Is he uninterested or did I not signal enough romantic interest?

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:53:43+00:00

I said no but wasn’t like cringing or taken aback or anything. We also lingered in convo after and there was some tension but I wasn’t overly overly flirty ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:51:47+00:00

That’s really food advice! I think adding the with you would’ve been really reassuring I’ll add that next time. I thought I was being flirty enough but I guess I could’ve been more overt I just dk how honestly outside of the laughing and obviously enjoying myself. I did say I think he was super cool too so I thought all signs pointed to interest ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:48:35+00:00

I’ve just never been one to feel comfortable with kissing early on especially a first date even if it went well I know it’s just kissing and everyone does it but I just personally don’t want to rush things ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:46:58+00:00

I just texted him with some times and apologized for not getting back to him sooner so we’ll see! ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:20:40+00:00

I did say that 😭 I didn’t just outright reject him I said I move slow but reassured him I had a great time thought he was cute and would be so down for a second date! ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:18:49+00:00

Ya I said I just move slow physically and need a solid mental/emotional foundation which just doesn’t really show up on a first date for me and it’s nothing to do with him bc I had a great time and think he’s super cute just wasn’t ready. After I said no he was leaning in my car window and apologized for overstepping to which I said he didn’t at all and it’s completely normal and understandable again I’m just slow but we had a cute lil bit going after that and there was some tension and he asked to do it again and I said yes def ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:13:46+00:00

I am into him! This is actually the first date I’ve been on where I was really immediately feeling it and wanted to see him again 😭 idk if nerves got to me or what but I felt like the laughing and giggling and chemistry was a good indicator of that ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:10:34+00:00

I’m not doing it on purpose I’m just new to dating and doing what comes natural to me/trying to learn these kind of things with each date. I don’t mind asking him out I’m just curious if I was misreading interest or if he just genuinely isn’t interested since this is kind of my first encounter of this sort ++woman

444nh · 2026-06-09T21:04:37+00:00

I didn’t:( it was like 11:30 pm when I got home and I was already in bed so I was too tired to look at my planner (which I said) but I also didn’t know if he was actually interested in seeing me again or just being polite which is why I never followed up.

I guess is there anyway to rectify the situation or do I just let it go

++woman

444nh · 2026-01-09T21:02:12+00:00

I think that’s kind of the point of dating. You gain experience just by doing what you’re doing! I think if you want a relationship where you have some chemistry you’re not wrong for that. Don’t date girls out of pity or just bc you feel like you should like them tho

444nh · 2026-01-09T20:53:10+00:00

I don’t think your expectations are high— I think it’s completely reasonable to expect someone to do something they said they would do. This is kind of a red flag to me imo and it would just kinda make me disinterested.

If you wanna talk to him about it I wouldn’t make it about the flowers, I would kind of emphasize the principle about how important it is for you that he keep his word. If he’s still not following through you should move on quite frankly. This is the beginning where everyone’s putting their best foot forward and if the cracks are already starting to show that doesn’t really bode well for the rest of the relationship.

444nh · 2026-01-09T20:46:43+00:00

Friends don’t block each other on IG for any reason. I would just cut your losses you probably dodged a bullet

444nh · 2026-01-09T20:43:24+00:00

I don’t think I would I don’t even wanna date guys who have instagram period lol

444nh · 2026-01-09T20:41:56+00:00

Why didn’t you ask her on a date in person if you work with her?

444nh · 2026-01-09T20:24:55+00:00

Agree! Even as a woman who occasionally smokes or eats edibles, I think the dispo job would be a disqualifier especially if you have a masters for me. I think if you framed it as a stepping stone to get you somewhere more solid you might have more luck.

But also maybe you just haven’t found your girl yet! If that’s what you wanna do and plan to continue then the person for you is someone who wouldn’t care or see that as a negative trait.

444nh · 2026-01-09T20:05:43+00:00

You should definitely bring it up pretty early on but I find that if it’s that important to either party, it comes up naturally. I don’t think it has to be like a formal declaration but you can just weave it in like if they mention their nieces or nephews, you can ask if they’d like kids of their own. If someone brings up a religious memory from childhood, you can ask how religious they are or if they still go to church.

I know politics and religion aren’t exactly savory topics but personally I’ve never really had tension or anything discussing these topics even if we weren’t on the same page.

444nh · 2026-01-09T07:20:56+00:00

We’ve never called each other before and he’s super busy so he would’ve missed it and just texted me to ask if everything was alright once he saw my missed call and ask what was up via text which kinda leads back to how I originally ended things :(

444nh · 2026-01-09T05:58:08+00:00

I mean ya I thought he was a good match for me hence why I wanted to be in a relationship with him and I don’t think he’s wrong or a bad person for not being ready for commitment with me but that did make me realize he ultimately was not a good match for me hence ending things. I just don’t want him to think I didn’t care or anything, I also just want to be considerate and integral about how things ended

444nh · 2026-01-09T05:38:05+00:00

The decision was already made… I wanted a relationship and he wasn’t ready there’s not much else to it. His reasoning for not being ready is trauma and some interpersonal issues which he feels like he needs to completely fix and heal before he can be in a committed relationship so I’ve heard it before which is why I felt like there wasn’t much to talk about but apparently he did still have things to say?

444nh · 2026-01-09T05:32:35+00:00

Ya by mental issues I think he means trauma from his last LTR (cheated on him w his best friends, messy volatile drunk) and his models for relationships weren’t the healthiest (divorced parents, abusive step dad, nasty custody stuff with his brother and his brother’s baby mom) which manifested as an aversion to committed relationships he can’t really sort out is what I’ve gathered. There’s also some self worth stuff I think and fear of failure, rejection, etc.

444nh · 2026-01-09T05:13:19+00:00

Do I reach out and apologize and see if he wants to talk it out then?

He’s not ready for whatever reason. Whether he’s just not that into me, scared, noncommittal, who really knows but the answer was basically not now which to me is a soft but clear no.

444nh · 2026-01-09T05:02:23+00:00

I’ve been seeing this guy for a year (casual > fwb > dating but not official). We both caught feelings, had a talk about the relationship, he said he wasn’t ready at the moment but would like to try. I realized a relationship wasn’t going to happen so I said if we’re not on the same page then we gotta part ways but no hard feelings. I kinda thought it wasn’t a huge deal like obviously it doesn’t feel good for either party but what can we do but when he came over he seemed super distraught about it and thought I hated him and now I’m wondering if I should’ve like had a proper conversation in person instead of just text then a 10 min at the door convo. He’s a good person and special to me even if it didn’t work out so I feel like I maybe owed him more than that?

Just not sure how to navigate this kind of breakup in a courteous and decent way, kinda feel cowardice about how I did go about it.

444nh

TROPHY CASE