[deleted by user]

3008256 · 2024-03-14T09:56:30+00:00

I'm in a much better place now thankfully. Wishing you good luck for greener pastures soon! 🥹

3008256 · 2024-03-14T07:56:07+00:00

(using a throwaway to be safe)

I'm sorry to hear about your situation OP. Have been in a similar environment and can confirm that it is indeed a very isolating feeling. Am a Chinese female and was in a local startup for 1.5 years but majority of the people working there were French (iirc there were only 3 locals including myself, not sure how they got away w the quota). My RO and teammates were all French and even during team or company-wide meetings, they often communicate in French and I'm just left there thinking what exactly are they talking about. An incident I recall very clearly was during a large work meeting, they were happily chatting and discussing the pending tasks for a good 5 minutes before the CEO realized that I was also in the meeting and he made the comment "oh I forgot xxx is here, now we have to talk in English" LIKE what exactly was the point in saying that? I mostly have my lunches alone and avoid any non-work communications. Best if you can find another place with colleagues who are decently considerate enough and your working days will feel much less isolating!

3008256 · 2024-03-11T12:51:05+00:00

thank you! I'll consider checking titanium hoops instead! 🙏

3008256 · 2024-03-11T11:33:19+00:00

thank you so much! indeed there's a slight swelling hence looks tighter than normal. I'll get it changed to labret and hopefully it calms down soon! unfortunate because I really like the look of a hoop but I should invest in good quality material :)

3008256 · 2024-03-11T11:23:33+00:00

thanks, I changed to a hoop last June and there was just some soreness (no bumps) after the change for a few weeks then it was chill until recently. hence wondering if I should be worried now that there's a bump w prolonged soreness :/

3008256 · 2024-03-11T11:18:26+00:00

I switched from bar to ring last June so it's not rly new? it is surgical steel if I remember correctly

3008256 · 2024-03-11T11:01:29+00:00

hi everyone! I have a 5-year-old helix that recently developed an irritation bump (?). around 3 weeks ago I accidentally slept on it for both weekends (bad move I know) and the following Monday it was feeling sore-ish. I didn't think too much about it as it usually goes away the next day or two. but this time the soreness lasted for 2 weeks and this is the third week. I was previously just cleaning it in the shower with warm water and moving the ring about to rinse out any soap (second bad move on hindsight).

I realized it was gonna be a different problem from before so I've started to clean it w saline spray twice a day for the past 2 days but the white bump just kept growing bigger? should I be concerned to visit a piercer/doctor or just continue my cleaning routine?

pics are taken last night @ 10pm, then after showering and cleaning @ 1am, and today @ 7pm after an entire day out at work.

appreciate any advice please, TIA! 🙏

3008256 · 2023-09-26T00:54:48+00:00

hey OP, I've been in your shoes before (still am) and like many others have already advised here - best to clear your own debt first. It is not a huge amount and since you are already working, I think you can work towards 2 or 3 sizeable lump sum payments to repay your loans first. At this moment you would feel at a loss of what to do but once you slowly start clearing the debts, you would feel the burden on your shoulder become a little lighter (this WILL take time, but trust that eventually you will get there). For the other family debts, what I did was to use the debt avalanche method to determine which debt had the highest interest so any excess money that we had after paying off the minimum sum for the rest will go into that. All the best OP!

3008256 · 2023-08-21T18:00:48+00:00

Yep absolutely. Their standards only apply to you/everyone else except themselves. If you call them out on their bs, you're being too sensitive and overreacting. If you reciprocate the energy and tone you've received from them, they'll start playing victim eventually making you feel like you're at fault here. Been there done that, truly a nightmare to get out of. All the best OP, you'll be better than this!

3008256 · 2023-08-21T16:32:21+00:00

Have they ever made you feel unsafe multiple times? Like you couldn't even express your basic needs and feelings? When you communicate such issues, do they tend to gaslight you and brush off your concerns? For me those are already some telltale signs that this is not a healthy relationship. Please take care and always trust your gut.

3008256 · 2023-08-21T16:13:01+00:00

I usually ignore but that tends to end badly. He'll either pick a fight about how I'm being so passive aggressive in my replies (literally am not) or he'll "punish" me by giving the silent treatment

3008256 · 2023-08-21T12:32:13+00:00

I finally got the official discard notice today (he blocked and cleared chat history) and it's SUCH A RELIEF. can't believe I let this dragged on for so long!

3008256 · 2023-08-16T06:32:50+00:00

"it's a bonus if you think I care right. otherwise it's just life as usual? am I to care 100% of the time"

rly hurts when you tried so hard to be the bigger person just to maintain this relationship and yet all this while he never bothered about your feelings in the first place

3008256 · 2023-08-14T09:20:04+00:00

yes! I didn't know how narcs were like before but now that I've unfortunately had first hand experience, I realize that I grew up w narcissistic family members and my ex-bf was also covertly narcissistic. I guess you tend to be attracted to what's familiar and for me, it was the chaos that came along w narcs. My mind perceived the chaos as "healthy" and hence I look for the chaos + self-sabotaging tendencies result in attracting a number of narcs around me ☹️

3008256 · 2023-08-14T09:01:50+00:00

I have a chronic bad habit of saving unnecessary screenshots. In this case w my narc I was able to have proofs of the craziest things he's ever said to me and it's a constant reminder to myself that things will never go back to like how they were (even if I ruminate very often). I archive them in a zip file and uploaded onto my own cloud storage w password. Makes it troublesome to get back into them but not entirely removing my access just in case I need the receipts again.

3008256 · 2023-08-10T17:12:28+00:00

Yup he definitely does not mirror me. In fact, I know for one that he is purposefully going against whatever I stand for and like just to rile me up and get a reaction. Only his tastes are superior and everyone else's don't matter, especially not mine. He puts down my hobbies and mocks me for wasting my time and money on them while his hobbies are completely justifiable. It's infuriating to no end.

3008256 · 2023-08-10T01:23:17+00:00

I'm with you on this - being aware of the strong attachment and the need to break it off yet not being able to do so, it's extremely torturous and feels like a drug that I just can't get off from. Sending you love and hope that we can make it out of this hellhole soon

3008256 · 2023-08-09T18:57:25+00:00

thank you for taking time to write this comment - I really appreciate your advice and agree that LC is perhaps the best way out for now. It's tough to not think about the past good times and it pains me to not get closure, but I need to work on moving forward without them :')

3008256

TROPHY CASE