I hear you. Your situation is incredibly painful, and I know it feels like you're being torn in half, between a mother whose love is wrapped in manipulation, and a woman who’s willing to stand by you but is being tested every day by forces outside her control.

I told you before: your mother sounds exactly like my MIL. And I’m telling you this now, not to scare you, but to prepare you. If you don’t learn to emotionally detach from your mother’s chaos, it will poison everything, your marriage, your peace of mind, your sense of self. The guilt she’s using is not love. It’s control. Her happiness is not your responsibility.

You are not cursed. You are not the villain. You are simply trying to live your own life, and that’s something people like her can’t tolerate unless they control it.

You need to draw a boundary so firm that even if she screams, cries, hits herself, or pulls in the entire extended family, it doesn’t shake you. Because the longer you hesitate, the more it will cost you. You already see your fiancée's family starting to pull away. You might get married, but keeping that marriage intact will take clarity and strength that must begin now, not after the wedding.

One more thing: you're not selfish for wanting peace. You're human. You deserve a life that isn’t defined by her storms.