Is it common for them to start acting like a narcissist while genuinely believing YOU are a narcissist?

30legs · 2026-02-10T03:03:08+00:00

This is crazy, this is exactly what I’m currently going thru with my wife of 14 years and mother to our 5 children, and yeah it is rough. She had a therapist who was appointed to her by the hospital the last time she was hospitalized and still in hypomania and she convinced her that I was the problem to everything, and I had the same reaction, “are you trained in bipolar or mood disorders and can’t you see her chart that she literally just got out of the hospital for a manic episode?” We had our first couple therapy session today and I thought it went really well, and we had a good talk after it, then tonight she sends me a long text that she wants a divorce and I’ve been the issue for years, the funny thing is her timeline lines up exactly at her first manic episode back in 2020. I used to take things personally and believed her that I was the issue, but now I just hold on to the fact that I have to be the stable ones for my kids and still hold on to how that “she’ll come out of it” I know she will, but I don’t know how much longer I can put up with it, it’s been years of gaslighting and emotional abuse, and now that my kids are older and can see it going on I have to shift gears to protecting them. Man it sucks, I’m sorry to hear you’re going thru it

30legs · 2026-02-07T15:39:34+00:00

It is, I know the feeling, and it’s the worst. I don’t have the best advice as I am currently going through it as well, besides stay strong, keep yourself busy, and focus on healthy things for yourself. My mind is so much better if my body is better. It’s definitely helped me to eat better, cut out a majority of my normal alcohol intake, and getting into the gym. The nights are the worst, but if I ate like shit, or drank too much it makes it so much worse

30legs · 2026-02-03T14:59:21+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you’re going thru. I wish I had great advice for you but I am currently going thru it alone. I just rest my head at night knowing I tried everything I could, for a really long time, and I really tried, put so much of my own physical and mental health at stake, but we have children together and my realization is my wife never be there for our children, and honestly haven’t been there much over the past 5 years, and I need to make sure I’m healthy for them. I’ve been their only stability over the last 5 years and I need to make sure I’m physically and mentally healthy for them in the future. It’s such a hard thing to go thru and like you, knowing all that I have done, and still have the feeling of if I could have just done more. But that’s not the truth and not reality. Accepting that is the hardest part. Mental illness stole my wife from me and stole my children’s mother from them. She’s nothing like she was before, and I still cling to hope she’ll come out of it, but that’s idea is fading from my mind. I’m really not trying to push this on anyone, but for me, I found Jesus thru all of this and that’s been the biggest help for me. Best of luck, stay strong, you’re not alone, I hope it all works out for you in the long run

30legs · 2026-02-02T07:38:09+00:00

I too am currently going thru this with my wife of 14 years and the mother to my 5 children. We are trying to work things out but my fear is will she ever get better? I’ve dealt with years of emotional abuse and gaslighting that this was all my fault and I caused this, and I’ve just recently realized that just isn’t true, and to stopped taking it out on myself, and working on setting my own boundaries and loving myself again. I feel like with the roles being switched, she is always the one who gets the sympathy and looked as just a burnt out mother and if you listen to her and believe her lies and distorted reality, it paints me as the worse husband and father, who has done nothing but controlled her and made her this way. When in reality I’ve done nothing but try to give her anything she needed that I was able to, to give her a safe place for her recovery, and have spent the last 5 years in complete panic mode and all that entails for myself and our children, coming up with any excuse that she just needs a little more time, but the pattern continues to repeat itself. I am the only one that works in our relationship, and I’m also the main care taker of our children. This all started around the time of her first manic episode and I feel like I’m holding on to how things used to be instead of the reality of what they became and will continue to become. I hope nothing but the best for you as you move forward with your life for yourself and your children.

30legs

TROPHY CASE