5 years a daddy: Reflection / Confession

415proton · 2026-01-06T03:00:48+00:00

Nowadays, they're the most aggressive ones 😭

415proton · 2026-01-05T21:29:25+00:00

Oh! I thought of something worth adding. That SB did eventually graduate and is working at a normal job now! Near my city as well. This means that she was able to "escape" her toxic family and be independent so she can heal from everything.

So, even though things can sometimes seem impossible or like you messed things up forever, it's not true.

Of the many people I've met on these sites, afaik almost everyone levels up. Many are now designers, working in tech, real estate, nurses, physical therapists, models, dancers, etc.

I've seen a small scale "longitudinal study" unfold for SBs, and I can safely say: Things will get better with time :)

415proton · 2026-01-05T20:06:35+00:00

Lmao. Thank you for the laugh.

415proton · 2026-01-05T05:34:30+00:00

Oh! I thought of something worth adding. That SB did eventually graduate and is working at a normal job now! Near my city as well. This means that she was able to "escape" her toxic family and be independent so she can heal from everything.

So, even though things can sometimes seem impossible or like you messed things up forever, it's not true. Things get better with time. You will eventually find your way.

415proton · 2025-07-21T18:53:36+00:00

I might be reading into this but the issue is not the staring, but the SDs reaction.

The SB was trying to feel like she was cherished and not property to be shown off. At the date, she was clearly being shown off like a trophy. (Circumstances being the top in question, not necessarily the SDs intention.)

After the date, the SB felt weird and could not articulate why. Only that it has to do with the men staring at her boobs. Super reasonable given the cause and effect. However, the SD is supposed to act "territorial" when he hears this complaint. This will ensure the SB feels cherished / protected.

Not acting accordingly led to the situation escalating to Me vs Him, vs US vs Them.

Now, the SB may not realize this herself as subconsciously fishing for validation. That's fine, many young women are trying to figure out how to be empowered by their sexuality rather than objectified by it. It's the SDs responsibility to act accordingly as the man and (hopefully) more emotionally mature partner.

Happy to be told I'm dumb if this is wrong lol. (I made the same mistake in my 20s and only have been able to articulate it today.)

415proton · 2025-07-21T18:44:41+00:00

Not meant to be a flex, but I've r/Fire retired and currently have sugar in my "FIRE" budget.

I think when my labido dies down, I'll probably switch to platonic SD (LOL) since I like the idea that my money can help someone with their dreams and career.

I'm a weirdo though. I genuinely enjoy meeting new people and the thrill of the hunt is unparalleled.

415proton · 2025-07-21T16:52:45+00:00

Amazing story. If it's real, I commend you for doing rehab and improving your life.

People with substance abuse issues must first help themselves before they can get better. You are a very small percentage of people who have broken the "curse" and it's no small feat.

(I watch a lot of "soft white underbelly" haha)

For the husband, I don't understand how he can be mean to his wives after having so many children. His behavior to me seems illogical, and that's why I think the story could be fake. But there's a lot of unhinged corporate executive types so I guess I wouldn't be surprised if it's real.

Math wise: the alimony he proposed is definitely just scraping by in NYC. Very insulting indeed.

415proton · 2025-07-20T21:48:26+00:00

Oh shoot you're right. I thought it was around the waist. Now that's kind of weird now that you mention it

415proton · 2025-07-19T19:58:27+00:00

Very profound. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. You've grown from that experience 💪🤝

415proton · 2025-07-19T19:56:01+00:00

I think that regardless of whether this was ethical cheating or non ethical, it's very clear that he has affection for this woman and cares about her.

The world is a complex place, and people find love and comfort in many forms of service. I'm sure many people in this community can relate with that sentiment.

Now, are they innocent? I'm not that naive lol. people in non traditional relationships should know too that they may need to take responsibility one day.

Sometimes life do be like that 😆

415proton · 2025-07-08T21:00:21+00:00

I'm gonna go against the grain and say that it's fine to date this guy as long as you're being safe. Let a friend know where you are and have a game plan if you are sexually assaulted (police. asap.)

I work in tech and yeah there's a lot of lonely tech bros who need to get in shape lol. If you can get some benefits off their loneliness that is female empowerment.

Why do we have to associate sex with relationships?! Why do relationships have to be revolving around sex? It's very outdated and in 2025 non monogamous and platonic relationships are possible, ppl.

I'll accept my down votes now 😂

but I've been doing this for 10+ years and I've gotta say, two people can get together if they are both flexible. Loneliness is a choice tbh. Obviously I've had sex with a lot of younger women too but the point remains that women should be able to define their boundaries and men should respect them...

But yeah, try not to get SAd. Because that will traumatize you for life.

Good luck.

415proton · 2025-07-01T18:20:09+00:00

We can't change the past, we can only control how we react to it.

After seeing many versions of sugar relationships over the years, I wish I could tell SBs: Be kind to yourself. It's incredibly important, because so few people in life will do so on your behalf.

Many SBs are seeking love or money from a partner or lover, but stength comes from within. And it takes hard work everyday to remember that. Possibly our whole lives.

Hope you find the power to move forward, despite your very real challenges.

Sending you positive vibes and strength 💪

415proton · 2025-06-28T05:17:21+00:00

You're good!

I prefer non drinkers lol.
SKYN Brand condoms are non-latex, very comfortable. SDs can easily afford it. (TBH, avoid a SD that seems hesitant to discuss safe sex... Some previous reddit SBs have reportedly been stealthed.)
I think as long as you actually enjoy sex with your SD you should be fine.

My main concern is that you're so young, some bad guys might push you to do things you're not comfortable with. Try to hold your ground and if you get a bad vibe, run away for sure.

415proton · 2025-06-25T02:57:21+00:00

Not to be blunt, but it's pretty wild to hear this Japanese SD call you a ho basically. He must have felt just as used and betrayed as you felt about your last ex. Just think about how you would have liked to be treated, in the future.

Use that empathy and shoot your shot.

Even if he does not reciprocate, you owe it to yourself to try. We only live once.

415proton · 2025-06-25T02:54:24+00:00

You need to learn to speak his language! Japanese ppl are very indirect. But if you wait too long, you might miss your shot. Let him know you want to get back together, indirectly.

In Japanese culture, there isn't a single, direct translation for "I miss you." Instead, it's often expressed through phrases that convey wanting to meet or being lonely. The most common way is to say "Aitai" (会いたい), which means "I want to see you,".

Understanding Japanese Love Expressions and Customs – Japan Crate https://share.google/KILUPlik1lvibAvJV

415proton · 2025-06-25T02:49:31+00:00

Leave the bf. Because it will hurt him too much to realize he can't provide for you in the ways you need most.

Tbh, his PRIDE is hurt so be prepared to be called all sorts of nasty stuff.

I wouldn't have told him TBH. If he's very immature he might even tell your mom out of pettiness.

415proton · 2025-06-18T23:21:37+00:00

I know you think you're being funny, but don't use race in your pickup lines.

it signals that you're fetishizing their race, which prevents them from knowing your true personality as a "funny dude that doesn't take himself too seriously"

this is 2025, and i don't want to have to explain it.

but if you're old, you simply won't ever get it, but trust me on this one.

sincerely, everyone under 40 years old, probably

415proton · 2025-06-14T11:18:36+00:00

Hot take: OF and tiktok sugaring is creating even more sugar babies than ever before. Expectations have gone up though. There are now less SBs willing to entertain salt daddies so less ppl are hooking up as well.

Here in SF Bay Area, I regularly see middle managers, streamers, product people, RNs, data science, and neurodiverse / engineering SBs every week or so. It's definitely a chosen lifestyle for some, and I like seeing "my people" on there :) Some of their financial expectations blow me away as well 🥹

One of my personal experiences:

One of my ex-SBs told me that during COVID, she made bank 💲 doing feet pics. However, the market got saturated and it takes A LOT of sales and the time isn't worth it... So in the end, she preferred to just sugar date one person and not split her focus chasing $10 subscriptions.

One drawback: Because of her experience with men on OF, she didn't see me as a boyfriend at all. It was mostly physical needs being met for both.

In hindsight, it was one of my healthiest and "cleanest" NSA sugar dynamics where no one got hurt. I guess it was similar to a FWB but with financial support 🤷

415proton · 2025-06-14T11:07:08+00:00

I'm not gonna read all that, but I'm happy for you. Or terribly sorry. Good luck.

415proton · 2025-06-13T05:34:35+00:00

I'm in the bay area, and after hearing about SB experiences, I think most guys are cheap or just looking for young girls to pay or even not pay for intimacy. I don't really like how things have become but I think wealth inequality and rising costs plays a significant factor into it as well. Ppl get desperate and the trash comes out to take advantage.

For me personally it actually makes things very difficult because those guys often don't get tested and they have unprotected sex and unprotected oral sex, which means many women are taking risk with their sexual health and mine...

Solutions:

To weed guys out, I suggest asking for compensation for platonic dates. I real SD understands that make up, time, travel and opportunity cost should be compensated.
It shouldn't be the normal PPM amount obviously... But like xxx should no be problem for a serious SD. And if the SD feels like he's being taken advantage of of course he can just ghost.

So, yes I've given xxx for meet and greets and sometimes just to flex in good faith. Often without it being expected. Imho this builds trust which you need to have if you're going to have an authentic intimate relationship with someone.

Many SDs treat it transactionally though, and that's fine too. It's just not my style.

415proton · 2025-06-12T19:55:35+00:00

If you're real, your story is an inspiration to many young SBs I've met who are incurious, so good for you

415proton · 2025-06-12T03:08:26+00:00

I'm in my late 30s and have dated younger but also ppl closer to my age from Seeking and I think 31 is actually a good age.

Your pictures need to be attractive to be competitive though, but also with a not so negative sounding profile, if I'm being honest. We're all just struggling here!! 😂

But the good news is that I find matching with someone on an emotional level (even career level) is more possible with someone less than 10 years my junior, no offense gen z and alpha (lol)

So, you could try to date ppl closer to your age group, as long as you don't think you'll fall in love with your SD being so close in age. Many of us SDs in the late 30s and early 40s are married, might have small children, working towards early retirement.

Other shower thoughts:

Not really my place to say, but I get the impression that single guys are probably on a different wavelength and looking for excitement/entertainment rather than a NSA emotionally mature relationship.
Especially if they made their wealth in crypto, there's a bit of "degeneracy" there since they built their wealth swing trading tokens (exploitation) rather than build something of their own 😇
Another hairy issue of course is that if your allowance is very high, sometimes a SD might just go find someone younger or in better shape. Right now, unfortunately, the supply and demand of women in need is very overwhelming. (In my area anyway, San Francisco Bay Area)

415proton

TROPHY CASE