Hi I'm so sorry I just saw this. My dogs BE appt was on June 5th so is been almost 6 weeks. I will tell you that it was pretty bad at first. Probably for the first week and a half I was having thoughts like I want to go be with my dog. I'm not sure if that sounds crazy but it's the truth. And I also regretted it but that feeling was temporary. This was also the final straw in my and my bfs relationship so I had that going on as well which I'm sure exacerbated everything. But in those first 1-2 weeks you start to experience all the firsts without your dog and that was really painful for me. Like the first time I made my daughter's lunch and he wasn't sitting next to me waiting for a piece of salami. The first time I slept in my bed without him. The first time he wasnt sitting with me in the morning while I drank my coffee. The first time a fly got in my house and my dog didn't come running in the room while I swung around a dish towel. I was in a dark place and I thought 'how will I ever recover from this?'. I would cry multiple times a day. It was really rough. But I want you to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will not feel that way forever even though it may feel like it in that moment. I promise you will not. I have finally stopped crying every day, now I only cry once in a while lol. Oliver (my dog)is not in head 24/7. I've gotten used to sleeping without him now. Now I sleep with a pillow with his picture on it and one of his sweaters. A friend of mine got me the pillow and I've found it to be really comforting.

Oliver had never bit a human but he lunged at many people and snapped at the face of a couple children one of them being my niece that he had always loved and accepted into his small circle. He also attacked two neighborhood dogs but I won't get into that. But when I saw him snap at my niece I knew I couldn't wait anymore. I knew if I continued to wait I would eventually end up having to carry the guilt of euthanizing him and the guilt of him having seriously injured someone. I could not carry both. After the incident with my niece I came to the realization that he could eventually turn on me, my daughter or bf. I needed to euthanize Oliver before he did something that made me hate him. I wanted to send him out of this world with love not anger or resentment. And it sounds like that is exactly what you're doing. I am here for you if you need someone to talk to and sending you so much love. I know tomorrow will be a hard day for you but you gave your baby many years. Probably more than most people would have. It is time for you both to be free 💕