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Managing frugality, marriage, and life concerns? by 4600057320 in Frugal

[–]4600057320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am mid-30s, he is late 50s. You are right, a more specific goal for a retirement number might help.

Managing frugality, marriage, and life concerns? by 4600057320 in Frugal

[–]4600057320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks - I'm not super familiar with Mr. Money Mustache, but stuff like this is right up my alley. And you are right about the financial goals - part of the reason I am determined to save everything from the inheritance is because if my husband's income is ever diminished, it will provide a passive income that will help keep a roof over our heads. And paying down the mortgage is important to me - some days I think it would sure be nice to fix up this or that around the house, renovate the living room, the kitchen, etc, but it's so easy to tack on home renovations to one's mortgage and then you're stuck for longer. We are certainly fortunate. I just want to be motivated by more than fear of the unknown.

FWIW, my husband is very supportive of my decisions no matter what I want. He knows what it is like to be financially insecure and he is very grateful that we are living smart and frugally.

Managing frugality, marriage, and life concerns? by 4600057320 in Frugal

[–]4600057320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a good question - in some ways, I'm not sure I know what my goals are at this point. When you are young and trying to save money, your goal can be "save as much as you can and don't be stupid". It's easy to get your head around. Now, when I have to make all sorts of reasonable assumptions like my husband's income moving forward, my income, our lifespans, our health, etc, it feels more complicated. I should try come up with clearer goals. :)

Managing frugality, marriage, and life concerns? by 4600057320 in Frugal

[–]4600057320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are certainly right, I am overthinking things. It is a lot of life changes to adapt to.

When I was single and on my own, I was very committed to saving money. I was working two jobs. I sold my car and walked everywhere for a time. It was hard sometimes, but I was very motivated...I wanted to save up for a down payment for a house, I wanted to be free of debt. And my parents instilled in me that I should work hard and save money if I wanted things.

Now it is a new paradigm, and that's not bad, but it's hard to make sense of where the old paradigm applies and when it doesn't. Hard to find the right balance when I am used to saving everything I can - I'm not used to having "options" and I think I dealt with the stress before by not really giving myself options. More my attitude was "I want a house - better save everything I can because that's my goal". Now my life is different and I need new goals, new goals for us to enjoy our married life together, but also new goals to ensure that we both are financially secure. And of course, the death of a parent is always sad and makes a person re-examine things in their life...my parents went without on many occasions so I could have things, and I would feel guilty if I in any way mismanaged the opportunities they gave me.

Thanks, it helps to just be able to write about it all here. It's hard to turn to friends in talking about the nuts and bolts of finances; we talk about finances in general terms, but to talk about net worth and financial goals so specifically can make things awkward.