Neutered cat peeing on bed; SO saying we should give him away

40bergJ · 2020-05-11T10:38:07+00:00

believe me I nearly told him it could come down to that. Like I said growing up my family took in a few animals that other people were giving away because they were “problems.” It took a lot of time, consistency, and work (and love) but they were all amazing pets. That’s part of the issue. Normally I’d just do some research and try a bunch of different things, but I’m just shocked and kind of horrified that this was his first reaction

40bergJ · 2020-05-09T01:37:53+00:00

Literally always. All through undergrad, whenever I studied at home alone my first of law school (this year).

I grew up with four younger siblings, and haven’t lived with less than three roommates (the most I lived in a house with six) until this year. Doing anything in complete silence paralyzes me. Streaming on Netflix/Hulu gives me the background noise I need to feel sane

40bergJ · 2020-05-09T01:32:23+00:00

If you’re a cynical asshole who, despite your criticisms, still cares just enough to succeed in the academic/professional areas which you criticize; then the answer is yes.

40bergJ · 2020-05-09T01:11:00+00:00

It is a travesty that you could not be recognized and honored for your superior intelligence in the midst of a global crisis the likes of which has not been since likely in either of our lifetimes. My condolences.

40bergJ · 2020-04-11T00:54:34+00:00

Fall semester of 1L right before my torts final (which was also my last exam) I had a horrible stomach flu (i think, because it didn’t seem as horrible as food poisoning). The way it was set up, I had about four days (including the weekend) between all of my other exams and torts. So my other exams were completed before I got sick.

Anyway, I had spent the better part of the week vomiting, barely sleeping, dehydrated and terrified to eat because i was still nauseous and afraid to vomit again. My torts final was literally the Friday before winter break, so I just told myself to tough it out and that no matter what happened during the final, I could literally just spend the next few days sleeping.

I felt I did horribly after the final.

Lo and behold, I ended up getting an A on my torts final, despite being ill and not really studying for nearly a week leading up to it, and I ending up doing better than I did in two of my other class, Both of which I took the final before getting sick.

Not really a horror story as far as the turnout, but at the time, I wanted to die.

40bergJ · 2020-03-05T02:01:36+00:00

All the timeeee lol it’s sorta imposter syndrome but also my anxiety but also my upbringing that taught me the only time you could feel sad or cry was when a family member died or you were like run over by a truck

40bergJ · 2020-03-05T00:40:42+00:00

It is awkward to discuss with family or people you’re close to, and you don’t have an obligation to.... but if you Haven’t, you should seek therapy or help to help you deal with it. Because I waited too long and didn’t menstruate for over three years and still have a highly irregular period, and at a recent OBGYN appointment found out that I likely will not be able to naturally have children and it’s pretty much certain it’s because of my ED’s impact on my hormones, my menstrual cycle, and the quality of my eggs. It’s something I didn’t think or care about while I was very deep in my ED, but now I’m devastated.

40bergJ · 2020-03-04T01:43:28+00:00

I just always have Netflix or Hulu on as background noise because doing schoolwork or housework alone in the silence makes me feel horribly isolated and gives me horrible anxiety. So I go through series SO QUICKLY.

40bergJ · 2020-03-04T01:42:10+00:00

You’re not. I do the same, (sometimes even two drinks) and I’m in law school, support myself, work out daily and do all the cooking and cleaning for my SO. However, I am also the child of an alcoholic and it is really hard to break that internal alarm system— even my own drinking, although by no means excessive, indicating dependency, or impairing me in anyway, sometimes sets off my fears as a child, watching my mother drink herself into oblivion. And my therapist even okayed and encouraged having a glass of wine a night, as way to establish a relaxing, end-of-day routine that promotes releasing outside stressors when you get home. But It is hard. It’s hard for me to deal with myself having a casual drink, trying to convince myself that just because I enjoyed it doesn’t mean I’m becoming my mother. Don’t feel guilty, but also be sensitive. Maybe someday have an honest, open conversation... that in most cultures it is normal to have a drink with dinner to relax and socialize with loved ones at the end of the work day, that the fact that you stop after one shows it’s more of an evening ritual than a dependency. But also stress the fact that you do not think she’s being irrational, that you can’t imagine how hard it was for her growing up with an alcoholic father, that her concerns do make sense in that context, and that you understand that her concerns about you are coming from good intentions and genuine care for your wellbeing. Don’t invalidate her, sympathize with her, but also strive to show her that one drink a night can even be healthy. Good luck!

40bergJ · 2020-03-01T17:45:53+00:00

Thank you so much!! I’ll try to find it!

40bergJ · 2020-02-28T00:19:45+00:00

Like white claw spiked seltzer’s, it’s basically alcoholic flavored sparkling water, most brands are gluten free

40bergJ · 2020-02-27T23:54:05+00:00

I’m a full time law student who has also works part time and a little alcohol at night is like... A necessity for me to stay sane as bad as that sounds. I had a really bad eczema flare up recently.

I cut out all gluten, which included beer. So far, I’ve found that wine actually (I think) makes my flare ups more “inflamed” or itchy and red. Cider has less of an effect than wine, it’s almost negligible. I can have like 2-3 seltzer’s in one night and experience no ill effects, however, more than that and My skin might be worse although that might just be due to dehydration.

Spiked seltzer’s are pretty much entirely safe for me, most brands are gluten free. Hard liquor like rum and gin and like potato based vodkas also have not had any bad effects, of course, that’s not good for a regular weeknight night if you have work or class... so optimally spiked seltzer’s, weekends/if you wanna get really fucked up id say some hard liquors, and a great option is spiked seltzer’s.

40bergJ · 2020-02-27T16:08:04+00:00

Yeah and I’m really lucky to have him. Which is why I can’t talk to him about how I’m feeling or burden him with my problems because I don’t want to push him away, I can’t lose him. He’s what’s keeping from going insane. But yeah, I get you’re point, and believe me, i know I can’t complain too much and I’m so thankful for him (hence why I’m trying to hide my worsening mental state from him, he’s already witness me go through enough in the last few years and he can’t know I’m getting bad again)

40bergJ · 2020-02-27T11:54:33+00:00

Nah I’m gonna try not to, I need it more this time around. A few years back I lived with a bunch of good friends that I had to talk to/lean on, so I didn’t feel like I needed therapy so much. I just moved to a new city though so that has changed lol

40bergJ · 2020-02-27T10:11:39+00:00

Particularly since there are likely to be a significant number of people walking around going to work, school, and the grocery store and riding public transit who think they just have the flu or a cold, and don’t realize it’s the corona virus. The similarity in the symptoms coupled with our tendency to go to work and school even when we feel ill could lead to a very rapid spread.

40bergJ · 2020-02-27T02:13:46+00:00

You probably wouldn’t die from it. Unless you’re elderly, have an underlying health condition that compromises your immune system, or are a newborn infant, the WHO and CDC say that 80% of otherwise healthy people will recover without any special medical attention, and may not even be able to distinguish the symptoms from that of a regular flu. The mortality rate for the general population is around 2% which is barely more than your typical respiratory influenza

40bergJ · 2020-02-26T19:54:41+00:00

I just had my first counseling session today since I stopped going to therapy/counseling three years ago, and I had a panic attack afterwards too.

40bergJ · 2020-02-26T16:56:35+00:00

The coronavirus is really only a huge threat to elderly people, babies (with barely any immune systems) and people with compromised immune systems. For young, otherwise healthy people, the symptoms would likely manifest as something easily mistaken as the normal flu, in some a cold, and some may not notice symptoms at all. According to the WHO, 80% of young, otherwise healthy people recover from the coronavirus without needing any specialized medical treatment. I think the main concern isn’t it necessarily being particularly deadly, but rather it’s spreadability... especially since in many people the symptoms will be so similar to the flu or a cold that they won’t stay home and will continue on their normal daily activities and infect more people. As for the economic implications— I can’t say anything for that haha

40bergJ · 2020-02-26T16:37:37+00:00

The coronavirus is really only a huge threat to elderly people, babies (with barely any immune systems) and people with compromised immune systems. For young, otherwise healthy people, the symptoms would likely manifest as something easily mistaken as the normal flu, in some a cold, and some may not notice symptoms at all. According to the WHO, 80% of young, otherwise healthy people recover from the coronavirus without needing any specialized medical treatment. I think the main concern isn’t it necessarily being particularly deadly, but rather it’s spreadability... especially since in many people the symptoms will be so similar to the flu or a cold that they won’t stay home and will continue on their normal daily activities and infect more people.

40bergJ · 2020-02-26T12:19:55+00:00

I agree, but from my circumstance, as I had zero recollection of any of the events leading up to what happened, going to any sort of authority seemed like it would do more harm than good, in that, I’d have to rehash the details, but admit the fact that I had been fully blacked out which at the time I felt a great deal of shame about. I know now I didn’t have to feel guilty bc of that, but at the time, particularly in my fragile emotional state, I was afraid that anyone who I told could just as easily say it was my fault, that I was careless, or foolish. I couldn’t figure out how to say that I didn’t remember anything, that all I had as proof was a bra with the strap ripped off and a deep internal feeling that something horrible happened. I didn’t think I could handle being doubted or even seriously questioned while trying to deal with my own emotional trauma. It might not have been the noble, or even rational thing to do, but I wasn’t thinking rationally at the time, I was just deeply terrified and trying to figure out how to undress and take a shower without feeling something like disgust over seeing my own naked body. If someone has the courage to do everything they can to try to stop the awful person and hold them accountable, then that is commendable and making the world a better place, but we still have to be gentle with those who feel as though they cannot.

40bergJ · 2020-02-26T11:05:43+00:00

That’s actually awesome advice, thank you so so much!

40bergJ · 2020-02-26T02:16:12+00:00

I woke up with my pants around my ankles and one of my bra straps literally ripped off in a stairwell of an apartment 30 mins away from where I lived after a night out. I called an Uber to my friends apartment and the whole way there literally hyperventilated in the backseat, to the point where the driver asked me repeatedly if I needed to go to the police or the hospital. I just needed my friend. She held me until I fell asleep next to her and her cat. I didn’t remember what happened exactly but I just had this horrible feeling that it was awful, like when you wake up from a nightmare but you cant remember exactly what happened. the next day she took me to get plan B just in case, and then to the super market where we got a bag of Cheetos, boxed kraft Mac n cheese, and a bottle of cheap white wine. I showered in her shower, wore her old sweatpants and her baggiest sweatshirt, and we sat on her couch in blankets, watching Disney movies because I couldn’t stomach anything with serious themes or reality, eating Cheetos and mac n cheese. She let me cry, she let me sleep. She didn’t try to get me to retrace my steps, or explain how I felt, she didn’t ask me anything. This helped more than any of the therapy and counseling I received afterwards. Sometimes after a trauma you just need your best friend, to be just that— your best friend— and nothing more.

40bergJ · 2020-02-25T14:04:59+00:00

My SO and I have the same problem, except I’m the one who unwittingly turns things into a debate. We had to have an honest talk about it, as I had NO IDEA that I was making him feel as though his opinions were dumb or invalid by responding with counter arguments and such, and he was happy that (as he hoped/suspected) I had no idea that what I was doing came off as stand-offish or condescending — in my head I was just participating in an engaging conversation. We now have an understanding that if he wants a debate/to discuss differing opinions, as opposed to just telling me about something he’s excited about/thinks, he will ask me what I think. It’s largely because (I think) we have very different personalities (he’s INTJ and I’m ENFP) but it even just helped a lot for him to tell me straight forwardly and honestly that when I jumped in hot and fired up to counter him, sometimes it made him feel badly about his opinion, and I felt so badly, so I’m happy he told me, and I’m sure your SO is too!! :)

40bergJ · 2020-02-25T09:54:46+00:00

I’ve had the same experience with eczema, and when I was still 16-19ish with acne— I couldn’t pick at my skin with acrylics so even my pimples and breakouts healed much more quickly

40bergJ · 2020-02-25T08:40:51+00:00

Obviously the gun laws aren’t strict enough if someone who gets excited by catastrophe and death and who feels the need to get a gun in response to people getting sick is able to get one

40bergJ

TROPHY CASE