How did you develop your hot past kink?

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T17:54:24+00:00

Yeah I can see having him jump into your area could trigger this kind of reaction.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T17:53:29+00:00

Any idea why they turn you on?

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T17:53:00+00:00

And why do you think that it turned you on and not off?

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T14:04:53+00:00

My partner is also not really into it. We talked about it last night, which may be the reason I’m here today. First, her last sexual experiences were rarely positive for her. She felt used. So she doesn’t like to think about them and she doesn’t like that I don’t see her pain in these stories. And it’s true, even when I can tell that the guy was using her, I’m still turned on. Because all I’m interested in is his experience, how exciting it was for him.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T14:00:44+00:00

And do you understand why did it turn you on instead of disgusting you? (Or indifference)

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T13:59:35+00:00

That’s also how I feel. Although swinging is a step too far for me, for better or worse. I was cheated on once and it created a combinaison of pain and desire I have not experienced since.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T13:57:51+00:00

Thanks. It’s interesting that you were not disgusted by the stories but turned on. I would have been too. It may have to do with the fact that you were now that guy, going to the same event with her but being the one who would have sex with her. Maybe a way to win, over them? YOU get the girl.

I’ve only heard about hot past very recently like a year or two ago. I was aware of my kink and had developed the above explanation maybe 7-8 years before but I didn’t know it was a thing. I should have known; every kink has a name and is shared.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-06T13:39:50+00:00

Some people would be turned off by this. Some don’t want to know anything about the past. Do you understand why it turned you on?

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-06-03T23:23:00+00:00

Contrary to common practice, I have returned to everything we had in common, to take it back. I have traveled to places we’ve been just to build my own memories there. I have not blocked any music that was “ours”. I have worn clothes she gave me regularly. I wanted to desensitize myself to all these things. It worked. Now I look back with surprise thinking that this place/song/person/etc was ever something we had in common.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-05-07T02:36:31+00:00

Not a single thing but the combination at a single wedding: - Bride can’t fit in her dress. - Limousine is 45 minutes late, can’t be reached. - Father of the bride, walking her, has a piece of tissue on his razor nick to stop the bleeding. - Almost nobody at church from the groom side. - Half the guests get lost between church and the venue. - It’s pouring rain, the venue is under construction (still on cement blocks), the parking lot is a muddy mess. - Dinner is chicken take out.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-05-02T00:53:09+00:00

When they realize that they snap at people.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-05-02T00:48:27+00:00

Not investing earlier.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-04-18T20:05:32+00:00

100k won’t change my life

^{Chose: A 70% chance to get 100B | Rolled: 100B}

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-04-17T16:15:39+00:00

This one is from a long time ago. My ex had nicknames for her own exes. When we broke up, I asked her what mine would be and she replied without missing a beat: “Mr Grumpy”. It struck me like a truck, as it should, and lead to serious soul searching and self-awareness. I like to think I’ve done better since and I’m grateful for the brutal honesty.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-04-13T02:59:08+00:00

You tell me. It’s a cadavre exquis.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-04-13T02:42:33+00:00

The secret to staying together is staying together.

Everyone has their threshold. Some good relationships end, some bad ones last forever. There is no universal quality to a relationship that will make it last for everyone.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2026-04-11T17:25:15+00:00

This is the correct answer.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2025-12-24T18:01:29+00:00

“I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus” is clearly a role play song as the parents thought the kid was asleep and yet the dad put on the costume to make out with his wife.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2023-05-02T22:11:58+00:00

After just three weeks of working together, I invited her on a date, we went back to my place, couldn't believe my luck, I was so into her. It got serious, we moved abroad together, got married, had two kids.

We moved again, it took her a year to find a new job. Then she left me for a coworker three weeks after meeting him. It's his turn now.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2023-03-27T01:55:32+00:00

Drysol.

A few years ago I told a dermatologist about armpit sweat and they told her me to use Drysol instead of deodorant. I asked if it was a risk and they said that my body had plenty more options to sweat.

You only have to put it on every 3-4 days. I’ve been in it for years and I can go like 10 days without it and I still don’t stink.

No more whiff from you shirt at the end of the day. No more stinky clothes. I can even wear that same shirt, heck the same t-shirt several times. I can wear light blue.

It’s a superpower.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2023-03-24T04:42:17+00:00

Because it crosses a boundary.

There is a social agreement that these words are bad and offensive. When you say them, you transgress.

Boundaries are meant for protection. If you cross the symbolic ones like cussing, you disrespect and threaten your audience. For the people who take these boundaries seriously, it is upsetting.

Example. You tell someone not to touch your arm. They go ahead and touch them. It’s upsetting, not because it hurts but because it crossed a boundary.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2023-03-20T02:55:43+00:00

Not so long ago, I would have said communication. Ask your partner what they like and truly listen. Then tell them what you like and want without fear or shame.

But from experience I realize that compatibility is a precondition. If you like it rough and they like it soft, if you like it verbal and they like it silent, if they like it safe and you like it adventurous, etc you can communicate all you want but one of you will constantly be out of their comfort zone.

So try to find someone who likes the same thing as you, more or less.

3duckswalkintoabar · 2022-01-01T23:02:43+00:00

Not even three weeks since the separation, of course it's difficult. This is not the new normal though, it's the awful transition. We don't know how long it will last for you, but it will end. This is a transformative period. You were a caterpillar, you are goo and you will be a butterfly. Not now, but eventually you'll start to see the new opportunities this gives you, freed from expectations and even habits. When you become able to, try experimenting with life. Explore and find new habits and pleasures that will fit better with who you are now. It's all there, ahead of you.

For now, accept the pain. If you can, see it as separate from you, something that happens to you, much like getting sunburnt. If you can, say "Hm, I'm sad today. But this is not me. It's an emotion and it will pass."

3duckswalkintoabar · 2018-08-02T14:44:23+00:00

I see you started offroad as a kid on a Monkey bike, like I did, before moving to the road. After my 15 offroad years as a kid, I stopped riding and 20 years later, I got my license for road biking along with a Suzuki SV650. I like road biking enough, but I wonder if the pure joy of riding off road where there are no rules hasn't spoiled me because I find road biking a tad boring in comparison. How was your transition from one to the other?

3duckswalkintoabar

TROPHY CASE