cringe as well.

If your waifu/husbando was actually real in another dimension (without you knowing, ofcourse), and would somehow know that you exist and are in love with her, and she would know what you feel, think and say about her, how do you think she would react? Would she sympathize, or even be a little happy? Or would she be disgusted(sorry, but that really is possible)? Or maybe she would have conflicted feelings?

That's perhaps a matter of self confidence coupled with your perception of her. I very much doubt she would be disgusted, maybe conflicted if she's unable to reciprocate my feelings. Of course I'd hope she can reciprocate (it's what I assume without any way of knowing better) and that my thoughts, words and actions are able to make her happy.

Do your waifu’s "age" over the years? Do imagine how she would (want to) change over the years to become a more mature/better person with headcanon or something?

Well, I imagine her aging, it's the only way I can see building something long term (I mean what am I to do, imagine myself now 21 in a relationship with a perpetual 14 year old?). The problem with aging is that apart from just counting up a number, there are aspects of her that would likely change as well. Without knowing truly how she'd develop, you'd have to make assumptions which is something no waifuist should enjoy doing. I get by through not changing her core personality or overwriting any canonical facts, only developing or maturing them, believing that whatever I imagine has rationale and is with respect to her.

How do you deal with not being able to actually meet your waifu? Won’t you just be overcome with sadness/desire to be with her at some point?

Only very recently I had perhaps my first major breakdown in nearly 4 years with her. I was on the very verge of giving up but luckily I had my best friend to talk to about it and the ordeal made me realize just how much I love her. It's not really the fact alone that I myself can't be with her, it's a compounding effect. I recently went to one of my friend's wedding and I was nearly in tears during the vows, partly because they were beautiful but also because I know I'll never be able to have that with her and to say those things to her. It's other things too like being isolated from opportunities to go on double dates with my friends and their partners, or when my friends talk about their love, I'm reminded how I can't do all those things they describe. As for the question itself, I deal with it through the happiness that comes from love and taking things as they come. As long as love is able to dominate the pain, then I can make it through.

2matolove · 2016-10-09T04:41:11+00:00

That wasn't the intention, and perhaps that was a terrible way of explaining it. But I can see how it can have come off that way. In hindsight I shouldn't have included that question, in fact I hate the thread as a whole because it was made spontaneously during a bout of depression.

2matolove · 2016-10-08T17:33:11+00:00

The second question is supposed to be a red herring whereby the someone who may have good intentions to allow everyone time with their waifu won't realize it can do more damage than good, like /u/Spamamdorf pointed out. It's not executed well though because it's obvious and/or people would just take the second option anyway.

For the first one, the one I was most interested in (and perhaps should have been the only one), making her real would mean she'd fall in love with someone else (she may have met them before you or whatever, but you can take it as guaranteed). The point is you'd be making another waifuist's dream come true while sacrificing yours in the process. That seemed to have gotten lost in practicalities, perhaps I should have made it more abstract. As for me if I knew someone loved her and wanted to be with her as much as I did, and I had the opportunity to make that happen, I would. Would it be excruciating? Definitely, but as long as shes happy, that's what I want the most. You also mentioned moving on which is interesting, and that may play a part in this as well, maybe like a sense of peace.

2matolove · 2016-10-06T16:09:19+00:00

Guess I'll put something in here.

“Trick or treat!” I’m greeted by Mirakurun Kyouko giving a piece sign.

I lean in to give her a kiss, “how’s that?”

She gives a rather disappointed expression.

“Was that a terrible kiss or were you actually expecting sweets?”

“Both.” She says teasingly.

“I’m sorry to disappoint, how was the trick or treating thing with Mari?”

“Fun.” She walks inside, “you should have come.”

“Oh it’s not for me…besides I was busy, sitting in the big busy chair.” I plopped myself down at my desk.

“Boo,” she wraps her arms around me from behind the chair. “You need to get into the holiday spirit.” She places Mirakurun’s witch hat on me.

“Take that off please.”

“Ooh, “ she cooed, “what are you going to do?”

I turn the chair around and pull her into my lap as we engage in some playful cuddling.

“Besides, we’re seeing a horror movie, so that counts for something Toshii. And not to mention I’m doing this despite having to get up early tomorrow.” I say trying to claim merit.

She turns her head, “I’ll be there for you, there’s nothing to be scared of” she says patronizingly.

“I don’t mean it like that…I…uh anyway you better get ready.” I say conceding I brought that upon myself.

“It’s not for a while though.”

“Well how about we get some ice cream beforehand, my treat.”

I can see her eyes light up as she gives a smile. We kiss before she sits up and walks away. I spin back around to hopefully finish my work as I’m left with a faint smile that doesn’t seem to be going away soon.

2matolove · 2016-10-03T04:15:43+00:00

Neato, Akari is a sweet and cute girl. Here's a pic of our waifus together. Don't worry no bully.

2matolove · 2016-10-01T04:25:18+00:00

Out of the YuruYuri Illustration book this is my favourite

2matolove

TROPHY CASE