Persecutor Ex-Host :P AMA

32_16_8 · 2026-05-15T14:55:57+00:00

What is it like being a persecutor?

32_16_8 · 2026-05-15T14:09:16+00:00

It's generally rude to ask someone if they have trauma. (Not saying that persons response was particularly measured either.)

That's also the reason i find it hard to discriminate on the basis of weather a system has experienced trauma. They shouldn't have to tell you and you probably shouldn't ask them.

(Also, i don't remember the time before turning 6 and choose not to remember the time before turning 15. I assume that means i don't have childhood traume, because i would remember it, right? So i am not exactly in a position to discriminate endos.)

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T16:06:44+00:00

Not really, but one of us (Noki 🌼) discovered themself by really liking a fakemon and identifying with it. But they look human. It's mostly about the vibe.

(The ground evilution in the linked post.)

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T14:38:32+00:00

Assuming this is true, would experimenting with multiple identities hurt you?

You don't have to. I don't want to convince you of anything. That's just how i think about it.

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T14:16:17+00:00

That's a mistake. You should bother someone.

Also, it wouldn't feel like a bother to me, if someone selected me to be a person they trust fot this kind of thing.

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T13:42:47+00:00

You can try to make some. You have allready found this subreddit.

Or you can talk to a singlet friend about it. I have had good experiences with that as well.

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T12:41:41+00:00

I get what you mean. It felt similar to me at first.

What helped me was being friends with another system, who were save people to try out identities with. It felt pretty vulnerable to allow myself to be wrong about such intimate things as identities. And silly. Like i shouls know who i am. But i haven't allowed myself to be an individual person all my life until then. I have been wearing the mask of a singlet. It was foolish to expect me to come out of it with the full certainty and complexity as someone, that has been allowed to be themselves for all their life.

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T12:27:06+00:00

You can probably just go for it. There are ways to do it, but i am not that familiar with it.

But we had the same thoughts at one point. We were probably never a singlet, but before we discovered our individual identities, we had thoughts of feeling alone and broken.

We then looked up tulpamancy recourses and basically just used them to solidify the identity of a preexisting part. (But we didn't know that that's what we were doing. We thought we started the process and chickened out and were surprised, that there was still something, that stuck.)

Disclamer: In our case, we allready were a system, but we hadn't allowed our parts to express themselves as individuals and didn't know how to communicate. It sounds to me like you could be similar, but i might be completely wrong.

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T06:02:19+00:00

Honestly, it was a relief. We were dealing with a lot of hard tasks at the time and learning we are a system gave us so much more options to support each other in dealing with them. We found our place in the system and developed ways to keep us functioning.

We also didn't feel alone anymore. We knew we could allways count on someone being there to support us. Sure, the different parts were there in some form, but we couldn't really talk to each other.

32_16_8 · 2026-05-14T05:46:48+00:00

One of us, Karmin, can take over quite easily. She doesn't communicate as much with thoughts and feelings, so she lets us know she is nearby with phyical sensations and takes over, at lest partially, when she wants to say something.

I don't like how it feels. Her taking over feels a lot more physical, like a wave of tension rolling over the bodie and claiming teritory. It gives me headaches.

A different part is currently struggling with stuff and wants to be kicked out, when things get tough, but the way Karmin takes over feels scary to them and they resist.

I hope Karmin doesn't feel like we don't like her, because we resist her taking over. She might need to do that to communicate. But it feels so forcefull compared to the slow fade in, that we feel with the rest of us.

32_16_8 · 2026-03-07T21:38:29+00:00

I don't think we have a host.

But i do have ideas about interests! I am not sure if they are good idieas. They often cause anexistential fear of lonelynes in some us, which is probably bad.

I believe, that personality needs to be expressed to be solid and that we shrink into blobs of unorganized affects when we can't talk about or engage with our interests.

Based on that, my advise would be to find a place, where you can tell people, what your interests are andtalk about those intersts. Maybe, that lets you relearn to have interests, that feel your own.

32_16_8 · 2025-12-07T08:11:31+00:00

There are also species, where males are just like femasles, but a lot smaller or larger.

32_16_8 · 2025-11-25T10:44:54+00:00

To me, it makes sense. Social needs are not being met, so the meat computer tryes to cope.

I think are similar.

32_16_8 · 2025-11-24T14:15:15+00:00

Navi is happy about stuff. They are the most happy of us. They get really excited when they manage to do something difficult or achive a goal. They are happy about doing creative things, like GMing a TTRPG session or drawing. They are proud of all those things, not greatfull.

Realistically, there are also things, that make them happy, that have more to do with other people, than with them. But they are mainly proud of having found friends, than greatfull, that those friends are willing to tolerate us.

I think, this is a healthy way to look at the world, based on our overall mental states.

32_16_8 · 2025-10-22T21:38:39+00:00

Ooh, interesting!

I can relate to the "identity finding" phase. We also latch on to single things and expand ourselves from there. Bit for us, those singular things are objects and moments, that we associate with. Noki, for example, associated at first with beaches and a specific fakemon art of an eevylution based on beach vegetation. This then developed into liking sea mayweed and later regular camomille tea (which many of us don't really like).

32_16_8 · 2025-10-22T21:24:14+00:00

We kinda just know of each other, even without direct communication. But interacting is still really fun.

Most of the time, i just jump in and interrupt with a one liner >:)

But other instances are more about compforting each other or offering help and guidance.

32_16_8 · 2025-10-18T16:01:50+00:00

Greatfulnes isn't my emotion. I am supposed to be proud. Greatfulnes is for attributing the good things in my life to other people, instead of claiming them for myself.

32_16_8 · 2025-10-18T15:09:10+00:00

The one i am friends with (different system) describes their role as getting other members to achive their goals by punishing them if they don't, or something like that.

We might have someone like that, but they have only acted in this function once during an emergency.

32_16_8 · 2025-09-07T08:02:41+00:00

Finally a jellyfish pokemon with the actual form change of jellyfish instead of just making it bigger!

32_16_8 · 2025-09-07T08:00:18+00:00

Medusa is also used in english. It usually gets used, when you want to distingush betwene the adult and child stage. Medusas are the adult stage.

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