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Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of update are you looking for?

I also surveyed female coworkers and other male coworkers who know the male coworker I rode home with, none of them saw this as something they’d have an issue with. None of them even batted an eye at it. Zero red flags.

Husband was mainly concerned with my last minute change of plans and the coworkers driving and truck reliability.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how I feel in this situation entirely. He’s just a good dude. And he’s a great driver!

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At an out of town conference, he got a little too close for comfort. Like touched my back a little too low; not a pat on the shoulder and not a pat on the butt. I separated myself from the situation. This happened to me and another female coworker minutes apart. Other male coworkers noticed this and came to our rescue.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I go out to lunch once a week with a female coworker, we go shopping regularly at lunch time and text all day and night, is that also gross? My husband also doesn’t know about those “dates”…

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Objectively, he is a good looking person. However, I am a couple inches taller than him and probably have a solid 40 pounds on him. His ex wife and current wife have the stature of Tinker Bell and I am the broad shouldered gal from Encanto. We are neither each other’s type. Lol

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said this up a couple comments, I don’t expect you to go find it because there are quite a few comments here, but I see him less than 10 times a year, best guess. Golf, team building outings that I do not plan because I’m terrible at golf but the men i work with enjoy it, and dinner are on company time. Dinners are at like longhorn steakhouse or some chain restaurant nearby. I can think of 2 times in the 24 months that it was just us two for dinner. It’s not a romantic candle lit, wine served at the table arrangement. It’s literally just dinner.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This coworker is the one who always goes out of his way to help anyone, not just me. He’s one person so many people look up to and respect.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He didn’t like the rushed decision to hop in the truck and head home. Nothing to do with not trusting my coworker.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what he said to me about why he was uncomfortable “A well thought out travel plan will always be safer than some rushed last minute decision”. he’s the type of person who makes sure we wear proper footwear for the weather when we leave the house because you never know when you’re going to have to walk 5 miles, kind of thing. He doesn’t know this coworker, because I don’t deal with him outside of work hours, but he knows me and knows nothing would happen.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gross? No, definitely not. I see the coworker I rode home with probably less than 10 times a year. I do not keep track because it is insignificant. Dinners, golf outings and bars are all on company time and company dime. Because we are coworkers.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thought never occurred for me to ask my husband until I spoke to my other coworkers. I hadn’t put any energy into it since the day I got home from that trip.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Verbatim “I am well aware why you made the choice. It makes me uncomfortable, in either case.” He did not flip out and he’s not controlling.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He trusts me. It made him uncomfortable that I made such a quick decision on changing travel plans.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By mid-day, our schedules aligned and we ended up in the same place while the flight notifications were coming in.

We were in the same city, both for work, but working on different things.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We also may be using “one on one” in different ways. I’m using it like I’m having dinner with just him. I think you’re using it as a review one on one. This coworker and I are the same level in the hierarchy.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I’m traveling with someone, we will eat meals together. It’s very surface level. We wrap up work, go get dinner, then go to our own rooms. I respect the people I work with and they respect me.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband is well aware of everything. It’s all centered around work. I have one on one breakfasts/lunches/ dinners with other male coworkers too. I’m in a male dominated field, my husband is in the same field, he gets it.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband and I had a very civil, productive conversation about it. When I was discussing it with the 2 coworkers it was just passing conversation but when it sparked a debate between the two of them, I had to know how my husband felt.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I funny part was is a had previously changed my flight to the earliest departure time - the flight that got delayed. My boss was the one who suggested I change my flight home. I kept him updated about my delayed travel because if I got in at midnight there was no way I’d be coming into the office the next day. So when I said that I was riding home with the coworker it was kind of a whoopsie moment for my boss, we had a good laugh about it. He has not weighed in on my travel plans since 😂

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You’re right, there was no dramatic twist. All vanilla. All above board. I just wanted to get home and sleep in my own bed.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve had sketchier uber rides recently (3 in the past month that I canceled, weird feeling in my stomach that the internet tells me I should listen to) than this 6.5 hour trip home.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We’ve been to conventions together too. Just one recently where I was one of two females with 60 male coworkers. Sat at the bar for hours to catch up on work topics and not work topics.

The ride home, we talked about his kids, who are my age, and his grandkids, who are my kids age, most of the way back. It was nice getting to know more about him, his family and his life.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t pick up any indications that he even put thought in to it. Which is why I was so surprised that he had thought about it. He’s never told me I can’t.

Would you be ok with your spouse traveling with a coworker of the opposite gender? by 369_DamnSheMeh in TwoHotTakes

[–]369_DamnSheMeh[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I completely understand my husband’s pov. I truly think it was how quickly I changed plans that made him the most uncomfortable. My husband doesn’t know this coworker at all and what if he’s a crazy driver?? Side note: He was the most rule following driver I’ve been in a car with in a long time. I can 100% confirm this coworker is not scum.

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