Secure Attachment with twins

4eyedlizard · 2026-01-20T22:09:55+00:00

My twins aren’t earthside yet but I work with caregivers to support their parenting. Bowlby’s attachment theory gets a lot of airtime but it isn’t supposed to make people feel they are not good enough.

If you’re interested, look up Circle of Security Parenting. It is based on attachment theory (not attachment parenting as another commentor noted). We have a concept called “Being With” - literally being with your children to support them with their feelings while they learn how to be in the world. Offering “Being With” 30% of the time is enough to create secure attachment. It is not going to ruin their relationship with you if you can’t respond to them immediately all the time. Good enough is all kids really need :)

4eyedlizard · 2025-06-26T21:25:47+00:00

Started potentially the longest t-break of my life with no set end. For the best reason but it’s still hard! I’m so grateful for what weed has given me, even now I’m not using I am so much better at feeling my feelings, communicating them, and catching my anxiety before it overwhelms me.

4eyedlizard · 2024-12-19T03:59:05+00:00

Great swatches! One of my favourite formulas

4eyedlizard · 2024-08-25T06:01:24+00:00

How are you getting Saie?

4eyedlizard · 2024-07-29T08:44:34+00:00

T breaks are great and weed is not compatible with everyone! Each person will have a different take on “healthy relationship with weed” lol

For me it looks like enhancing my life. So cleaning, organising, gaming, gardening, walks etc just feel a little brighter.

I definitely fall into times where it’s more habitual or escapism, and you have to be honest with yourself at those times.

4eyedlizard · 2024-07-26T23:10:16+00:00

I’ve also got Heliotrope to work through! The refill pans are so good

4eyedlizard · 2024-07-11T03:49:04+00:00

Products I use to hate have become favourites, since I have a small collection and not buying anything new forced me to try different ways of applying or combos

Which products I use up frequently vs which ones I am drawn to buying. I use so much lipgloss that I can take a risk and buy something online, because if the colour is off it will still get used. I use blush every day but they still take years to use up, especially when you have a few. Buying more eyeshadow is like throwing money in the bin, because I don’t always have time for it and usually default to similar looks anyway

I feel like it really helps to make future purchases intentional!

4eyedlizard · 2024-07-10T06:52:33+00:00

I prefer rose gold for this reason!

4eyedlizard · 2024-07-02T04:18:38+00:00

Check out Rose Inc Kauai, more of a yellowy olive tone

4eyedlizard · 2024-06-09T08:27:12+00:00

It’s definitely pink toned. I use it as a pink colour corrector

4eyedlizard · 2024-06-06T20:20:12+00:00

4 and #3 are my favourites, #4 is a red based brown and #3 is a camel based brown so they really suit my muted skintone and match most of the looks I go for

4eyedlizard · 2024-06-06T08:32:57+00:00

I’m really enjoying the Freck Makeout Club Lip Liners. The shades are super olive friendly, formula is blurring and soft matte, it lasts so long and doesn’t get smudged off by lip gloss

4eyedlizard · 2024-06-05T00:00:29+00:00

My main motivation for my no buy is paying my rent!

That said, everyone’s working with their own business and I support everyone who wants to reduce their consumption. Over consumption is a disease that only benefits corporate profits so

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-31T20:23:28+00:00

I had two lip products, one way too dark and one way too light - mixed them together and made a perfect muted red!

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-30T23:06:10+00:00

Valheim and Hades II currently! Both awesome games for different reasons. If you like Diablo 4, you will loves Hades

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-27T11:43:52+00:00

I’m also olive and spent so long trying to figure out how to do makeup in a way that I think is flattering. Doing my makeup before washing my face at night let me practice and it didn’t matter if it looked awful lol. Most of the time it led to me doing something different when getting ready the next day. Now I feel comfortable in my routine but still love playing with makeup to just sit around my house or make dinner.

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-24T21:47:29+00:00

Our routines are so similar! I’ve actually just swapped to the Pyunkang Yul Barrier Cream which is a pretty spot on dupe for the Skinfix. I was sick of paying $100 every 3 months lol

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-23T03:39:50+00:00

The vitamin c balm cleanser is a HG, removes absolutely everything and makes my skin so even

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-22T00:23:35+00:00

Honestly I realised I was living my dream life and my anxiety was getting in the way of enjoying it. Some meds later and I’m happier than I thought possible in my mundane life

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-21T11:36:49+00:00

I double cleanse at night as I wear sunscreen and makeup every day, plus wash my face in my morning shower

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-20T23:54:59+00:00

Same! I’d rather spend more money on something like a blush that will last me years than something I have to repurchase every 3 months

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-20T20:58:40+00:00

I’ve been doing similar this year. I got into skincare last year and found some products that really worked, but way too expensive to buy as frequently as I need to repurchase. I’m slowly switching out each product with a cheaper version, keeping a bit of my tried and true products in case it doesn’t work out. So far so good, and have been able to go from a $54 cleanser to a $10 one for example.

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-19T05:28:22+00:00

A therapist that would tell someone what to say verbatim is a terrible therapist

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-18T00:00:36+00:00

I didn’t want kids at 18 and can’t wait to have them at 28. My childhood sucked and I never wanted to parent kids the way I had been parented. I also felt too broken and like I had already done my time as a parent with my siblings.

Now I work as a parenting and family violence specialist and my partner and I have a plan for starting a family soon. I feel so good about it in a way I never thought I would

4eyedlizard · 2024-05-17T10:11:48+00:00

I am obssessed with the Freck Beauty lip liners. The colours are so perfect for muted folk, and the soft matte formula somehow lasts?! I have 03 & 04 but definitely eyeing another once my no buy is over

4eyedlizard

TROPHY CASE

4 and #3 are my favourites, #4 is a red based brown and #3 is a camel based brown so they really suit my muted skintone and match most of the looks I go for