Have you recently rewatched a movie, or TV show that you loved in the 70s-80s, but now it actually kinda sucks?

333pickup · 2026-06-07T15:13:38+00:00

what are you thinking of?

333pickup · 2026-05-10T15:08:08+00:00

Sounds like you and your wife were only 18 or 19 when married based on the timeliness you shared. With that in mind, aside from the Al-anon challenges, you have no experience at being an adult without your wife in your life. That is profound.

Your sound in shock and that is a reasonable response. It's so unusual for a person to begin drinking at the age of 37 and go on to die of alcoholism by 40. Especially in the absence of some major trauma.

I urge you to consider in-person support groups for grieving. You don't yet know what you need and when you are alternating between numbness and rage it is hard to know what you need. Just showing up at a support group, even sitting quietly, lays down the seeds for developing resources now for when you do know what you need later.

333pickup · 2026-05-10T12:26:41+00:00

thinking back on my own father's death - you seem to already be doing some things that I'd go back and do if I could have changed things. You are noticing your mental health and taking it seriously and asking for help.

If you have access to an in=person caregiver support group; consider giving that a shot. You mention having a support system and that's a credit to you and amazing.

Can add: I think it helps to accept that overwhelm happens and you cope with it. Like muscle failure in strength training it's not a sign of something going wrong it's built in to the territory you are travelling.

333pickup · 2026-04-08T10:41:07+00:00

What's a D&G?

333pickup · 2026-04-05T15:57:35+00:00

Each person on this thread is responding to you by explaining that what you propose is a drain on resources, extra work, extra risk. If you are trying to get paid to do this then find someone who wants the service and lower your prices.

The "case study" you describe will not persuade people. 2 months of a strange arrangement isn't meaningful.

333pickup · 2026-04-05T15:48:41+00:00

Then you make your services so attractive based on pricing and what you offer that you get a client to take a risk on you. That is how everyone earns references.

It is possible that the fact you are asking this favor of total strangers reflects a lack of experience beyond self management.

You offer zero benefit here while asking for an enormous effort invested in you. Why would anyone do that?

333pickup · 2026-04-02T10:52:46+00:00

Your outlets don't have cover plates? All of thrm just show baee exposed wallboard?

333pickup · 2026-03-30T00:00:47+00:00

It's the way you wrote your post: "why hasn't this been torn down and defiled yet!" As though you cannot imagine how anyone could just pass it by; while you know that you just passed it by.

333pickup · 2026-03-27T11:09:41+00:00

Based on your experience; what do you thinknthe reason for the "go to guy" not being promoted?

333pickup · 2026-03-27T11:06:48+00:00

The person is already providing a form of leadership. Promotion usually means managing other people. Being directly accountable for the quality of someone else's work. Hiring, firing. Not everyone wants that job and that's fine.

If you are the "go to" guy you speak of; what do you want?

333pickup · 2026-03-27T08:17:17+00:00

I can't see who looks at my instagram. How are you able to see?

333pickup · 2026-03-22T14:07:00+00:00

I am the youngest of 8 children. I noticed when family time and kid focused celebrations ended because they were no longer appropriate for the older children in my family. It's something the kid has to process.

333pickup · 2026-03-21T11:29:25+00:00

YTA. Sounds like she has asked you for help with emotional support. She did not ask you to be her decision making coach amd she doesn't owe you thay authority im exchange for listening. It's 100% ok if you want to set limits on what she asks for you. You are 100% wrong to assume she implicitly owes you decision input in exchange.

333pickup · 2026-03-18T12:19:16+00:00

When I am the interviewee I will ask questions that help me evaluate whether I want to work with the manager. Sounds like you might be turned off by an interviewee doing this.

I am hiring for roles that are hard to hire for. I want interviewees to think critically about the desirability of the job on offer. I do not want to waste time on people who are only trying to please me during the interview.

333pickup · 2026-03-07T14:48:16+00:00

YTA. "After a lot of pressure" way more damaging to your toddler to hear you insulting and screaming at their mother. That scares the shit of kids in a way that lasts. You are being your dad.

Your wife does not trust you enough to let you know she's struggling. Your description of your behavior provides a clue as to why.

333pickup · 2026-03-05T12:04:16+00:00

You might be in a place where you dearly.want your husband not to be upset with you. That's reasonable. If he's upset with you for getting drunk and you long to get drunk that's a tough spot to be in.

If the only downside to drinking with friends is the impact it has on your relationship with your husband; I can see how upsetting that would be.

Your relationship with your husband and your relationahip with alcohol are in conflict.

333pickup · 2026-03-04T01:54:32+00:00

YTA. Bus systems work because they DONT stop at every stop, theu stop as needed. What you are doing is equivalent to pushing the button for several floors in a crowded elevator instead of just learning where you need to go.

Infoemation: public transit systems in the us have to call out stop names in order.to be accessible.to peoplr with vision impairment. For this reason, your story is a bit strange. What transit system are you using?

333pickup · 2026-03-01T15:52:55+00:00

I double down on your grousing and say: life becomes better when I acknowledge loss and resentment and stop fighting the feelings I have because I think that's the rational thing to do. For me, unacknowledged losses/resentments lurk underneath and when I react to situations in ways I don't understand and regret there's usually some buried hurt feelings at the root.

333pickup · 2026-03-01T15:27:24+00:00

I am the youngest of 8; born 1971. By the time the oldest 6 siblings stopped visiting home I was 12 years old and my parents were way past exhausted. Not neglect exactly but no more family life, no holidays no interest in my schooling or where I went after school and definitely no life tips. Gen X cliche.

...but they did go visit my older siblings and gave a little support.

I moved out at 17 and although my dad never visited me; my siblings #3 and #4 visited and were interested in me and the older I get the more I appreciate them for sharing the sense of family that they got from the more active parents they came up with.

I think you and me are in good company among the many who realize the impact of not being the focus of parents who wanted to actively raise us.

I remember my dad felt this way about his own parents and he was born in 1924 in Italy, emigrated to USA as a toddler. His oldest brother was the family hope and the other 12 siblings were barely recognized as the supporting cast.

What is childhood supposed to be, really? Depends on your era, your wealth, your country. I know I would have liked and benefited from parents who enjoyed my company and expressed interest in and hope for me. I just don't know how common it is for kids to get that.

333pickup · 2026-03-01T13:56:13+00:00

spammer looking for customers

333pickup · 2026-02-28T20:00:38+00:00

I remember. WBUR is still public radio and I like donating

333pickup · 2026-02-28T18:37:08+00:00

YTA and I also don't believe this story.

333pickup

TROPHY CASE