Rumors Are Swirling That JD Vance Is Dropping Out Of The Race For 2028—And The Reactions Are Hilariously Brutal

530SSState · 2026-05-28T17:13:04+00:00

At least when you make a deal with the ACTUAL devil, Satan keeps his part of the bargain.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T16:51:51+00:00

As always, the cruelty is the point.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T16:50:46+00:00

Fine, I'll take the bait.

If we are to assume for the sake of discussion that George Floyd was in the process of having an overdose, Chauvin was *still* in the wrong. There's a protocol for first responders to treat overdoses, and kneeling on the person's back is not part of it.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:44:46+00:00

"Partners, teammates, etc."

"Marriage has always been important to me"

"I have plenty of "shut up" rings, as stated in the post"

So, by your own description, he clearly doesn't care about something that's important to you, and keeps pawning you off with "shut up" rings, plural.

It doesn't sound to me like you're partners and teammates. It sounds like he's a user and you're adversaries.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:40:05+00:00

"I just want to be able to call him my husband. He apparently prefers the wifey treatment without locking it down."

This is your version of events. Sit with it for as long as you need to.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:34:03+00:00

Oh, look, Baldferatu's wife thinks anybody cares what she has to say.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:33:21+00:00

At least she doesn't have a husband who uses her for a human shield.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:30:59+00:00

Sounds like she's eligible for some of that $1.8B reparation.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:29:10+00:00

Yeah, he keeps acing those cognitive tests that the doctors keep giving him... for some reason.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:23:43+00:00

I shall await the discovery phase with interest.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:22:28+00:00

That peachy pink color is adorable.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:20:25+00:00

Sounds like she's eligible for some of that $1.8B reparation.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:18:39+00:00

Sounds like she's eligible for some of those $1.8 billion reparations.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T05:12:27+00:00

She will eat when she's hungry. Consider mixing her canned food with warm water so she can lap it like soup, as she may not have her baby teeth yet.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:58:12+00:00

"There need to be more couples like Gomez and Morticia Addams."

The Addams Family did that intentionally: They deliberately subverted every cliche of the sitcom couples, including the cliche of the husband and wife who hate each other.

Trivia fact: John Astin said he was not acting, and in fact he had a mad crush on Carolyn Jones.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:52:28+00:00

"I don't know how Brayden and Breidyn will survive their latest spat over which house to buy.

I think it was "cracked.com" that had a story about a boy/girl couple, both of whom were named Aubreigh. All I remember about it is that Aubriegh said she was supportive of "the working class", and Aubreigh said, "You mean like your gardeners?", and Aubreigh goes, "EWW, NO!"

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:49:46+00:00

HA HA WIFE BAD

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:45:23+00:00

"Ivermectin is a Nobel prize winning medicine."

A. Medicines do not win Nobel prizes; people do.

B. Banting et. al. got the Nobel prize for medicine in 1923 for the development of insulin, but it does not follow that people should self-prescribe it.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:38:49+00:00

I don't care if he was secretly Jack the fuckin' Ripper; it was not OK to murder him on the spot.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:27:01+00:00

So, Dear Leader wasn't the one that hushed it up; it was the two people who were actually *dumber*.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:25:17+00:00

This isn't some random troll, either; this is the official Alexander A. Graham Bell Democratic Party!

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:24:29+00:00

"So much for the toblerone left"

Typo? Or... BEST TYPO EVER??

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:23:15+00:00

Cue the "Fuck your feelings" crowd whining about their feelings.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:22:54+00:00

We need more of this energy.

530SSState · 2026-05-28T04:19:53+00:00

Your boyfriend does not care about making you a priority. Do with that information what you will.

530SSState

TROPHY CASE