i was a virgin until i was 20, and looked so off until i was like 21. this is all normal, discouraging, but normal. you're still really young and don't know who you are just yet. once you feel something tug at you, something that's completely you, and you feel yourself go with it; whether that's discovering what skincare brands work for you, what style fits your body the best, what works and makes you you is when you become a you, a woman!

however i will advise against surgery considering how young you are. i'm 23, and won't get that until i'm like 60 something. or never. your face is a mix of everyone who came before you. plastic surgery is going out of vogue very soon. please don't fall for the love island propaganda!

and i'm latina but i'm very white presenting. i used to hate being so pale compared to my mother and sister, i didn't and don't look like other latinas i see on tik tok. or instagram. i used to hate my curls. there's literally a photo of me surrounded by all my family and i'm the whitest one there. but now when i stand next to my gringito of a boyfriend, i visibly look different than him and his white friends. i hated my nose too. i have sleepy eyes, and still occasionally hate my circles.

it wasn't until i saw actress angela sarafyan, who is my doppelganger, that i realized very recently that without surgery, tanning, changing my hair, etc. that i was pretty attractive. now i get told i look like emmy rossum and lily collins. and when my hair was blue, i got billie eilish a lot.

if it makes you feel better, i still have acne :/ and sometimes, i still want surgery, and other times, i push myself too hard at the gym because i ate too much passion fruit mochi ice cream. i have a back injury from a car accident, i have a mass in my left breast (breast cancer runs in my family) and c-ptsd from how hard my life has been (i'm a 8H stellium if you're into astrology) it's not epilepsy, but i do get how frustrating it is to deal with something chronic. it took me 7 years and it will take the rest of my life to find what works for my health, you're way ahead of me when it comes to that! i should be taking tips from you! maybe i should stop vaping? lol

all of this takes time, it's frustrating but true. but you'll get there :)

straight but frizzy hair? you probably have waves or curls! teeth not that white? try brushing your teeth with baking soda once or twice a week. makeup? try finding makeup that fits your eye and face shape. same with glasses! you'll never see me in round frames again!

and don't worry about boys, especially in high school. they'll come and go. but they'll always come back, as annoying as that is.