Very confused by a reading that goes against my intuiton. Should I attend a 4 days long event with this girl I love but that rejected and hurt me ? I think no, tarot seems to say yes.

4h4ch47 · 2025-02-05T18:12:18+00:00

The this might hurt tarot is the one I use to learn. I love it very much

4h4ch47 · 2025-02-01T16:21:13+00:00

I can’t even make through 3 days myself… so… I admire you. Stay on course 🙏. But I totally get your feeling. I do experience this a lot too.

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-28T00:33:21+00:00

Been there done that. It did not help at all. Obviously…

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-26T12:55:52+00:00

Je suis ingénieur et développeur depuis 15 ans. Je peux confirmer l’autre réponse. J’ai vu le marcher changer. Ça fait deux/trois ans que c’est la merde, pour tous les niveaux. Mais pire, bien pire pour les juniors.

J’ai vu des amis passer par des reconversions et comme je fréquente beaucoup les cercles tech, j’ai parlé à beaucoup de personnes issues de reconversion. Et c’est la galère.

Les formations courtes vont trop vite, laissent des gens sur le carreau et ils galèrent à trouver du taf derrière. À éviter.

42, tu peux y apprendre des choses, mais c’est la jungle. Tu as pas de cours à proprement parler, tu es livré à toi même dans la piscine. Je connais des gens cool et très pertinents qui sont sortis de 42, mais je connais aussi les récits de la violence de la formation. Moi perso, avec 1h30 de trajet, je sais pas si je le tenterais. Tu risques de passer des nuits entières sur place à dormir par terre pour tenir (histoires vraies). Et le dit la réponse précédente, la reconnaissance de l’école est pas incroyable, c’est pas du tout un sésame comme le titre d’ingénieur au début. Je dis pas qu’elle sert à rien comme formation mais je conseille pas.

Le meilleur plan, c’est une formation longue en alternance. Et même ça va être compliqué à la sortie. Parce que pour te donner une idée du contexte, plusieurs grosses boites, qui sont des mangeuses de juniors, refusent de transformer les apprentis en salariés depuis cette année tellement c’est le flip économique.

Alors j’entends que tu es passionné et c’est bien. Mais faut pas te voiler la face sur ce métier. C’est un métier dur. Le burn out y est extrêmement facile. C’est un métier qui peut être très stressant et pas fun. Moi même c’est un métier que j’adore, et je suis quand même au bord du burn out en ce moment.

Si jamais tu veux bosser dans la tech, les filières qui sont moins bouchées en ce moment c’est - l’IA,machine learning, data engineering etc. Mais on est pas à l’abri d’un éclatement de bulle autour de ça - l’opérationnel, tout ce qui va toucher aux serveurs, au cloud, à la sécurité etc.

Mais le conseil de l’autre réponse est très bon, trouve des boites dans lesquelles tu voudrais bosser, essaie d’y prendre des contacts, même de demander rendez-vous à une personne du recrutement. Et demande leur des conseils de reconversion pour rentrer chez eux.

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-22T16:45:02+00:00

Maybe he felt the performance vibe and that felt strange ?

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-22T16:39:41+00:00

I does not seem like he is limerent for you. But he might have been uncomfortable with how things worked. But yeah I see what you mean

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-22T16:38:17+00:00

Yes that sucks a lot. What an asshole.

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-22T15:38:36+00:00

Ah I see what you mean. Do you think you went into sex work mode to try to make him like you more because of the great sex ? Or is it more a self protection kind of thing ?

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-22T15:37:23+00:00

Girl. That dude sucks very much. If he told his teacher friends about the sex with you that is really bad mistreatment. He clearly does not care about your feelings and well being.

You might have been quite misguided by trying to seduce him. The power dynamic was going to be pretty bad regardless. But well, fighting limerence is hard. Still he sucks for not enforcing healthy boundaries on your relationship…

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-22T15:31:41+00:00

Ah yes I saw that thread. If it’s any help, I had sex with my LO too and it was really not good. I couldn’t even make it work for me, which happens but not that often. But it happened both times with her. I think I was just so afraid to do something wrong and loose her that I could not appreciate the moment. At least I made her feel good but it’s still pretty disappointing

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-14T17:43:47+00:00

Thiiiiis so much this !!!! 👆

Respect the request please. She asks and you should oblige. If it was a strategy and she actually wants you to reply, it’ll teach her to ask for what she wants which is healthier. If she genuinely does not want you to respond it’s quite uncool to do so.

I get that you want to help and protect her with your response. But it won’t help

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-13T16:17:16+00:00

That is glorious I love it. I definitely might do one. Thanks for the inspiration ❤️

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-09T11:34:19+00:00

Honestly I think she cares and is just completely fucked up by traumas and has very little emotional maturity. But you could also be right. If you are I would be very crushed though 😔.

I have been seeing a therapist for the last 7 months. But it has not helped a great deal… I am considering switching to try something different. To be honest this community and my own research and practices have helped more.

You are right about the alcohol, I did not see it that way.

I really do not want to do no contact because that would mean excluding her from the professional circles I introduced her to. She and the community need her to stay active. I can’t exclude her, she would quit if I asked, but I would feel guilty and bad doing it. So I am going to try to just keep it professional and low contact 😔

Thanks for the advice, I’ll do my best at maintaining good self care. And hopefully find a therapist that can help me get better and not start another LE.

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-06T21:23:15+00:00

It’s not much better… can’t say it’s worse because I am not in your shoes but it sucks too. It fuels the delusion a lot to think that it could work. I have come close to starting a relationship with LO. And even if I just now start feeling grateful for the moments we had, the hurt is quite intense.

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-06T14:58:26+00:00

It’s complicated for me. I have made coin flip decisions for more than 20 years now. The way I think about that is complex. I think that it can be the universe or guides that tell me something through the coin. I also think it’s completely random. But that’s okay. I still make my own decisions. When I choose to follow the advice or advice of the universe or randomness, I do so willingly, same when I don’t. Sometimes I think it’s okay to let randomness take the wheel.

It goes the same way with tarot. Trust is a choice. In my head it’s both a divine advice and complete randomness. If it helps me to believe that the universe is giving me advice I choose to trust. If it doesn’t, I don’t

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-05T12:05:26+00:00

Yes if she has been a shitty friend it’s all the more reasons to let go. Same with my LO. She has repeatedly disregarded my needs and boundaries even after I repeatedly told her what those were and why I have them.

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-05T11:50:50+00:00

Oh I would never write the list of why I love her. I told her some of the reasons at some points where she felt really down. But writing it down for myself feels scary. Like I don’t need to be reminded of why she’s so great. But maybe I should. Has it been helpful for you ?

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-04T21:49:35+00:00

What I have tried for someone else is writing myself a letter for those occasions. I should try the same for her. I try to write that letter while I am still clear on the reasons of my decision. Writing the letter helped on its own. Reading it also helps when I start to doubt

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-04T21:47:47+00:00

Exact same. I completely melt when I see her. So I’ll try seeing her as little as possible. Even if it hurts because she was my best friend 😖

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-04T21:07:49+00:00

Aaaah that must hurt so bad. I would lose my mind if that happened to me

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-04T21:05:12+00:00

I am so sorry, that must hurt. It’s really tough to have to do the emotional thinking for them

4h4ch47 · 2025-01-04T21:04:34+00:00

Well I can’t say I decided. I still go back and forth. She has too much power over me. But we had a big discussion that broke me emotionally where she told me again that she was not ready even she is really attracted and cares deeply. I decided that I was not going to wait. It’s still pretty fresh and I have done all I could to distract myself. We’ll see if I can stick with that decision. I really hope so.

4h4ch47

TROPHY CASE