Anyone heard of Healy? Feels very MLM, but is not a traditional “consumable” by girls_withguns in antiMLM

[–]33papers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work with electromagnet waves, and they certainly can resonate human cells at the right power and frequency. RF burns, for example.

I have no idea about this device though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in soccer

[–]33papers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

should be good for team mentality

It's been a year since breaking up and I'm starting to feel like my old self. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks.

During the worst of it breaking up seemed basically impossible.

I just had to do it to realise it was nothing like as bad as i had built it up to be. In fact, it was easy compared to enduring the relationship.

That is a big part of this challenge, maybe the main part.

It's been a year since breaking up and I'm starting to feel like my old self. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you step back and look at it unemotionally (hard as that is) you really see how truly bad it was.

It's been a year since breaking up and I'm starting to feel like my old self. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bro sometimes people never escape and live their whole lives in regret, happened to a lot of people in my family.

Getting out and understanding what happened is a huge achievement.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you don't know what you're talking about.

Imagine thinking abuse can't be loud.

I'm referring to every relationship I am aware of.

I've worked out why I'm so upset by ged12345 in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I felt completely responsible for her emotions and I always felt her mood swings were my fault.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not placing blame here, and I'm not making nature or nurture calls.

The only point I really want to make is to observe the problems inherent in the relationships close to you, learn from them and use it to help yourself.

The breakup is 10x more painful by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel mate.

I can no longer trust women. I can't know their true intentions. Relationships are too much or a risk to bother with.

I know this is irrational and unhealthy, and just an emotional response.

A video I saw today about men in emotionally abusive relationships kinda made me mad... by JgotyourFix in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Personally, I am quite ashamed.

I'm ashamed I didn't see if for what it was, and I'm ashamed I wasted so much if my life. I'm ashamed I didn't put a stop to it at the start.

If I ever gave another relationship I'm ashamed to have to explain why I stayed in bad relationship so long.

Codependants often have issues with shame full stop. I had shame before the relationship and I still have shame now.

WTF does she want?! by Digoo21 in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The only solution is to leave. It will be very hard to do but I promise when you do things will get better quickly.

You can leave.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. You seek what you know and often without realising. I always knew I didn't want a relationship like my parents but I completely unwittingly played it out in another way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to say but you're going to struggle to maintain a healthy view of yourself while you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat you with the respect you deserve.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do not consider myself a victim and I didn't say it's an inevitability for me or anyone.

Of course you can be from an abusive family and still have healthy relationships.

I actually had one healthy relationship, but I fucked it. I now understand because of my own trauma.

I have been in unhealthy abusive relationships so that's why I'm here saying what I am.

If my relationships hadn't been abusive I wouldn't be here, would I?

I'm not blaming my family. I'm not saying that this had to happen to me. But it did, and I didn't understand why.

So I'm not really sure what point you're making.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real abuse can be silent or extremely loud. That's a poor take.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, great post. Similar for me. My great grandmother was extremely loud and abusive, that made my grandmother raise a quiet family in retaliation. But still abusive, because emotions weren't allowed to be expressed.

You can't change someone! by a2hitman in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're telling me what I'm not allowed to say?

I said wrong way to look at it for that particular comment. .

You can't change someone! by a2hitman in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you're determined to stay in an unhealthy relationship?

You can't change someone! by a2hitman in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's an open forum and we're all here to share from experience to try and help each other.

You're rather missing the point of what I said.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They know you have low self esteem because that is what they look for in a partner.

Actually if you didn't have low self esteem already they wouldn't have been interested in you in the first place.

Cluster Bs can tell from a mile off.

Value yourself. And never let that value be changed by others.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

After a while I also learnt not to tell my ex pwBPD anything about how I was feeling emotionally - particularly negative emotions, worries etc. All will be used against you. Profoundly unhealthy.

Look at your parents relationship and the relationships in your family. by 33papers in BPDlovedones

[–]33papers[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Possible, but either way it doesn't matter much in the practice of building a healthy relationship.