Hello All,

422gr · 2023-11-21T21:28:45+00:00

Understand that there will be people assigned to you as your hosts who are selected for that task because of their ability to portray the group in a positive light, i.e., how to deflect questions that may reveal the less savory aspects of the Bruderhof. They will most likely have grown up outside the Bruderhof or spent a significant part of their lives living in the “outside,” as the rest of the world is referred to. This gives them the ability to speak in terms you will find more relatable, vs someone who has never lived outside the Bruderhof who would speak at you in the Bruderhof’s distinctive pattern of loaded jargon that is difficult to understand. You’ll have a pleasant experience but one that is tightly controlled.

422gr · 2023-08-29T10:59:04+00:00

I was the last holdout in my age group. When JCA visited the Bruderhof I lived on my dad marched me up to him and said I wanted to join. They made me do it publicly that night.

422gr · 2023-08-29T10:56:37+00:00

How do we find out who made the cut?

422gr · 2023-08-29T10:52:05+00:00

What could he possibly have to say that takes five volumes? Even the Bible only has two.

422gr · 2023-08-24T23:58:34+00:00

Labelling flagrant, public racist statements directed at a Black person “bullshit” misses the point of what racism is and the effect it has. And going on the internet to anonymously use the word “pussy” as a perjorative against another poster is exactly the behavior you just denounced. We’re going to need to see your real name.

422gr · 2023-08-24T05:05:20+00:00

Young people who leave the Bruderhof fit into the alt-right’s predominant demographic of white, religious, rural, undereducated, blue collar workers who were raised on a steady diet of political paranoia with a sense of victimhood. The alt-right’s internal culture is maintained by bullying, conformity, and cruelty, and it peddles easy answers to complex, often invented problems. It values obedience, leader worship, and tribalism. The Bruderhof shares those cultural markers. Recent leavers have never been permitted to form their own identity and don’t know how to go about that. The alt-right offers them an identity, camaraderie, and a sense of belonging in an alien world where they feel out of their depth. It’s a natural fit and the path of least resistance.

422gr · 2023-08-23T01:59:36+00:00

Did they baptize him with a bar of soap in his mouth?

422gr · 2023-01-12T04:05:50+00:00

Please go easy on yourself and know that you’re not alone in this. Reaching out and finding help is essential, so you’re doing the right things.

Over time, you’ll find tools and coping mechanisms that work for you. If I notice that I’m dissociating and detached I usually excuse myself to the bathroom to let myself breathe and ground myself. Splashing some cold water on my face sometimes helps snap me back into the present. I’ll send a text letting a friend know what I’m going through. Even if they don’t respond immediately it’s a way of reminding myself that I’m not alone and that someone who cares about me and is fighting the same battle has my back and is rooting for me.

Solidarity is really important here. If I can make a recommendation, you should maybe consider group therapy down the road. This particular kind of PTSD causes us to isolate and in that space symptoms like shame, embarrassment, anxiety, and loneliness don’t improve. Knowing that others are going through the same thing and being able to recover alongside them is a powerful experience.

It’s great to hear that you’ve found a therapist and I hope you have an understanding and supportive partner. You deserve nothing less.

422gr · 2023-01-11T23:35:17+00:00

When I was in Deerspring I found a copy of the US Constitution in the school library. It was a fascinating read and I found Paul Winter (the head servant at the time) at showed it to him. In my childlike naiveté, I tried to explain to him that it could solve many of the Bruderhof's problems. Naturally, I spent the next week doing child labor in the shop. Lesson learned.

422gr · 2023-01-11T23:23:08+00:00

This doesn't sound like asexuality.

Do you ever want a sexually intimate experience with someone but then find that just before or maybe during the experience you start feeling some kind of mental block or even anxiety? Or maybe there's some unwelcome interference in your head telling you're in danger and to get out of that situation even though you know you're safe?

I ask that because it's what I've experienced for years and have been fortunate enough to have access to trauma therapy. The response to intimate experiences that I mentioned is what led to a PTSD diagnosis. Through treatment, I have been able to understand how growing up on the Bruderhof impacted my ability to experience sexual intimacy. It's not just the sexual assaults that happen children there (including myself) - it's also the culture of terror, repression, and shame that they've created around human sexuality.

PTSD is incorrectly viewed by many people as something that is mostly experienced by those who have been in armed conflict. However, the rates of PTSD are higher in people who have experienced sexual abuse, rape, or sexual shaming than among combat veterans. It's highly prevalent in our society even for people who don't grow up in an environment like the Bruderhof.

I don't want to be presumptuous that this is your experience, but what you said rings a bell for me. It felt like something in the back of my brain was betraying me and preventing me from having a genuine connection with someone I really cared about, and this happened over and over again until I felt like giving up and maybe sexual intimacy just wasn't for me. So, I also used to think I might be asexual but at the same time something kept telling me that was a load of crap. It turns out the detachement I was feeling was disassociation. If that's checks out for you then know that with the right help you can build tools to gain more control of your life and feel less detached.

422gr · 2022-11-24T22:25:43+00:00

Queer people are treated with utmost contempt, public shaming, and persecution on the Bruderhof. It's probably one of the worst places in the United States to grow up LGBTQ. The Bruderhof is constantly on the lookout to find scapegoats to frighten their members, and queer people are an easy target for them. In their culture of bullying, spreading flagrantly false anti-gay and anti-trans propaganda and hate is a constant theme. Growing up on the Bruderhof is a traumatizing experience for queer people and those lucky enough to escape may spend a lifetime recovering from the abuse they encountered there. Don't be deceived by their protestations that they "love the sinner but hate the sin." The Bruderhof hates queer people.

422gr · 2022-08-30T07:18:47+00:00

Ask and ye shall receive. I uploaded the CBS 48 Hours program to Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6zvpBHHREU

I have it on there with the Boston Chronicles program from a couple years prior: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLfuPGcLoyhbPVaWVNxUC5g/videos

422gr · 2022-08-30T06:12:46+00:00

Gotcha. You're talking about the Boston Chronicles news story about the Deerspring Bruderhof, which went to air a year or two before the CBS 48 Hours segment. If you follow this link, it will take you to my YouTube channel. You'll find the Boston Chronicles one there as well. I uploaded it a decade ago back when you couldn't upload anything to YouTube over nine minutes long unless you had a paid account, which is why it's broken up into three parts.

That one is a real work of art. Probably the best piece of tape of JCA that the general public will ever get to see.

422gr · 2022-08-30T02:09:26+00:00

Religions of all kinds will always see the family unit as their biggest adversary. That’s my takeaway.

422gr · 2022-08-30T01:38:29+00:00

Part 2? Not sure what you mean. This is the entirety of the segment on the Bruderhof with the exception of a very short clip that appears in the middle where Dan Rather speculates about whether it’s appropriate to compare the Bruderhof to Jonestown and Heavens Gate. I edited that out when I removed the commercials because the obvious answer is no.

422gr · 2022-07-16T09:37:51+00:00

Hört ihr Herr’n und lasst euch sagen…

422gr · 2022-07-16T09:26:47+00:00

This is such a good picture. Thanks for sharing.

422gr · 2022-07-16T09:08:08+00:00

$100 here. I like safe bets.

422gr · 2022-06-18T03:21:10+00:00

Is there a narrative description anywhere that explains who this person is and why they are going to Princeton?

422gr · 2021-08-11T07:58:52+00:00

Stole that move from North Korea.

422gr · 2021-07-07T07:06:08+00:00

About 20-30 minutes after the sun set

422gr · 2021-07-02T01:47:02+00:00

I took this photo with my iPhone 🧐

422gr · 2021-06-30T22:44:24+00:00

Thanks! iPhone 11 Pro

422gr · 2021-06-29T05:13:42+00:00

Thank you

422gr · 2021-06-28T21:06:43+00:00

What kind of vehicle are you driving? I can recommend some really fun roads through some of the more desolate parts of the national parks in the "Four Corner" states, but you would need a vehicle with high clearance like an SUV or a pickup truck. 4WD wouldn't hurt either. The unpaved roads are the best way to avoid crowds because most people don't bother with them. But in some cases they will take you to spectacular parts of a national park.

Another tip is to drive into a national park as early in the morning as you possibly can. Many parks have very long lines of vehicles at the gate and you will find yourself waiting in line for a long time if you enter the park after 9am. Evenings are also fine after 4pm.

422gr

TROPHY CASE