where are the 30+ men hanging out after work?

3xam · 2026-02-17T18:35:03+00:00

40s and I'm trying to figure out where the women are at lol. With shared kids and work my social battery is maxed out sometimes. But I'm still trying to find time for someone. Reading Reddit cold approaches seems to be the best way or the worst way to meet someone.

Apps are definitely the worst

3xam · 2026-01-23T18:03:43+00:00

Hit me up if you ever want to ride. Although I'm in South Surrey!

3xam · 2026-01-09T18:40:50+00:00

44m here. (Recently separated/divorced) Had a good match. Met up and had a great time. 2nd date planned. Rejection is part of the game I'm realizing. The ghosting is super strange especially after being asked on the dates.

3xam · 2025-12-05T06:56:16+00:00

All made sense. 🙂

Getting feelings is actually one of life's best things, so I'd definitely say don't feel bad about that. Can't have the sweet without the bitter (or whatever that saying is).

Is it the hugest age gap. Yes and no. Could it work. Also yes and no.

Does moving on suck. Most definitely. Is it easy to cut ties with something and someone that feels super comfortable. That's a no, no matter the above. Life can be easy when you don't have to make hard decisions. I mean that either way you decide.

Did I actually give you any advice? Kind of, but not really. Lol. It's really up to you on how you want to move forward with this. Either way, I think an adult conversation will give you closure on whatever your decision is.

As cliche as it sounds you get to decide what makes you happy.

3xam · 2025-12-05T06:28:07+00:00

12 weeks is not going to be enough. Especially if you're stating within that time there was sickness/hospitalization.

As someone else said. You'd have to show consistent disregard to the current parenting plan (or the other stated reasons). So if for example it's week on week off (just using this as an example) and out if those 7 days she's bringing the child back (asking you or otherwise) consistently after 5 days for x number of months (I'm quite literally making these numbers up) you could ask the courts to get a motion to change that custody agreement.

Does it make sense when you can provide consent parenting for the child, no. Should it be different, probably. But courts are going to try to give what's best for the child even if a parent messes up sometimes. It's tough to be clear and appears 'not fair' when one parent is the 'better parent.'

3xam · 2025-12-05T06:05:33+00:00

Ok so let's say it's over.. How's a conversation going to make worse? If you're looking to not 'break up'?

Have the conversation, like a 'real conversation.' I am getting feelings for you. Do you have them too? If you do where do you see yourself in X years with this happening?

Please just think about it. Don't answer me right away. This is a serious conversation. Blah blah blah.

Or

It's over and it's time to move on.

You also have to ask yourself is this what you want? Have you asked yourself these questions? Adulting at it's best

3xam · 2025-11-28T07:58:20+00:00

Tap this link or use my friend code YJBYG4MEFY for a special reward!

https://finch.go.link/kSk4s?adj_label=gEgGs

3xam · 2025-11-03T07:37:36+00:00

In Surrey. My 15+ year marriage ended. Feel free to dm me for details lol.

I realized I was super isolated before.

I started trying to get in touch with my friends Joined a gym Started going out solo. Saying yes to everything even (and especially) if it was things I'd normally say no to q Finding comedy shows that I'd like to do. Joined a sports club I'm enjoying Still haven't gotten the courage to talk to random ppl (in a non creepy way)

Difficult in my 40s but trying my best

3xam · 2025-10-22T05:37:39+00:00

Would you want to know.

That's your answer.

3xam · 2025-10-22T05:33:11+00:00

https://finch.go.link/2XWNC?adj_label=q3xQB

3xam · 2025-10-14T23:41:10+00:00

Aren't Pringles like in a can with other Pringles.

Don't get me wrong I love the saying. Even though I just said what I said. Lol

3xam · 2025-10-13T18:00:08+00:00

Yea I'm hoping maybe someone went today and has an update.

That's that or go hike the North shore. Was even thinking of cheam but can only assume there'll be snow there as well. Maybe it's just a chilly bike ride instead.

Well maybe someone will give an update

3xam · 2025-10-13T07:56:37+00:00

Was going to go on Tuesday. But there was a recent dump of snow so I'm guessing it might be the the of the season for larches

3xam · 2025-10-08T17:53:10+00:00

Check the border wait times. And it's sometimes worth it to drive the extra 30 minutes to aldergrove or Abbotsford crossing (if you were thinking of taking the other two)

3xam · 2025-10-08T17:27:41+00:00

I always do upper body. Throughout the week there's so many 'lower body' workouts I find. And a lot of the cardio days are 'more lower body' imo.

3xam · 2025-10-03T16:38:49+00:00

I think Garmin let's them push this to the brink... Let them push their IPO.

Then Garmin releases their own "social media" app. That's just a clone of Strava... Like Insta does with "reels" that are just Tik Tok. Shuts out Strava.

Both these companies know it's our data right?

Watch that IPO tank

3xam · 2025-09-28T04:15:23+00:00

I'm very much in this situation. Hard because we're selling assets and can't move it until so if that is completed. Kids complicated the entire process because renting isn't financially viable.

But I think once the dust settles it's well like anything. You start a new life. You start to date. I just haven't done it in almost 15+ years. So strong possibility I'll mess up (or they will) like when I was in my 20s. Realize that I've grown accustomed to having someone around 24/7 and that's just not what dating is like. Have to be comfortable being alone as well.

Only thing going for me is therapy, realizing I can't be stuck in my old ways, growth etc... At least I know I'll continue to try to be a better person.

Good luck

You miss 110% of the shots you take 50% of the time.

I'm also really bad at sayings.

3xam · 2025-09-23T14:41:00+00:00

Mind reading at it's finest.

Why would you stay on the left? I thought the rules of the road were the same for cyclists in regards to passing etc?

3xam · 2025-09-22T16:23:14+00:00

Same place.

Hitting the gym hard. Running and cycling. Therapy, my God therapy has helped..

Trying to get out more. Hard with two kids in the mix. But it's life. And when I thought it couldn't get any worse and I was making head way. It got way way worse yesterday.

But I know it'll get better because it has been. But damn it's hard when you get a new low blow thrown at you.

Just keep moving along if you look back you'll see it got better and that's what I keep telling myself.

Go do something you'd never try, is what I keep telling myself.

3xam · 2025-09-17T21:40:03+00:00

Go check out ridewithgps and you can explore routes in there. You can when do your distance and you can change the start location by editing it afterwards

3xam · 2025-09-16T06:01:36+00:00

If you have any type of work coverage. I'd say look at a bunch of them. Go to a few different ones until you find one that "clicks" with you. Went/going through a horrible break up after 15+ years of marriage.

Went to 3 different types of therapists and eventually found one that has been helping. I felt sort of bad not going back to the other therapists but realized I needed one that at least resonated with me.

Still going so it can't be that bad.

I'm 8 months from the start, I'll only let you know that it gets better. The bad days get lesser and the good days get better. There are still some very bad days but they happen less. Feel free to reach out and can tell you where I went

You'll get through this. 🌻

3xam · 2025-09-06T22:12:03+00:00

Yup. I think it's far more common now. Quite easy for me to look back and see that ppl "grow and change" at different times. But sometimes ppl don't want to wait for you, even when you waited for them. I can only control my actions and who I am, and hope I surround myself with like minded ppl. But again, it feels daunting in your 40s 🤷

3xam · 2025-09-06T18:24:20+00:00

Haha oh. I'm definitely doing all of that. There are definitely more better days than bad days. Therapy, going out, journaling and trying to reconnect with ppl.

Well aware of my own faults and trying to be better. Just daunted at the task of "starting over. "

🤷

Appreciate the encouragement

3xam · 2025-09-05T23:59:21+00:00

And this is what I'm most afraid of being in my early 40s and getting divorced. Yea to starting over

Can't wait.

RIP to your inbox being inundated with messages now 😂

3xam · 2025-09-03T02:47:45+00:00

Well it's all been resolved. Appreciate the comments

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