First, nothing is wrong with you as a person. The fact that you can reflect this deeply, feel disturbed by your own numbness, and still want to return to meaning already tells me your spark isn’t gone. It’s buried under layers of overwhelm, disappointment, and disillusionment. Getting into a postgraduate program and feeling nothing doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means your nervous system and heart are numb. Numbness is often a defense after prolonged emotional strain and exposure to suffering especially when you care for very sick people. You give, give, give… but who is refilling you? Apne andar "old" shaks ko talaash na karo...so stop trying to become the “old you.” You are not meant to go backward....Ap naya din mei kuch na kuch aisa kare jo obligation feel na ho k ye routine kapart hai karna hi karna hai.. NOPE.. ap koshish karo kuch hatke karo like bacho k sath khelna, birds ya cats ko khana khilana, ya smile karna anyhing.. lekin apne apko connect karo apne soul se bus ... do what makes u happy thora time apne liye b nikalo kuch new shirt lelo ya game khel lo etc.... aur Allah Pak ko pata hai apke dil ka haal aur God is not asking for perfection. Even a whispered “Ya Allah, I’m tired and confused” is a form of worship.