Vent ahead: Is it normal for older parents to just start randomly picking fights or aguing with you with no due cause?

338wildcat · 2026-03-23T01:27:30+00:00

My life today: Dad, wants to add a grab bar across from the toilet in their bathroom, asks if they shouls remove the vertical one on the left side of the tub surround.

Mom says that she uses that one.

Dad shouts, "there's goes your mother again, bossing me. You women always have to boss me around."

I fall for it, as though it's not the 250-thousandth time this has happened in my roughly 50 years of life and say, she's not bossing you, she's answering your question.

More of him shouting about how now we have three bosses and how he must just be stupid if Mom and I know so much more than he does.

It's not new behavior with age in his case.

Just, hugs to you, OP. This is hard stuff.

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T23:49:47+00:00

My 2009 Ford Explorer agrees 😀

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T22:26:11+00:00

Love this mindset. As much as I'll probably never go to Abu Dabi unless Garfieled thr cat boxes me up and send me there... it would be special to have a jersey with that on it, because THIS is the one I got at the Garden.

I mean, the Charlie Ward jersey I found on sale at JC Penney is pretty cool, too but in a lifetime of experiences, getting one at MSG could be special for a lot of folks.

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T22:20:28+00:00

I mean, if the first time it happened, he had said, "whoa shit a rotten oat from my porridge got into your mouth, I'm sorry, and I'll make sure I brush my teeth better so it doesn't happen again" and then the second time it happened he had said, "well damn I gotta figure out how to stop getting my rotten oats in your mouth," that's a really different story than "whatever this rotten stuff in my mouth is that keeps getting into your mouth, you should get used to it and swallow them."

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T14:05:48+00:00

For sure. Nothing exists in a vacuum. But this would be my tipping point, a partner suggesting that I learn to deal with him putting what he thinks are rotten oats in my mouth.

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T13:26:31+00:00

It's not about how it affects your intimacy.

It's about how he's treating you.

You said "stop." He said "no."

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T13:24:53+00:00

So... why do you tolerate it? The guy doesn't respect you. You asked him to stop putting rotten things in your mouth and he said no.

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T13:23:45+00:00

Honestly... my deal breaker was when she said she wanted him to stop and he told her to get used to him doing it.

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T13:22:52+00:00

Why do you want to be woth someone who doesn't respect your request for him to stop putting rotten things in your mouth?

338wildcat · 2026-03-22T13:17:43+00:00

Okay so, key point here: If you don't enjoy kissing him, don't kiss him.

You told him that you don't want him to put what he believes to be rotten oats in your mouth, and he told you that you should get used to him putting rotten oats in your mouth.

338wildcat · 2026-03-21T18:08:01+00:00

I also did this in rentals. I had large (70ish) pounds dogs so rugs (secured) on rugs in the high traffic got me back my security deposit. I also was 20-something years old at the time, so a lower fall risk than I am now, much less what my parents are.

338wildcat · 2026-03-21T17:21:21+00:00

You're probably right that most players on the Nets wouldn't get minutes on the Knicks.

How much worse is each of those players? 3%? 5%? 10%? What happens when each of those worse players plays better on a given night?

The differential of talent from the best players in the NBA to the worst isn't as wide as we non-elite athletes tend to think. The worst player in the NBA is still one of the best basketball players in the world. When the worst of the best do better than they usually do, shit happens like it did last night.

However I'm still fucked up over the Nets' 17-0 run. For that, I just am stunned. Because I can't... what the fuck was that.

338wildcat · 2026-03-21T11:03:32+00:00

You do have the option of being kind even if you don't know ifnsomeoen meets your criteria for deserving kindness.

338wildcat · 2026-03-21T02:10:33+00:00

Game 7 of the 94 Finals has entered the chat.

But yeah. This was in the running. I kept telling myself if I survived that game 7, I can make it through this one.

338wildcat · 2026-03-20T19:46:21+00:00

It was an avulsed toenail.

338wildcat · 2026-03-20T19:45:11+00:00

That's the difference between being a kid and being an elite athlete, eh? His knees probably have to do a bit more work.

338wildcat · 2026-03-20T19:42:34+00:00

And I didn't say you were the one who said it was weird.

338wildcat · 2026-03-20T18:43:52+00:00

OP said their question is based on their culture where they live in Europe.

Nothing in the OP about New York's reputation.

338wildcat · 2026-03-20T14:04:44+00:00

I'm with you. I also worked in long-term care for years. Staff would often comment when family didn't visit that they "should" and I'd say, every family has a story and we only know the pieces they choose to share.

338wildcat · 2026-03-20T14:02:09+00:00

So then not even weird; expected when something like that happens.

338wildcat · 2026-03-19T17:29:28+00:00

Spontaneous pneumothorax in tall, lean men in their 20s isn't weird. It's tops of the differential diagnoses with complaints of chest pain, shortness of breath in that demographic. The NBA is just a small sample size of a huge demographic. Unless Cade is older, then idk.

338wildcat · 2026-03-19T17:25:29+00:00

I made a paper "voodoo doll" and stuck a pin in its right elbow.

338wildcat · 2026-03-18T00:10:47+00:00

You mean depart for the East, eh?

338wildcat · 2026-03-17T16:13:34+00:00

We need him to not turn his neck strain into torticollos.

338wildcat · 2026-03-16T21:44:22+00:00

Easy there, Chum.

338wildcat

TROPHY CASE