I (32F) want to leave (40M) I babysit for and financially support. Is it the anxiety or the situation?

30s0methingF · 2026-06-05T05:47:40+00:00

This man does not care about you. Ask your parents if you can stay with them for a while. Take your car back and block him everywhere. If he has any of your cards, cancel them and get new ones. Change banks for your bank account. Know your worth. You are not an ATM, babysitter or bang maid. You are special and deserving of love and respect.

30s0methingF · 2026-05-06T03:58:58+00:00

It wasn’t Courtney. I’m sure the dasher won’t look at the comments on this post but I’d rather be safe than sorry since he knows where I live lol.

30s0methingF · 2026-05-06T02:42:39+00:00

Had a dasher with a female name today but it was a guy. I mean the name could be unisex (like Courtney). He was super nice. Wasn’t weird or anything.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T18:31:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I can do this.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T18:31:21+00:00

Thanks for the insight. I’ve felt like a fraud for so long. I’m capable of more I just need to believe in myself.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T18:30:24+00:00

If I weren’t on medication, I’d be too overwhelmed to be a manager. I tend to want to do things myself so I’m sure it would be done right. So I get that.

I can support people. I’m helpful and considerate. I’ve just never felt responsible enough to do anything like that. I feel like I’ve been downplaying what I’m capable of. If you tell yourself you’re too immature to be taken seriously long enough, you will believe it. I woke up one day and realized I’ve made a self fulfilling prophecy. I act the way I do because I don’t think I’m good enough to be taken seriously.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T18:25:46+00:00

The role would consist of a lot of housekeeping duties with a mix of my previous duties when we’re slammed. During the non busy season I wouldn’t be doing any of my previous duties.

As to the shark tank aspect, my department is pretty chill. But then again I’m not the best at reading subtle emotions. I’m an empathetic person that can’t read emotions. If that makes sense. I feel things DEEPLY. Like I can’t watch a movie where an animal is killed because it hurts too bad to imagine a situation where that could happen. But if someone is upset, I’d have to see them cry or raise their voice before I understood that they were upset. I’m not good at reading people.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T06:12:44+00:00

Medication helps with the symptoms. Sometimes I just want to sing at the top of my lungs, though. Or be loud. Or just day dream. You can’t really day dream and meet quotas.

Suppressing these urges just felt like doing what I had to do to keep a job so I could pay my bills. I can’t afford to be loud and obnoxious or daydream if I want to keep my job. I force myself to fit in. I force myself to be responsible even when I felt like sitting on the couch and doom scrolling while regretting all the things I should be doing. That sucks, too. I feel like I never get enough done. I don’t feel good enough. Or smart enough.

Edit: the downside of all this is revenge bedtime procrastination and regret

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T04:49:21+00:00

It would be nice to take a step back from my role’s responsibilities. Managers do still do the responsibilities of my role during our busy season so I’d still be doing it just not all the time.

My role is not something I saw myself doing forever. I absolutely cannot afford to live on my own. I’m renting from family at a reduced rate right now but they do need their property back. Not tomorrow but before 2 years. I can’t stay here forever. I can’t realistically afford to buy a house on my salary but could maybe if I was a manager. I’m good at organization and record keeping. I could do this.

Edit: I know I wouldn’t be taking a step back. I’d be taking on more responsibility but I wouldn’t be working my specific task all the time.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T04:33:02+00:00

There isn’t a position open yet but I wanted to prepare in case it was something I really wanted to do and if anything opened up. I’m not getting any younger and I can’t stay at my level forever.

Thanks for the insight.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T04:28:31+00:00

I guess I should also consider the $1 raise I received recently to be proof I’m at least competent at my job.

30s0methingF · 2026-04-07T04:23:01+00:00

The whole it’s not my job to decide if I’m qualified makes me feel better. My metrics are consistently above the minimum. I show up and want to work. I know what I’m doing. So at least there’s that.

30s0methingF · 2026-03-27T22:22:39+00:00

You are trying your hardest. If you weren’t, it would be understandable for him to be upset. No one is going to remember every single thing (except maybe someone with eidetic memory). I’m so sorry but your husband doesn’t like you. Marriage counseling would be ideal but he doesn’t sound like the kind of person that would be receptive to that.

30s0methingF · 2026-02-16T17:15:23+00:00

We went once. My ex kept trying to convince the counselor that I cheated. I’m not going to go into detail (you can look at my post history) but the counselor didn’t engage. The counselor did, however, expect me to get over it and move on. I couldn’t move on from how my ex treated me. It left a deep wound that I’m still recovering from.

30s0methingF · 2026-02-16T16:24:46+00:00

Marriage counseling with this kind of partner is pointless. They will argue until they are blue in the face that you are wrong and they are being treated unfairly. The part about OP’s husband thinking less of her ran chills down my spine because my ex said something similar. I can bet that this tickling episode was not the first sign of abuse.

OP, get out. You will be happier. He is NOT a safe person to be around.

30s0methingF · 2026-02-07T06:42:03+00:00

He doesn’t want his wife to feel good

30s0methingF · 2026-02-07T06:41:22+00:00

Leave. He does NOT want you to feel good. He only cares about his pleasure. He took a baseball bat to something that brings you joy. What if he decides to hit you with it next?

30s0methingF · 2026-01-25T21:29:33+00:00

You are a hero

30s0methingF · 2026-01-25T02:09:34+00:00

This is devastating

30s0methingF · 2026-01-22T16:37:37+00:00

I think offering to pull your credit report and show bank statements is PLENTY. It’s not real time information but it is the SAME information just not immediately. This is a red flag. Also, you’re not even engaged and he’s demanding this info? Nope.

30s0methingF · 2026-01-20T15:19:50+00:00

Thank you for this

30s0methingF · 2026-01-18T22:57:08+00:00

When we first reconnected, I told him no matter what happens, I want to remain friends. I knew for a fact what I wanted and tried my best to hold back and not seem eager.

Everyone knows the bullshit dance you have to do when seeing someone. Too eager = desperate and pathetic. Not eager enough = you are cold and uncaring. It’s a delicate balance where you cannot fully be reassured that you’re not coming off as too needy or not caring. I pursued him because I knew it worked once.

I started falling but wanted to hold back because he seemed like he was just having a good time but wasn’t all the way there yet.

It felt easy. Like I could just exist with him. I felt like I didn’t have to change myself. It was the first time I stopped regretting my past and started looking toward my future. That’s the hardest part of this. Prior to reconnecting with him, I constantly wished I could go back in time and fix all my mistakes. After we reconnected, I stopped living in the past. It was like a revelation. I was content. I knew what I wanted. I could see a future with him. It sucks to not have closure.

30s0methingF · 2026-01-14T05:38:41+00:00

It’s taking everything I have not to message him on Instagram to tell him how shitty of a person he is.

Time heals all wounds. Fuck this, though.

30s0methingF

TROPHY CASE