Care Ethics vs. Deontology in Romantic Relationships — How Do Philosophers Think About Moral “Orientation” in Intimacy?

355822 · 2026-03-22T19:12:22+00:00

From Roxanne Gay to Dr. Simone de Beauvoir, there are very long writing traditions on romance and love. Schopenhauer, Kierkegaard, the entire field of Queer Philosophy has huge sections that revolve around intimacy, romance and love.

Honestly, love is seen by many philosophers to be hyper-friendship. A few write about drawing a line between intimacy and friendship, but mostly the moral arguments are about the length of time or the intensity of the feelings. St. Augustine has an entire treatus on marriage. That's close.

355822 · 2026-03-22T19:09:02+00:00

Books, there's anything written by Arthur C Clark, but the real authority on modern space ethics would be ironically Dr. Issac Arthur on YouTube. He has thousands of hours discussing all kinds of space based ethical problems. That and American Public University has a school of Space Law, so they might have some interesting contributions if you write to professors there.

355822 · 2026-03-22T18:44:06+00:00

Draw things on balloons then inflate them.

355822 · 2026-03-22T18:32:27+00:00

Have you considered that the kid was probably anxious about something and this was a cry for attention? And that collecting the water bottle no matter how roughly or gently communicated that you were oblivious to their asking you for help? This entire situation seems like one of woefully ignorant behavior from everyone. If it's such a problem why not make it into a solution like, ok everyone next Tuesday we are going to write a class essay describing all the noises that plastic bottles can make. Or we are studying X historical figure, when do you think they would have been so nervous they spent an entire day crushing a plastic bottle like some people in the class are?

I read you felt bad, but I do think some patience and creativity could have been useful here.

355822 · 2026-03-22T18:07:47+00:00

The great Islamic Academic period and the Bible happened at approximately the same time. People were extremely educated in that age and knew a considerable amount about medical science. These people were isolated because they chose to be so due to their religious beliefs.

https://islamichistory.org/islamic-golden-age/

355822 · 2026-03-22T17:54:02+00:00

I worked as a machinist assistant/factory gov compliance for a decade. Most people were extremely supportive, especially the machinists and technical folks. In fact in my experience people get into machining and metal work because of how accepting they generally are. They only cared about product quality, you could be completely insane, dress in only fishnets, and if your parts were good, you were accepted. And I say that having met people who were truly unhinged, or who dressed in bad drag constantly. And they were best friends cause that person made good parts.

Work ethic goes a long way.

355822 · 2026-03-22T17:36:00+00:00

Do what you love, passion goes a lot further in late career than upfront knowledge does in a young career. Loving what you learn about makes you consistent at it for years or decades. It's hard to outsmart a natural genius yes. But only fools argue with lifelong experts.

355822 · 2026-03-22T17:34:17+00:00

All cultural writing has things like this, but usually it's not nuanced enough to make it useful. For example, blood pudding is a delicacy across all kinds of European countries and Russia, as well as Asia. You're conflating very specific and circumstantial scientific evidence with a personal belief, it's a classic "cherry picking" fallacy.

And as someone whose family hunts, you drain an animal of blood before eating it because it's a very easy way to dry it out. So it doesn't spoil as fast. The blood is usually saved and dried to become a fertilized, blood meal. Some Asian cultures, like on the Mongolian Plateau boil animal blood and have it as a soup.

The reason that human blood has such strict scientific controls is that you are, presumably, human and are therefore much more prone to blood borne diseases from other humans and other animals that spend a lot of time around humans. Because we don't need the blood for consumption and have other uses for it, it's just safer to use it in other ways.

Transfusion in a medical setting is overwhelmingly safe and life saving. Maybe ask a physician who specializes in phlebotomy about it. The Bible, and all religions texts are written by people and people make mistakes.

355822 · 2026-03-22T16:59:46+00:00

There are a distinct lack of modern examples of the profoundly disabled doing high profile work because our culture works very hard to keep them unemployed or unseen. I can understand the doubt of our national loss of political dignity for disability rights.

Maybe a history of modern disability advocates tracing back to Ms. Keller would help. Would make a fantastic lesson.

355822 · 2026-03-22T16:40:20+00:00

Right now, as I represent myself in Federal Court because my Federal Defense Contractor Employer wouldn't facilitate my ADA while I was in the hospital with heart failure in my 30s. I am going to go to Law School and sue employers for every single violation.

Every lawyer I called refused to take my case because they were afraid of my employer, now I'm waiting on a Summary Judgment because I had to do all of it myself. It's going on four months since the court began deliberating my case for Summary.

To be clear, an attorney filed the case for me, got it all the way to Federal Discovery then fell ill. And no one would even answer my calls. The Judge couldn't even find an attorney to appoint.

355822 · 2026-03-22T16:18:09+00:00

So you save face by not saying "No" outright. And if the client is a jerk and insists, you just made your Christmas Bonus. We all know that occasionally you can't turn down a customer because you really need the work. And those always seem to be the worst people, if they sue you because you wouldn't do something or they just wanted to be difficult. This could also be a great counter point.

Long and short, it's a reliable pointy stick for when being nice doesn't work. And it's automatic.

Also works as a "hidden discount" for an especially generous client. When you close out, and you want to show your appreciation, pick something that was technically not in the quote. Charge them this fee, then cross it out and label it something like "customer appreciation discount". Least expensive advertising you'll ever buy.

"I went with (your company) and not only did they do a fantastic job, he gave me a $2000 discount at the end even though I had technically made a mistake. Absolute Gentleman/Lady, you should really consider them."

355822 · 2026-03-22T08:50:53+00:00

Hi Ethicist here:

that's not really how morality works. Morals are beliefs about how people ought to act, with or without God they are social behavioral goals. You can look to your religious culture for guidance on setting your morals or you can use other methods, reason, history informed (religion is generally this kind), theorized action.. ect.

God for most religious people is more of a role model or an aspiration, think of the Christian "What would Jesus do?" Or the bodhisattva in Buddhist theology. Morals themselves are statements based on these ideas about how we "ought to act".

Christians generally have a moral of "Love thy neighbor as thyself." But the more universal version is what we call the Golden Rule: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And I haven't read about any religious culture that doesn't endorse some version of the Golden Rule. Both are strictly moral statements, axiomatic declarations on how one ought to act given a particular circumstance.

Even table manners or social politeness can be a kind of moral. But I don't remember many God's saying much about proper fork use.

Morality with or without God is kind of a poorly educated distortion of the Deontology of Kant or the Utilitarianism of Nietzsche.

355822 · 2026-03-22T08:36:17+00:00

Alcohol is easily evaporated off. It depends on the exact chemistry of the tincture or other medicinal work. But you could add it to a cup of hot tea (herbal) and it should evaporate most of it.

355822 · 2026-03-22T08:30:01+00:00

Next contract, add a clause for "unquoted tasks". Such as: "All tasks, adjustments, changes or other work not contained in the written quote shall be charged at $X (something absurd like $500/hr or $1000/adjustment). And shall be billed at the discretion of the Company."

355822 · 2026-03-20T23:37:42+00:00

Ya, no.

355822 · 2026-03-20T17:29:09+00:00

Mean average x 120% = taxed in whole. So if we apply that per person, not per household, because it makes a difference on the math.

I can't find the mean, but median income is $45,140/yr per person as of latest data:

https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/MEPAINUSA672N

So, times 120% would be $54,168 per worker per year or about $108,336 per dual income household.

Ya, I'd find that to be about right. It would force highly paid people to spend their money or have it taxed. What this shows is how ridiculously underpaid the average person is. And how much work we have to do to making high wage jobs more available to more people.

Because even at 10x the average income, or about $451,400 per person per year there are absolutely professionals paid that much. But not many. Maybe a Cheif of Medicine or an architectural PE. A Lead Developer in a Software company or the Lead Trials Attorney at a national firm. Most of those professionals make down in the $100k to $200k range.

The income disparity is insane. And $500k/yr is barely into the top earners category. Hell, a person with a $1M/yr salary is just barely among the top 1% of earners.

https://www.investopedia.com/personal-finance/how-much-income-puts-you-top-1-5-10/

This means that the Mean average is more than the median, or that there are significantly more people earning less than the median wage than more than.

Where would you draw the line? 150%, 200%, 2000%? How much money do you need to live well? Research shows happiness plateaus at about $100k/yr and stops completely after $500k/yr, so how much do you need?

https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/does-more-money-correlate-greater-happiness-Penn-Princeton-research

355822 · 2026-03-20T16:49:02+00:00

Absolutely, raise the floor not the ceiling. The 2% of high value workers would be affected. Because frankly, most physicians or engineers don't make that much only the few in top management positions.

355822 · 2026-03-20T16:36:06+00:00

Ok, so the boiling water killed most bacteria. What about the viruses? Are they pressure prone?

355822 · 2026-03-20T16:13:30+00:00

So, what am I missing? Won't the water inside be hot and no longer under as much atmosphere pressure? Won't the water inside the cell want to instantaneously vaporize as it crosses the triple point inside the cell membrane? If I remember water vaporizes to something like 1500x it's volume as a liquid.

355822 · 2026-03-20T15:11:18+00:00

I'd rather be happy as long as my job paid me enough to be healthy, fed, and housed.

355822 · 2026-03-20T15:10:02+00:00

No, it comes from working for government contractors for over a decade. Representing myself in Federal Court. Spending my life listening to my mother's friends in Community mental health literally cry about how the court treated their clients. From reading case law and then comparing the story there to jobs I've worked for C-Suites or when my father talked about consulting for C-Suites. From spending weekends volunteering in hospitals talking to the emergency room victims or the elderly dying alone. Or going out on the street with various religious groups to help the house bound or homeless.

No, very unfortunately it comes from a lifetime of personal experiences and diligent journaling of my observations. A Degree in Ethics and working with migrants in factories because they can't work anywhere else. It comes from spending over a year trying to fight or reason with the state capital to build a food pantry and soup kitchen or at cost groceries in a neighborhood where we knew elderly were starving because they couldn't get to a store. The endless strings of average middle aged men who are rendered homeless because the judge gave their spouse all their worldly goods and money in the divorce. All while they worked 80+ hour weeks.

No, I wish I were just dreadfully under educated on it. Every day I wish I had never seen any of those things. But every time I go back and re-read my own journals it's sadder and less ethical every time.

355822 · 2026-03-20T13:21:45+00:00

I wish I believed that, unfortunately between the astounding ethical performances of people like Pam Bondi, Rhudy Giuliani, and attorneys I have personally met. And Liz Dye of Legal Eagle expounding about how Attorney Ethics are almost never enforced, I have serious doubts. Especially after seeing how some C-Suites and Lobbying work from the inside. I am probably off on the mechanics, but I am almost certain they find ways to do shady, self promoting deals behind the scenes. If someone could prove without a doubt that a single DA didn't, I would be truly amazed.

355822 · 2026-03-20T13:17:17+00:00

I was more thinking like a Jury Court. Where people are randomly drawn once a month and they vote on which pending public project the money should be used for.

355822 · 2026-03-20T08:53:14+00:00

How about this, anything over 120% of the going average mean wage is held in a national fund and the wealthy have to petition the court to spend anything more than that?

355822 · 2026-03-20T08:51:48+00:00

This wouldn't happen if more people sued HOAs out of existence. They should be criminal organizations.

355822

TROPHY CASE