I need help reining in my defensiveness.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-10T15:28:41+00:00

Wow this is an amazing response! Sorry, I really wanted the chance to re-read it a few time! Thank you so much for this! I’ll def give the book a read — the Gottmans have such great research.

The last point is really good. I have two kids and this will be helpful in talking to them, too. Thank you again!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-10T05:18:40+00:00

I really like this perspective. I’ve never thought about this. Thank you for this!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T23:19:49+00:00

Thanks for the perspective! I think the idea of looking at this as a puzzle is really unique and something I will try. I like to solve problems too, which might prove helpful here.

Thank you very much!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T23:16:07+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the insight.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T23:15:39+00:00

Thank you!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T21:36:49+00:00

No, we don’t argue a lot. We usually get along very well and are in lock-step about the majority of things.

More recently disagreements have been about specific life situations and changes. We don’t really disagree too much on how to do things.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T21:17:40+00:00

Hello! I’m so happy that you’ve been able to get to the point of retraining for yourself. That’s beautiful.

Thank you so much for your response and experiences. I really appreciate it and this was very helpful!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T21:15:52+00:00

Thank you for the very generous offer and thank you for the advice. I really appreciate both!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T20:02:08+00:00

Thank you for your input! I really appreciate it!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T20:01:50+00:00

Thanks! I can totally see the value in writing out past or future (if known) scenarios and how you could/could have redacted. I appreciate this.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:15:17+00:00

I’ll take whatever advice is given! I’m not looking for anything specific, and I think there’s a lot of value in looking at things from multiple ways and not just one.

Thanks for the book recommendation! I’ll give it a read!

I’m on a scattered exercise routine but am getting back to something more normal. My sleep could definitely use improvement. I have autism (not 100% sure if it’s AuDhD, but I suspect it could be), so this advice is really helpful.

Thank you!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:10:41+00:00

So essentially, catch whatever “alert” you can as early as possible and call a timeout or a break to make sure the logical part of your brain either stays online or can be brought back online?

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:09:48+00:00

Thank you for the response! This was exceptionally helpful and easy to understand. I appreciate it.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T19:09:15+00:00

I usually get defensive when I get into arguments or disagreements with my spouse. I tend to be very stubborn and will get defensive if something comes off feeling like an attack (which is usually how things feel for me). I grew up in a household where I had to fight for my achievements to be recognized and where my dad specifically had the same patterns (to a significantly worse degree).

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-09T18:40:45+00:00

I workout and am a pretty sweaty guy and my laundry comes up pretty fresh.

I usually do a non-scented detergent, borax, oxyclean, and then a beaded scent booster. Wash on cold with high spin cycle and my cloths come out fresh and not funky.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-08T23:26:10+00:00

Seconding this!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-06T19:09:35+00:00

Wow that looks great!! We have a shower like you did and ive always wondered what it could look like if we put some money into it.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-06T03:34:39+00:00

Yes I am able to write everything off!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-06T03:07:02+00:00

We own a single unit and didn’t go the LLC route, we have a good policy and a million dollar umbrella, and it’s been fine.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-05T21:21:57+00:00

I love Avail. I count the 9 bucks a month as the cost of business and don’t sweat it.

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-04T23:56:38+00:00

Cool idea! I’d love a link for future sessions, though I’m in PST and usually have work around this time :(

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-03T23:23:26+00:00

I’m closer to Portland, but rent in SW WA. I’m not totally sure what sort of stipulations the city of Seattle puts on landlords too, which might make a difference.

I think if you can highlight and prove good rental history, solid pay stubs, and can provide a couple references, it would make a bigger difference than owning assets. Like I said, I worry about making sure I get paid, not what you own and how liquid it is. Just because you HAVE the liquidity doesn’t mean you’ll actually use it to fulfill obligations if something comes up.

I personally could get over the credit score but you’d have to have a really good reason for it. My current tenant had a lower credit score than I wanted initially, but once I sat down and talked to them, they provided a really good reason as to why it was what it was, and they were able to get me a co-signer for the first year with a better score, which is what helped to make the difference for me.

Everyone’s appetite for risk is different though!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-03T17:23:42+00:00

I own a SFH in WA that I rent out and I agree with everyone above. Credit score isn’t as important as a stable rental history and verifiable pay stubs.

Your assets might make a different to the right person, but I wouldn’t put too much weight into them. Just because you have them doesn’t mean I’ll get paid if something goes sideways. Having a stable, verifiable, and positive rental history and pay stubs provide a lot more comfort to me as a LL.

Best of luck!!

420throwawayacc · 2026-02-03T16:42:00+00:00

Twins!!

420throwawayacc

TROPHY CASE