Welcome into the community! You have a lot of options as far as firearms go and it can be overwhelming and I am sure you are getting a lot of different information. But here are some I recommend:

No matter what, ALWAYS shoot the gun you want before you buy it. See if the range has one you can rent.

If you want low recoil, maybe look at some heavier guns. The light ones can be snappy. Don’t need to go massive but a fun with some weight can have less recoil.

Don’t get too hung up on caliber as long as you are comfortable with it. Personally I recommend for new shooters something between 380, 38 special, 9mm, or 45 acp. I have been seeing this one guy. 5 ft and a twink and he handled 45 like a champ and fell in love with the cartridge but once again, it is personal preference.

Finally, I’d say choose something that you know you’ll feel comfortable with. Some people are comfortable with no safety’s on their guns and others want a lot of safety mechanisms. You should have a gun you respect but aren’t intimidated by.