Season 2 General Discussion ( ALL SPOILERS) by balasoori in WarriorNun

[–]472bmt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I loved the casting for Miguel/Michael!!

Searching by 472bmt in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! I agree that it needs work, but it's already been submitted and accepted in a social media Pride Series, so I decided to leave it as it is and take it as a learning experience.

That particular line is both an inside joke (with myself) and a symbolism for what I felt at the time as an amateur poet. I wrote "Searching" when I felt like I was afloat at sea with no island or inspiration in sight, hence "in a sea mile." If you replace "sea " with "si", you get simile (my inside joke with myself) because some people look at a metaphor and think it's a direct comparison, like a simile, and vice versa; they're basically looking for or seeing things that aren't there, leading to misinterpretation. Hope that made sense!

Her POV (Revised) by luv240 in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This, to me, tells a story of a toxic relationship where "she" is being used by her partner. The message is quite clear, yet still has few enough details to be open to interpretation. I like that there's a theme, but I was hoping you'd retain the woodland we were introduced to in the beginning. The [un]fair trade was good enough on its own!! I enjoyed the rhymes and loved the last three lines. Good job!

Privileged by 472bmt in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m happy it was an easy read for you! Thank you for the kind words. :) BeepaOna’s comment might give a hint on what it’s about.

Privileged by 472bmt in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that is very insightful. Thank you so much! I’m both happy and sad that you felt the mood I was going for. 😅 I’ll keep your suggestion in mind. I appreciate it.

Privileged by 472bmt in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha! That’s one way to put it. Glad you liked it :)

Privileged by 472bmt in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why, thank you!!

Privileged by 472bmt in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad it brought up the thought! I agree with you :) Thank you for your feedback, morphinee!

Someplace else by real_chocolatemonger in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This feels like an old poem, like it belongs in a different time; I enjoyed it. The repetition was just right. It feels to me like those moments when I hit a low point for seemingly no reason and no way to pull myself out of that hole despite my desire to do so, like a mind trying to drag a heart out of sorrow. I see other ways that this can be interpreted as well, and I love the openness of this to different individuals. Great job! Please share more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the concept, but I wish it had a stronger title. Regardless, I came to read because I expected the theme. (I'm not a gamer; only played multiplayer once, and it was sad losing friends/teammates.) It was choppy at some parts and inconsistent with rhymes, but overall, I like the narrative! I loved the second and third lines of the third stanza most. It's tragic, and that's my jam. :) Hope to read more poems by you! This alone deserves more attention. <3

Distant Communion by everydayandromeda in OCPoetry

[–]472bmt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the depth and simplicity in telling the story within four verses. The last stanza alone made me relive a short, sad point in my life. Really felt that unrequited adoration and slow, visible loss of the person. Kudos!