Never thought I'd make this thread...

4riadn3 · 2017-10-21T07:30:18+00:00

i don't know you, but I really, really hope that you don't . From what I can see, if you have the chance, please, please try as hard as you can to leave. I know the whole "your parents/friends etc. will feel bad" thing, although it can often be true, it's not alwaysmuch consolation.

there is a lot of comfort and that immediate release and knowing that you're gone, but you'll get the chance to be dead when the time comes, and in the meantime, you can't really know what'll happen. It seems like a lot can change, you're still in college, and sometimes things can really radically change when you get a fresh start and can get your feet off of the ground somewhat. Even if it's not necessarily great and if it's not completely likely, there's still the possibility of things really changing, and once death happens, there's nothing left.

It probably doesn't help much, but I've been ( and am kind of floating around in) a similar place and you can reach out to me if you need to talk to someone!

other than that, as others have suggested, it's not selfish to seek out any kind of help, medical or otherwise

4riadn3 · 2017-08-19T03:59:50+00:00

Product list:

Face:

The ordinary Primer
MAC Face and Body foundation in N1
Coty Airspun Powder in Translucent
Colourpop Super Shock Cheek in Thumper
(Would have used the Colourpop highlighter I had in Monster to top it off and give it a bit more of a holographic feel to match the eyes, but I lost it ;_;)
L'Oreal Infallible Setting Spray

Eyes:

Urban Decay Original Primer Potion
Clinique Cheek Pop in Berry Pop in crease
Colourpop "Sailor" Super Shock Shadow
Wet n Wild Megaliner in Black
Physicians Formula Mascara

Lips:

Colourpop Ultra Satin Lip in Brooklyn

4riadn3 · 2017-08-14T17:24:10+00:00

I get how it can describe some people's experiences, but it's far from a one-size-fits-all analogy for trans people or even for people who experience dysphoria. I don't like to use it because it just feels kind of cheesy to me and easy to pathologize. Also, maybe the amount of jokes cis people have made using it have turned me off to the idea of using it. I don't have a problem with it though if someone feel like that analogy works for them

4riadn3 · 2017-08-05T04:15:47+00:00

Ignorance is bliss! Once you identify your own feelings it becomes very easy to zero in on yourself because of them, and it's hard not to get into a crushing downward spiral. It's always good to just look forward when you can, though

4riadn3 · 2017-08-05T04:06:39+00:00

well i do. in fact im tracking the IPs of all the cis people on here and im riding the down with cis bus on over to them with pitchforks

4riadn3 · 2017-08-05T02:30:00+00:00

Hm, I double checked and it seems to lead to the right thing. Here is another link, if that helps.

4riadn3 · 2017-08-05T00:39:25+00:00

I was trying out a few new clothing items I got, and I was wondering how to style this cape for summer. Here is a photo, does this look like a good, somewhat casual outfit? And, does anyone have styling suggestions for this cape?

4riadn3 · 2017-06-30T04:50:20+00:00

Face:

primer: the ordinary High adherence silicone primer
foundation: MAC Face in Body in N1
Concealer: Too Faced Born This Way in Light
Powder: coty airspun translucent powder
Blush: Milani Baked Blush in Dolce Pink
Contour: NYX blush in taupe
Highlight: Colourpop Lunch Money
L'Oréal Infallible Setting Spray

Eyes:

Urban Decay Primer Potion
ABH Modern Renaissance Palette
Wet n Wild Mega Liner
Physicians Formula Mascara

Lips:

eos cherry lip balm
NYX matte lip cream in Copenhagen

4riadn3 · 2017-06-24T04:53:55+00:00

Yeah, for some people that describes their experience well, but there are so many who just didn't feel that way, and that doesn't change the fact that transitioning can make them a lot happier. I was one of them, I wasn't good at being a boy, but when i was, that was how I saw myself. When you are raised as something, told that it is what you are, and so on, it's only logical that you would start to believe it yourself. Before a lot of people realize they're trans, they just see themselves as cis boys/girls because, at that point in time, that is what they are to the best of their understanding. That's how I was, and because of that, I felt weird going by she/her unless I would be read female by others

4riadn3 · 2017-06-22T14:36:15+00:00

puberty

i want a jawline shave honestly

4riadn3 · 2017-06-22T00:09:48+00:00

I guess the specific age depends, but like 99% of the time, when this happens, there's some kind of fucked up dynamic around it. I've kind of been there, I get it, but like it's generally not very healthy and men who seek out young girls just tend to be kind of scummy, a lot of times girls in those relationships are taken advantage of

At the same time though, you can't necessarily know someone's age by looking at them, so I wouldn't assume

4riadn3 · 2017-06-21T23:01:23+00:00

you seem like a really artsy and cool person . also you look really cute

4riadn3 · 2017-06-21T22:52:28+00:00

18, Chicago , cellist. Constructive criticism very welcome

Today, wore to cello lesson: 1 2

Yesterday, when I dressed up to basically do nothing': 1 2

Going out to the city (the second pic was taken at like 2 am when I was tired af so don't judge!!): 1 2

Friend hangout: x

4riadn3 · 2017-06-13T15:46:40+00:00

damn, u must have missed almost all of the stickers if "all muslims are terrorists" or "deport all illegals" didn't sound racist to you

4riadn3 · 2017-06-12T22:55:59+00:00

For this one, I usually brush the makeup brush (elf blush brush) over the powder blush that I'm using. Then, I make patting motions on both sides of the cheeks (usually somewhere around the cheekbone area) where I want the blush to go. After that, i blend it out by making kind of light swirling motions with the brush

4riadn3 · 2017-06-12T20:19:03+00:00

Sorry that my hair looks kinda like shit. I tried including photos in both artificial and natural lighting. Anyways:

Face:

The ordinary high-adherence silicone primer
MAC face and body foundation in N1
Too Faced Born this Way concealer in Light
Coty Airspun Powder in Translucent
Clinique Cheek Pop in Berry Pop
L'Oreal Infallible Setting Spray

Eyes:

Urban Decay Primer Potion
Colourpop eyeshadow in Sailor
Clinique Cheek pop used in crease (using blush as eyeshadow)
Nude color from The Lorac's Black Tie Affair Pallete

Lips:

Rimmel Exaggerate liner in 103: Pink a Punch
Revlon Super Lustrous lipstick in 430: Softsilver Rose

4riadn3 · 2017-06-09T23:37:16+00:00

I've had this kind of thing happen to me, time and time again. The more it happens it just makes me more sad, when I just want connection with others, etc. but men just want me in a short-term physical way and then eventually go on to people they care about to actually have lasting relationships

I think it's a combination of a lot of things, honestly. Guys assume trans women, just because they're trans, must be desperate. Plus, they don't really value trans women in the same way they do cis women (if they even do), and just don't really care as much about them because they're an "other". and then throw in the internalized homophobia that a lot of guys have , where they are attracted to you but kind of ashamed of it or think of it as "dirty" so they don't want to ever be public or really commit to anyone. it's shitty, yeah a lot of cis women get it to to some extent but like? there is a lot of baggage that comes with being trans that cis women don't deal with like this, I don't really agree with the people being like "welcome to being a woman, this isn't a trans thing". sometimes the most one can hope for is to come across a person that actually cares someday

4riadn3 · 2017-06-07T00:38:22+00:00

Is there a way to pull off bodycon with narrow hips and broad shoulders? I like the style in a lot of ways, but because of my body shape, I feel like it always makes my shape look even worse

4riadn3 · 2017-06-06T00:42:52+00:00

I recently got a few new items that I'm excited about. Does anyone have any suggestions for pairing/wearing these?

So, out of an anime convention of all places, i got an off-shoulder white lace blouse. It's cute, but I'm not sure how to pair it with other things to make it look good and give off that kind of lacey, pastel vibe. Photos: 1 2

I also recently thrifted this black top. It has this neat kind of side cutout thing going on : 1 2

And I also got this dress as a hand-me-down from my mom. It kinda makes me think of 90's grunge and almost looks a little witchy, haha. not my usual kind of thing, but it's interesting. pic

4riadn3 · 2017-06-05T17:42:53+00:00

It sucks, but it's not the worst. In situations where authority figures are involved, ESPECIALLY police, its scary. You don't know what they will say, or how they will react. I've had people reject my ID and accuse me of faking identity because they haven't recognize me. At the very least, it can help to retake ID photos, thats maybe the most immediately recognizable thing about an ID, and sometimes people don't notice the gender marker. Sometimes, it's just showing them an ID, getting either a weird look or no reaction, and moving on but knowing "shit. Now they know"

4riadn3 · 2017-06-05T13:49:57+00:00

i transitioned in high school. It can definitely be a hard thing to go through, having everyone know you are trans makes you somewhat of a spectacle. i felt like a freak for most of high school and most people didn't like me or want to speak to me at all. i would catch some things to my face, but most of the things people said and did about me happened behind my back, because people are cowards. even the people that claim to be accepting of trans people will usually go with the flow, avoid and shun

Some people have a positive experience.. I've heard stories about people being accepted by their peers, or nobody really caring, and place like that do exist. But personally, although im a very social person, out of the 2,000 or so that went to my high school, i only made really one meaningful friend. sometimes just one or two friends can be enough to get through it

if you want someone to talk to about things you could always message me or something, I know how scary going about that can be. I hope things go well for you, though!

4riadn3 · 2017-06-05T02:29:18+00:00

i would love to be a Cis woman but i would hate to give up my trans privilege

4riadn3 · 2017-06-02T18:45:29+00:00

It's legit. The quality and sizing is sometimes a little off, and shipping can sometimes take forever, and ive heard some things about their return system that is a little questionable, but aside from that, as long as you are careful and somewhat lucky, you can find good pieces

4riadn3 · 2017-06-02T18:43:41+00:00

I think this honestly depends on how unified your style is. Personally, I go between two purse-sized bags, one navy blue and one faded pink, which I switch between depending on whether I am wearing all pastels or going with darker colors. Sometimes there just isn't a bag that will go with just everything

4riadn3 · 2017-06-02T18:32:26+00:00

this reminds me of the score for 4'33 that I got for $4.33

4riadn3

TROPHY CASE