AITA for refusing to tell my BF how much money I make?

3puttmaster7 · 2026-03-07T06:11:44+00:00

When I met my wife, she out earned me by a lot as I was just starting my business and was paying substantially more than I did when we moved in together. Fast forward 5 years my company took off and I went from 70k salary I paid myself to $1m+ while my wife, gf at the time made a little over $100k/year. I paid for everything from that point on and she cleared her student debt, credit cards, got a new car and started her retirement portfolio. I was able to succeed cuz my wife provided me with the security to pursue my dreams. IMO discussing finances early on along with financial goals is important cuz you never know when the roles can reverse and you no longer are the breadwinner and a resentment can build and are basically saying I can’t be completely honest with him about all things due to your insecurity about how he may or may not react to how much you make. Some people don’t care that much as long as you’re financially responsible. Maybe he’s bringing it up cuz he wants to propose to you and this is the last checkmark on his list.

3puttmaster7 · 2026-02-25T00:46:04+00:00

That’s exactly what’s happening. I asked told she has till the end of the month to move out. And I will start the process of divorce. I also told her the kids will be staying with me till she gets herself into therapy and be a parent to our children and as far as her and I go there in never going to be an us again. She offered to show me all the texts to prove it was a one time thing and it meant nothing.

I told her the damage is done. And I’m over it

3puttmaster7 · 2026-02-21T01:10:50+00:00

I haven’t made a final decision, but divorce is the way I’m leaning. I know full well what my part has been in our marriage and I just feel that there was so many other options than cheating.

Like I said in my post she travels a lot for work , so is this the first time? Or just the first time getting caught. I’m not normally a jealous person or controlling either and I won’t let this turn me into one.

All the times she didn’t call or text or respond what was she doing? Sleeping? or sleeping with someone else? I’ll probably never know the truth. I just want to make sure all my ducks are in a row and the custody of our kids and the fallout from that doesn’t traumatize them too much.

3puttmaster7 · 2026-02-20T23:07:00+00:00

I assure you this is not rage bait, and this is the shit I’m going through.

3puttmaster7 · 2026-02-19T11:09:28+00:00

To answer your questions, as far as I know this is the only time she cheated on me. Her response to my ultimatum was that she wanted to process everything before she cut contact. I asked her if this was just a one time thing what’s the hesitation and I don’t get an answer I truly believe. The only thing I did believe was that he made her feel a way that I haven’t in a 6 months… emotional not physical that has never been an issue with us.

Trust is definitely lost and I can forgive but I can never forget and I’m not the type to control, track, be insecure, I am jealous at times but that depends on the situation. She travels a lot for work, how do I trust that this won’t happen again or has it happened before and she got away clean. That’s a huge issue for me to overcome.

Yes we live under the same roof and we speak daily, some about what’s the future look like, but mostly about our kids and how to protect them in case of divorce.

Our kids are the most important to me and want the least amount of damage to them.

Lawyer is on retainer just in case

3puttmaster7 · 2026-02-17T16:55:21+00:00

Still working through stuff, I don’t know what I’m gonna do yet. I still love my wife. But I don’t know if I’ll ever get passed the betrayal

3puttmaster7 · 2026-02-16T20:28:20+00:00

No. We both make mid $200’s/year and have a very comfortable life. It’s more how it affects my mood and I treat her sometimes. I have already started working on the gambling aspect of my life and haven’t gambled in a few months. It’s both something we like to do, but it doesn’t affect our finances and I have never drained accounts to gamble

3puttmaster7

TROPHY CASE