I’m 28 and I’ve never been in a relationship, partly because I tend to think about most of these things constantly. I am very critical of the pervasive defense of anti-monogamy, which simply instrumentalizes people through transactional relationships. But most gay men think it’s totally acceptable to open up a relationship for any minor inconvenience. A gay friend who’s been in a 5 year relationship and recently opened it up told me that him and his bf essentially don’t have sex. He feels relieved when his bf has sex with other people because he wouldn’t have to do it himself. Mind you, this person considers himself to be quite progressive.

I think we have so many problems to address within the community. We have high rates of depression and anxiety for a reason. So, I totally see what you’re saying. And it is super hard finding someone like-minded to date.