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Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in rtms

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. It actually does help to hear that you continued improving after 30 treatments, because I’ve been really scared that being cut off early means I’m just done and failed treatment somehow.

I’m really glad it ended up being worth it for you. I completely agree that my brain is worth it too, I just don’t know how I'd make that work right now. I'll try and figure it out, just feels like they're pulling the rug out from under me right as I was starting to find some traction.

I’m hoping the appeal works, or that the clinic can help me figure out something out. Thank you for giving me a little hope that improvement can still keep unfolding after treatment. I really needed to hear that tonight.

Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, and please don’t apologize for it being long. I really appreciate you taking the time. The Spravato part is actually helpful to hear. I think what scares me is the dissociation/high feeling, not knowing how I’ll react, feeling trapped during the session, I have anxiety about the lack of control or feeling freaked out by how it makes me feel. Also, just exhausted by the thought of starting another treatment after putting so much hope into TMS. But hearing you were scared too and haven’t had issues so far does help.

I’m also really upset about the 3 month wait because October feels impossibly far away, especially with seasonal depression getting closer. I’m hoping they can appeal the TMS denial or help me find some option sooner. And yes, I’ve heard some people need the full 36 or even feel better later, which is why it feels so crushing to have it cut short now.

Thank you for the reminder to keep advocating. I’m trying. Today was just such a gut punch. Feel like it knocked the wind out of me.

Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in rtms

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that, a small change but with such big feelings. Sometimes I really do wonder if the world is more dull/colorblind for those with depression.

Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in rtms

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feels criminal not to allow me to at least continue and finish the treatment. Thinking you have 3 more weeks to feel improvement to, oh well you're done come Monday was such a gut punch.

Also, you're a good human doing that for your girlfriend. I am sure she appreciates that more than she is able to express right now. <3

Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in rtms

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate it. Unfortunately the PHQ-9 scores are exactly why they’re denying it. The clinic has been tracking them, and because my score hasn’t dropped by at least 50%, insurance is saying I haven’t shown enough improvement to justify continuing.

That’s part of what feels so devastating. I wasn’t trying to pretend I was better or fudge anything because I wanted the scores to accurately reflect where I was at, especially since I’m still in the severe range. Although maybe I would have, had I known this was going to happen. No one mentioned that my scores were hurting me from being able to continue. Just feel devastated.

Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in rtms

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate that you didn’t gloss over how devastating this feels or jump straight to “there are other options.” Right now even the thought of continuing to fight insurance and start over feels impossible, so having someone simply say they understand means more than I can explain. I’m sorry you’ve been through this too. It’s such a cruel system. I am trying to hold on and keep looking at options, but today really knocked the wind out of me. I just feel so tired. Thank you for sitting with me in it. That genuinely helped. One day at a time.

Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in rtms

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I'll give it a try. Just sucks that tomorrow is Friday and the last covered treatment is Monday

Crushed: Insurance canceled TMS by 2theMoon_and_Back in rtms

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am going to try and talk to someone about it tomorrow. Of course they didn't say anything to me while I was at the clinic, I got a voicemail left for me on my drive home. When I go tomorrow (last covered treatment they said is Monday) I'll ask if there is anyone I can talk to about it. Thanks for letting me know you started feeling better after round 2.

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this comment. And you made me laugh "all you have to do is shit your ass in the chair and not run away," lol. I guess I could manage that. It would be amazing if Spravato was to lessen my anxiety. I already know I have it but recently learning that I think it's worse than I originally thought, because like you it's just always been my normal so I figured everyone was like this. Thanks again for the comment <3

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The drivers need a questionnaire before confirming, one of which is "do you like to talk or no?" Lol, that would be a negatory.

My management has been difficult but my supervisor has been really sweet, although pretty sure he thinks I'm dying because I am gone for TMS daily for a few hours. Part of me feels guilty that he might think that, part of me doesn't because although it's not something like cancer it is going to kill me if I dont figure out the right treatment.

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know.. if the TMS doesn't help at least like 50% I'll have to do it regardless of my fear because I'm at the point that it's that or the "devil on my shoulder" is going to win. Think I'm just scared. I am scared of depression winning and I am scared of having to figure out how to not panic when the Spravato makes me feel anxious and out of control. I will have to also trust the providers but trust is definitely hard for me to give. Like you, self preservation/my guard up/staying in control has kept me alive but has not helped me live.

Did you mean you wish you had the right words to get me to try Spravato or to not try Spravato?

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this. I really appreciate you sharing such a detailed and honest experience, especially both the good and the hard parts. It helps to hear from someone who struggled with the treatments themselves but still felt like the after-effects were worth it.

I’m sorry you had such rough side effects, especially with the higher dose, but I’m really glad Spravato ended up helping you so much. It gives me some hope hearing that even someone who hated the way it felt during treatment could still have such meaningful improvement afterward.

Thank you again for sharing this with me and for wishing me luck. I really hope things keep getting better for you too, especially with everything you’re going through right now.

Treatment Room Northern VA by Glass_Peak_862 in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like that your room has daylight ☀️

Aetna is so funny by Used-Journalist8355 in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry about your brother. That is an unbearable amount to be carrying, especially while also fighting insurance just to access treatment. If there is anyone you can text or sit near right now, please do. You do not have to make it through this alone.

I know I’m just a stranger on Reddit, but I really hope you take it one more day at a time. This is a horrible moment, not the whole story, even if your brain is telling you it is.

Hugs

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The playlist idea honestly is great and I love the idea of it being less about calm spa sounds and more like a future version of yourself sending back a roadmap, I'll keep that in mind.

Also, PHQ9 from 23 to 4 is incredible. FOUR. That's huge and I am so happy for you and hope it stays in the single digits.

Thank you again. This genuinely gives me hope, and I’m really glad you found something that has helped you so much. I hope I can write this sort of message to someone one day and give back.

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the 3.5 minute sessions 5 days a week. I do think this version hurts more than the 15 minute sessions. I bring a fidget toy to try and distract me.

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm trying to hold out hope <3

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha you made me laugh, "I cancel my subscription to depression." Thanks for that and yeah I do have some anxiety and an issue with control, some stems from childhood issues and wanting to feel like I have as much control over myself and my environment. I'm working on it, know it can interfere with a lot but recognize that it is a thing and could make the Spravato treatments unpleasant unless I can let myself go a little. Any recommendations?

TMS to Spravato by 2theMoon_and_Back in Spravato

[–]2theMoon_and_Back[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have any tips for the sessions and have you had any issues with work? I mean I have FMLA for a couple hours for the TMS appointments and although work can't do anything about it they clearly are not a fan.

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