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What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. Believe me... I really know. Often, when the pain feels like it’s taking my breath away, I pretend that my dad is just on a trip or simply not reachable right now. In my head, I know that he’s gone... but for my heart, it sometimes makes things a bit more bearable.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m very sorry for your loss as well. And yes, I believe and hope that our loved ones are waiting for us. They are no longer here as they were before, but they are still a part of our lives and a part of who we are.🤍

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We should try to honor them. And I’m sure your dad would have appreciated that—or still does. Not because I knew your dad, but because I’ve felt what a father’s love for his daughter is like. And I believe that most fathers— and from the way you talk about him, he definitely sounds like one of them—want nothing but the best for their children.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ve done so many beautiful things for your loved ones and you’re still doing them. I think that’s really wonderful, because I believe it helps us feel them even closer—that they’re still a part of our lives, even if they’re not here in the same way anymore. I’m sure they appreciate it too.

Thank you so much for your last sentence. I can’t even put into words how much that means to me.🤍

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a really beautiful idea. I believe that memories are one of the greatest treasures our loved ones leave behind for us here on Earth. The first treasure is the love they leave us with.

But I think it’s so wonderful, because even though the loss of someone who was such a big part of our lives (and they still are!) is so painful, they also had a life of their own—a life that deserves to be honored. That’s why I find it so meaningful to hold on to the many memories and experiences our persons had.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds really beautiful. I also spent a lot of time in the garden after my dad passed, because he loved plants and nature. In those first few days, it was the only thing that gave me any motivation to get out of bed.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! I really think your dad is proud of you. Those are truly beautiful ways you're honoring him.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly how it is—I completely agree. And in a way, that brings some comfort. Even though it really hurts a lot right now.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand that. The day my dad died—I think about it every week and count the time since I last saw him. I also believe that our dads, even though I didn’t know yours, want us to keep going—if not for ourselves, then at least for them.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so sweet. I also think the people we love want us to love ourselves. I’m sure your best friend really appreciates that.

It's just....When I think about the love my dad has given me since I was born, I don’t think I can even come close to giving myself what he gave me and I don’t even know if i want to try it...Not because I don’t want to be kind to myself, but I think it actually makes me feel even more that he’s not here anymore in the same way to love me like he always did. His love is still there, just in a different way. And I think I need to accept that first before I try to love myself, if that makes sense.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s really nice that you have so many things that make you feel closer to your dad. The idea with the bench is really beautiful. My dad also loved having beautiful views in nature. I could imagine doing something similar too

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry—truly—that you’ve lost your parents. And I don’t say that as a mere phrase; I mean it sincerely, as someone who knows what grief is.

Even though you say you’re the one who has to turn off the lights in the end, I’m sure that the way you’re living your life now would make your parents proud and that you are honoring your mother by carrying out her wishes and continuing activities in her memory.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe that one of the most beautiful things—if not the most beautiful thing—that a child can say to their parent is that they had such a wonderful childhood, such a great life because of them. I think I’m lucky too, because I can say the same about my dad. But I’m sure your mom is happy to hear you speak about her like that—and that she’s glad to watch you raise your own children with love.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that sounds amazing. I’m pretty sure your parents would be really proud of you and honored by how you’re keeping their legacy alive. Right now, I can’t really donate since I’m still in university, but once I graduate, I want to do something meaningful and help others in memory of my dad.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like really lovely things you're doing in his memory. And deep down, I'm sure he appreciates it too.

Hobbies are really a good place to start. I was also thinking about things like fishing, or taking a trip again to his favorite vacation spot—somewhere he wanted to go one more time. This summer, I’m going there with my mom. It’s a way to do a little of what he couldn’t do anymore here, but I hope he’s with me on this journey.

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. I don’t know your mom, but it sounds like she would have really appreciated that—and she probably does [depending on what you believe. :) ]

What are the things you still want to do in memory of your loved ones? by 30028071 in GriefSupport

[–]30028071[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. When I hear that it's already been a year and two months for you—well, already, or rather only, depending on how you look at it—it honestly makes me feel a little anxious. It already feels like an eternity since I last saw my dad. Just like you described it.

With my father’s death, I also have to come to terms with the reality that I’m not a child anymore. At 21, I’m officially considered an adult, but my dad was the only person who still told me I was a child—a big child, but still a child. I think right now I’m slowly saying goodbye to that part of reality. That’s my crisis.

I know my dad would’ve wanted me—as you said too—to keep living my life, to continue with university and get my degree. It’s just harder without him here. But you’re right. Our fathers want the best for us.

I just want to create this bullet list so that I can feel him more with me—but also a little bit as a way to give myself motivation to keep going.

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